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The Path We Traveled

I am going to be a little real. Sometimes doing so much it gets people wondering in day-to-day life asking about how I can do so much.

Economic competitions, leadership camps, writing books, repairing, analyzing data files and that’s just over the past two weeks. Not including the work when it comes to my classes and volunteer work. Not including projects I may not talk about as much, and while I am happy to do it, because I think it should be done and no one else is getting to it.

I sometimes give myself a rest. Call it pulling the armor off. Just relax and breath to see the lay of the land of where we had gotten.

Six years ago, I was on the streets. Before that I was using this for goofy t-shirt design and just being a loud voice on the internet that seemed to be full of them. Being goofy I will never say no to on its own. The first posts of this blog go back to 2013, and it has been an odd but entertaining cross section in my life. Definitely was learning involved in the time frame.

It was strange because I am still that angry person but back then I was the person that knew nothing but to rage because he had not been taught a thing else. Family was brutal and abusive, friends were few and unable to help, and it just felt like the world was against you, and it was true because it was. Since then, I have gotten to university, flown to the nations capital, worked with policy centers and presented to the federal reserve. I have written books, and done more than a hundred different recipes for different projects and over the time I had to learn how to be social in a way I was never used to.

Kevin Nash, who is sneaky smart had a line in a promo that I think fits.

“A funny thing happened on the way to getting here, as I got older, I got wiser.”

Anytime I can work a wrestling quote that makes sense I will. There is a difference but who I am then and who I am now have changed to some degree, I have become cagier and I have been the one to make more positive out of the negative.  I am still the angry person that wants to make things better and cannot stand stupidity without reason. Just sometimes it is important to take your helmet off and look back at the path once traveled

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Learning Something New at All

Learning something new is hard, I think that is something that we all understand to some degree. I think what we forget is you can learn more the none major thing.

I have written on her of people changing drastically their careers. Porn stars who became therapists and psychologists. Instagram models who became biologists. Football players who became farmers. There is a love of life and wish of growth that I really like seeing and sometimes those journeys are not the easiest.

Kim Kardashian, recently talked about not passing the bar, the noted exam for lawyers, and its rough. Sometimes when you try to make a change it is very difficult, it is something where you will fail a few times. I am not writing this as a laugh track or some insult even though I have had issues with how the Kardashian have done business in the past. If you cannot cheer for those you disagree with or dislike to become better versions of themselves, you are not human.

Now, I am so small a blog, Kim Kardashian and that level of fame will be magnetically opposed to these posts. To her though, and everyone else who are having difficulties in their transitions career wise, keep going. It will be tough, but if it ever gets really bad, you have one loud jackass in the Pacific North West cheering you on to be better because if we do not get better than the world is much darker than any of us can dream.

Just because you are older or you have done things before you can still pivot into something new and learning is something you do every day if you love life and if you try to make the most of it then keep trying and I hope if you read this, you keep going, because if you try hard enough eventually you will make it.

Good Luck

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End of The Dream, Chaotic Good

300 hours volunteered in a semester and a year. Since I started at uni my volunteer hours were being counted and now I have near doubled my last year of school between may 14th to now.

Always something to be done and always something to be better at.

So let me do something else.

When would it ever be enough?

After I achieve my goal of making the city better what would I want?

This made me think about it.

I would be happy maybe with someone that cares for all my eccentricities who I am and not what I bring to the table. To be able to do good for my city and watch as the sun rises on a new apex of industry, and just enjoy a life of fights and bloodshed and violence made to something positive and just enjoy it.

Do things I never did before. I never went to Japan, homeland of my aunt and her family. I never flew private, I don’t know what people do in such jets but it sounds nice. Go to Africa and see how people do film there and make stories. Learn to cook in a dozen cuisines, and actually dress nicely. I wear clothes out and having a proper wardrobe would be nice. Invest in farms.

Oh, the one thing I would do with money and power and time, is be an unbreakable immovable trickster. Hear me out, you know the kind of people who never had someone get in their way, then ones with money with no sense? Having someone come from what I did turn their ideas I disagree with to mulch is going to be infinitely entertaining.

A group of people want less farms and push farms needing expensive sets of equipment, I am going to equip every one of them in the state. If someone tries to get someone off land by being sneaky I am going to give my lawyers a bunch of caffeine and tell them the budget is open to six or seven digits plus and I want blood.

You know the guy who in some movies or shows just helps the little guy out not just because it’s a good idea but also because the people doing the dumb crap have more dollars than brain cells? That would be me. Not just because it is the right thing to do, but because I am going to be an evil little troll doing it.

I mean with enough companies you got to have loss leaders to balance your taxes. How many places can I burn money.

Go to a hospital department, ask what do you need and tell a doctor and a nurse to stuff a shopping cart like supermarket sweep. Do I know if the new cat scan machine can be delivered, no, but we will figure that out in the long run. When you have enough money and power being the asshole on the good guys team is a perfect place.

Work treatment shit. Build a factory set to a thirty-two-hour work week, pay them for forty set pay for part time to be similar to account for an addition 8-hour shift for free and just do it better. Would a lot of rich people think I am Loki reborn?

Because pissing off people while you do good things is the sort of things that would give me life. Seriously. I get to that point it may not be a long ride but it will be a kick.

Just a thought.

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Value of Talking with Pigeons

You ever wonder what you shouldn’t say online? It’s something I deal with because, well, no one generally wants to hear me anyway and I don’t like wasting time. I don’t get how people can post every day.

Then I took a deeper thought as too why, and its still a problem for me to grasp. You see I can technically put anything on this blog, and sometimes if I do something interesting or I thought would be worthwhile to someone to anyone I do.

When I don’t it feels just off, like it’s taking space, and it still has to be drilled in my head that I don’t decide what is useful I can only put up stuff and hopefully someone does get some value out of it.  When you are raised to not waste time of others sometimes in an insulting way, it’s hard to unlearn that, and I will have to struggle about that as I grow.

Generally, people have not been interested in what interests me, the numbers, the styles, the just details of somethings. Here, though I need to remember that is not my decision, its yours. Just odd thoughts in something where it makes someone wonder how much they really knew about the world.

Granted I keep trying to learn but it seems there also has to be the moments the small little funny things that just keep you going. One of my personal favorites is trying to explain my thoughts with pigeons and name them after French chefs, or doing the same with ducks and Italian chefs.

You will look like a madman doing it, but for some reason they always stay long enough for me to explain a thought so long as they aren’t being in danger. The good thing is if it makes sense after talking to a bird you can most likely do it talking to a person.

Just a thought

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Scary Decisions To Make

Fear is an odd thing, it comes when you never expect it and when you do expect it it never goes the way you think. When you get close to a big goal where it is within your reach.

Life has not been the kindest to me, but there was one memory, her memory that wanted Portland to be a better place. That goal has been the reason for me to get up every day, the reason to patch myself up, to learn and go to college the way I have instead just focusing on me. Now I sit on the precipice of a decision that will win or lose change my life, and for the first time in years I was scared.

This reason to go on, this goal, could be accomplished if I win one more time. I will have the road to make this city better and I think I can do it. Then a hand feels like its squeezing your heart and panic starts to rise, and you hear your own breathing a little too well, and suddenly you feel like you don’t know if you are hunt or hunted, target or tracker.

Honestly, it feels strange. When you spend so much time with a reason being why you push yourself and suddenly you have a chance, a moment where you can step forward and try to get it, knowing if you win that you have done it, or you may lose. Finality brings the fear, a chance of maybe you aren’t that good, you can or can’t. When the reason you made it through hard times was for a mission and you can finish it something happens with who you are.

A decision here one way or another will change my life.  I may lose. I may be made a fool. I may be the lowest scoring person to ever try.

However, I have to try.

More Coming.

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Personal Update (Not Falling in a Black Hole)

You know I have an absolutely atrocious sleep schedule, I do not think I have slept 8 hours straight since the Clinton administration. I have talked over problems of the city and what could be fixed in it this time I just want to talk.

In the next sixty days I will be in three separate competitions, now I won’t go in depth for what I am doing but being in three competitions, alone, is kind of a problem to me because for two of them I should be on teams. Now, is that going to stop me? No. I tried to get teams and no one wanted to try it thinking there were other things to do, they didn’t feel it aligned with their majors or just thought it was not a good idea.

Now, for some that could be the end of it but this is something that may help me later and so I am going to step in with schools with teams incredibly more qualified and like I normally do take my best shot at it and who knows. Sometimes dark horses run sometimes.

Outside of this there is a lot going on and sometimes everything just feels like it is getting away from me in a form or another. Sometimes I do not even know why I try to do so much, but I have learned the level generally I do this with and how the next couple months I am pushing myself past that point for the sake of stretching my capabilities.

My health has gotten better in places, now we are doing enough I am losing weight slowly but naturally and my muscle is more coming in. Blood pressure is low at times but I have something now to help me with that, and something in case it goes too far. It sounds weird for those who see me to think I have low blood pressure, but it is true.

A joke I heard from a friend was that I had to be part shark (like Great White or Hammerhead as those sharks are the kind that need to if memory serves.) because otherwise I would just die, and the need to try and do definitely feels like that. Generally, I try to do one piece of advice so y’all can learn from my stupidity.

Just take care of your neck, I injured mine many times and I pay for it so take care of yourself. Don’t want to take your health from the present and pay for it in the future.

I did make a few things for different foods spices, but I need some more products that people want so I am working on that, in the free moments.

Writing novels have been fun, I may try to get published in the old-fashioned way and see what comes of it. Who knows, I don’t.

Until next time

Stay Sharky

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Finally published, kinda

So I have been published for the kindle on amazon. 100 ingredients: Home Edition will be available for 4.99. Although I had to go through self publishing options it does feel good to know I can put whole books up now and other people can read them. Until I hold the book though I still think it is like diet publishing. However I can get a good grasp of advertising and other associated angles before moving on.

Diet publishing aside because of my love literary hardware I did it. I hope you enjoy it. The fanfiction is up after a couple edits. They are not as long as I wanted them to be  Still like them though so they can stay. It is still amazing that I got something published so to celebrate i am going to relax and blow up some ships in Black Flag: Assassins Creed

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Fanfiction advice and update.

So I am almost done writing this round of fanfiction. As I had put a couple months previous I only have a couple to go and this round has been very illuminating. When you write with preset characters you see how you like to do things, and your style becomes more definable. It also allows you to try some thing you would not normally write about. whether it be very emotional scenes or very action packed ones you can get a fair bit of practice with things you know. I used to do more technical writing. Things that were directions when something had to be done when I was not present in person.

That and I am a class A sucker for a really sappy romance. Always was so being able to get comments from people and hear what they liked or did not like. Posting something online you will always have some problems with people who just want to rip you apart without actually thinking about their comments. There is a difference between constructive criticism and just trying to be hurtful. Which in my case trying to be hurtful over the internet is like trying to cause a paper cut with a soggy oreo. It just is not going to happen. 

So I am almost done and if you want to start with fanfiction the best information I could give is to just jump right in. Find a show or a game that you want to do something before just jumping in.

 

 

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Hitting the books – What I want to write

As I may have alluded to I want to do some publishing somewhere before my funeral.

One is something called 100 Ingredients: Home Edition. This book would be just talking about how different ingredients are handled and common applications over different recipes. This is going to be for people who are not the most comfortable in the kitchen. I was hoping to do more books in this line of thought with different sets of ingredients. That’s putting things too far ahead though. People who know how to cook will have something to gain from reading it. It has recipes in it, but it will be more focusing on the ingredient so you ( the readers ) can come up with your own recipes a lot easier.

The second is called Life, Love and Cooking. It is set up so you can read one page for every day of the year and it goes over dishes, experiences I have had in the kitchen, Working in the industry and some of the adventures I have gone on. Other cooks can laugh at some of the mistakes. People who want to get in the industry know some of the goings on. People who burn water will hopefully not and every one wins.

The typing is done on both and I have gotten some good returns from agents just not good enough to be contract worthy. Yet.

So tell me what you think of my book ideas? Like? Hate? Let me know because I would like to know.

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