Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor

Tiring, school is very tiring, but we had some work done, so let us go over the basics. I have found some places I can sell artwork. I think Redbubble will be my choice for right now as I have not heard too much negative from my friends using them, so that is coming soon. We have a lot of different artwork and even a couple of designs. I have one for a couple of designs I came up with when I was dabbling, and with the art and some other things, it could be a time to push that a little further. It will be fun to say I have merch and whatnot.
One other thing I wanted to get done is to fix up a Milwordy document readable in both excel and open office that can keep track of your word count if you try Milwordy or are just wanting something to keep you honest over a time frame. Due to how much time it took to get all the graphs ready on the last page breaking down by every three-month block what heavy edits, light edits writing and how everything stacks up. I will have it on Gumroad for a price of one dollar. It took me a fair amount of time. It includes something for excel, open office, and a read me, so anyone who wants to try Milwordy can give it a round. So products are going well. A few more of those are being sold, and been looking through the logistics for something akin to a U.S made version of Alibaba, something where it can be mass made in country, and yet that sort of thing does not exist; I have found.
I would like to get three things done, but looking at prices and some health risks on the third thing, the first two may be what I can do this year, and that is to upgrade both my desk and my computer because right now I am currently working on my laptop that has had some issues but has been like a good dog, faithful and doing its best for all it needs to do. Been a lot of work, and now we just need to keep rolling on everything else that is done. For all the problems there have been going on, I feel that a lot can be made and really build a better future we had in mind. It may be a pipe dream, but we shall see in that case.
So if you are a writer and fancy yourself wanting to see how much you do over a period, I will try to have this up after the Gumroad account has it. It may take me a few moments until afterward, but I am working on it. I am happy to see that it may be something to make a little money for writers. It may be late at night for me and maybe for you the day it comes out, but I hope you take a look and if you want to write and keep track then.

https://gumroad.com/js/gumroad-embed.js


Trying to make things happen. Stay strong, everyone.

Tired. So Tired

I have a lot of projects currently almost done and there is always more to do, and soon it feels like there is never enough time in the day to figure it all out. Learning more about business and what is needed to make what is personally wanted without killing myself with taxes or other things. Just trying to do it in Oregon especially close to Portland is like trying to enter an ass kicking contest on one leg and then try to stay on said foot. It is much more difficult then it needs to be and the market is not something that makes it easier so with all that there is a need to figure out finances which luckily have been enough for me to get this far.

When everything hurts though there is a point I have learned where you get tested, when it feels like spikes going through your legs and your body can barely move but everything has a price of pain whether nerve or muscular or something and you need to write a paper and you miss a quiz and your workout hurt but the intel on the stores to start selling in places. Then you need to research things and then you have to watch a ninety minute thing for a project and wondering if a version can be found to watch at double speed, because, yes listen to all new or nonfiction videos on Youtube like that and no that will not change. If it isn’t music then it needs to be doing it faster. Funnily enough it does work for me and if a deeper watch is needed, then one can take a look over the few seconds and minutes until the deeper details are found, and often still get done before the video would do.

There will be moments when you are pushed to your limit and you will realize what those moments are. People can quit but when you try to to make it through it does something a lot different then if you quit and in some way that is more in line with my own bouts of work fueled madness that makes me happy to have them. In those moments people will be tested and through my experience it can be found to be thankful for that test because without it is a question if I will never make it to the points my goals sit if in those moments the choice chosen is not to continue but to quit.

Pardon for the odd emotional outpouring, anywho, eve though projects will be hitting points soon, there is still somethings to keep moving because one thing I have learned about myself is that there will never be a point where enough is enough, there are always more things to do and to learn and better yet, when those moments come where the finish line is reached for a major portion if not an entire project. Learning that you can do it because a loud over-bearing egotistical person could do it and you might as well is something that personally, I hope more people do.

Do you have any songs that you listen to when you kind of need to get in a good head space to cause some havoc on your tasks, get some major progress down, competition maybe? One of mine is the Godzilla theme because large lizards, and I like large lizards so simple reason but it works for me.

So, what is done since last time and last week was my birthday so no article. Hope you all had a good week. Got some writing done on a d/d campaign and did more work for the kickstarter thing to start, there is some character sheets done for a manga and beginning to work on some music so while this may be late at night currently there is six full books that need to be formatted because it sounds like doing the self publish is the better route right now. Overall things are moving, more progress should be coming.

Stay Strong.

Trying To Do It All

Some days I feel like I am made more out of duct tape, bubblegum, and gorilla glue than whatever actually counts as a human. Over the past three months, I have had my neck pop off calcium crystals and after that had TMJ spasms that had full-on ripped things from my neck to the point where I had to cease all weightlifting exercises and stop working with my weighted vest.

Been learning how to use some AI art tools and my Instagram should show those as of late. It’s not my usual stuff but it does use my talents in another way so I cannot complain and I like working with it. Despite all the progress it sucks when I get injured and have to take more time to heal up if I could just at least get to a point where I do not have to worry about health issues and then being hurt. Pain or not things need to keep moving otherwise will be as bad as they have always been

Ai art here 

Not bad for Ai and ME

What can be done though? I do my best and try what I can all for the sake of making headway and just try to get out of my own way when I need to heal up. That is all I can do now, heal up and do other things to make sure to get my exercise and work on the projects as I need to and one of them is going to be the inside garden I need to make. It has been one of the things needing to get done but everything else has been getting pushed back. We have gotten a couple things growing though, and you know it is nice to enjoy the small bits of progress when one can. 

Progress is being made and it looks like the milwordy will be hit before the seventh month. It will be very difficult to be clear as to the halfway point but let me put it in perspective. A million words is a challenge and as of right now let me go over things that have been done. Just to put it in perspective as to what has been in that million words so far not that I have hit at 800k

41 fanfiction, including edits –https://www.fanfiction.net/~bigtanderson you can check those here 

A year of blog posts – rather loose on the meaning of creative, but even in nonfiction one has to be creative and I think if you show the writing from the start of November to now you will find a big difference.

A children’s book – https://mrtanderson.gumroad.com/l/WGdSA

2 semesters of creative writing projects, because, yes I have been going to college while I have been doing this.

2 book drafts finished

9 light edited

2 heavy edited

With several more to go.

In one year even the stupid book of insults had been something that added to the profile. I can say I will hit the goal because unless I got knocked into a coma for six months the finish line is well within range and that is good to know but we can try and push even harder and get it done before my birthday.

My birthday is May 1st. While everything is going on if I can do this in the next will be five days if I release it on time. Before that, I will not be able to do much on Sunday as that is my day with my uncle. That means I roughly have 9 days to do what I need to do with everything and to make it all possible. That would be a hard ask and probably is not going to happen but it should be able to happen before the end of May. Even to hit a million by month seven would be a sure feather in my cap I found a few more people that had done it, but I am also developing a book file to work in excel or an open office for people to chart their own writing over a year.

I have had some time to think on the point of the Indiegogo with a couple people I know who had run some successful ones and I think that will be the next project to work on behind the scenes and start getting it out there. I think we are ready to make that happen. Tweaking and working that is next on that list and the next twitch project is the music run with all that keeping classes high is going to be important because to make it on the honor roll even starting off at a community college where I am getting some progress made.

All in all, I feel I should be happy, but there is still some specter making me think not to count it until it is over the finish line. Maybe that is the kind of person I am but in any case, this month there had been a writing competition on Twitch. Yes, I am on twitch, and yes I am about as nonserious as one would expect, this is really one of my most serious points. I am rambling I just wanted to get some thoughts off with Portland being what it is right now.

Stay strong.

Musings of Home

You know what I loved about Portland. There always seemed to be something to learn, you could be someone trying to do their best and it just seemed if you knew where to look Portland had everything to get to the next level in you crafts. There had been so much to learn and do and it felt that you could pull yourself by your bootstraps and make yourself something because there was and were for a long time things too numerous to count going on around the city. It had problems, but it had a charm that made it a place I loved to call home.

I don’t know as it stands right now if my home will ever bounce back because for as much as the twitter profiles of the city commissioners are crowing about how they should be reelected because the city has been made safer. Over the past three years specifically to Joann Hardesty but to the others look at the P.R. and the city’s own count to things. If you look at that and tried to tell people things were getting safer. Look at the city report and if you still say it is safer I got bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

https://www.opb.org/article/2022/03/17/portland-leaders-address-continued-gun-violence/

https://www.portlandoregon.gov/police/81203

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/feb/27/portland-shooting-extremism-america-predictable

I hear people defending her saying she was not responsible for the police. She was responsible for the fire department, the same fire department that had not been able to get to all those fires lit in the riots. She was the right hand for the mayor Ted wheeler, we went over him multiple times. She is in charge of education and the fire department and during all of this she is both part of a group to help make Portland as good as it can be and according to her defenders far enough away from the mayor despite working with him on how to defund police (she was a proponent of that in Portland).

She worked with the mayor on this and she wanted to take control of the police department and yet people defend her saying how she was too far being the person was essentially fill in mayor. At some point the time has to come for people who with a history of failure should not be left in power and 3-4 years is more then enough for me. Where people seem to not understand is that this is not something that has to have a figurehead, you need to have someone who can get the job done.

I am watching this next election very very closely because if people can look at her and look at all the other people wanting to give it a crack and still think she is the best option then I need to maybe look from that as political path. My home needs help but I cannot fix things as fast as someone else can screw it up. Did that with my roommate and honestly I am not going to lose time like that again.

Stay strong.

All for the Sake of Power

For all the people trying to help other groups or go to bat for all the supposed slights against their group, one thing that could be done right now and people would actually have to see that Portland is about trying to help people. We have a group of people that are still struggling to get the benefits that should be given to them and often have few or no people to help get them what they are due. Disabled people, across the board, have had to deal with a system that actively pushes them away for the sake of wanting to keep payouts low. This should be a simple thing where we take evidence of the disability and see if it matches what is needed. Make sure one has the evidence to back it up, check the validity of the evidence, and if all that checks out make sure they get benefits to help out. For some reason or another, there just is a time of struggle for anyone trying to get some money in a situation where it seems like the world is against them. 

If you try to make the most of your life despite meeting the disability there is a good chance that you will be denied for years upon years. Each attempt for it failing meant another couple of years before the next appeal. Depending on their health it could very well mean that they will not be able to survive, or that they will be in much worse health because the money that should be there would be something that would allow them to keep some semblance of a quality of life. Some people may not be happy about the disability program thinking it is a quick road to ill-gotten gains and if you had thought this then you never had to go get it because when talking with people who are trying it is more shocking to hear people getting it first try and less shocking that people would wait for ten years just to get some form of pittance.

Pittance by the way is exactly as it should be because remember, this is for the people who can not work gainfully, either full or part-time to earn enough money to live a basic life. According to the census to be counted as under the poverty line one has to earn 12,880 dollars in most of theU.S with D.C, Hawaii, and Alaska. We will work from the lower number for the sake of ease and skewing it against our own side to the point to try and attempt some fair discussion. 12 thousand dollars is a lot in one time but splitting that up times the 12 months means you are now working with just over a thousand dollars but the max one can get specifically for those who have been in low pay work is generally around 800 dollars. 

You could work for ten years and have some maladious effect on your health and you still would not be able to survive on what you get. On top of that if you want to make things so that you find a way to skrimp and save you cannot have more than 2000 dollars in an account to work with. That makes it nearly impossible for people to move or do anything of value when you have to make sure that when you do it you have to make sure you will never need it again, and by the way, this does not include stuff like tax refunds or anything like that. Disability is not set or used as a hand up because there are disabled people if they could be given a way to at least get the resources they have qualified for they would be more open to trying to work or do things to help their communities. 

All of this is based on the ruling of judges who do not care to try for the most part and no punishment or party is keeping them in check. If your judge cannot read, that’s on you, if your judge cannot spell, that’s on you. If your judge just hates disabled people and gets a boner only from making people so miserable that for many there is no response, then find out where they live, send them glitter in the mail and stuff enough fruit up every tailpipe that every car can be called a fruit salad. That is also on you, though. Also, because I know some people may not be able to read the last line and understand the tone, that was done in a joking manner. 

Still, it sucks and it needs work and for a lot of people, there isn’t any hope. Really makes you wonder why more disabled people just haven’t gone full supervillain, wouldn’t shock me a bit. How much would one be able to take before feeling that the world is against them with enough moments to hammer it home.

Stay strong.

JoAnn Needs S.O.S For Re-Election

Jo Ann Hardesty is running for re-election, and upon realizing that, I needed a handle of cheap whiskey and several new and amazing drugs to try. I would revert my brain to whatever hormonal beast I was in puberty. If it means the city commissioners currently in office would all go sod off into the sunset. My preference would be the sunset on mars to get that extra bit of distance.

So, some people may actually think she has done a good job. These people are either in the areas that are so bound to sniff their own backside. (looking at you pearl) Or the pieces of the city so gentrified that even the homeless get food from Starbucks. The rest of the city is one great big sweltering nugget of refuse. Fewer businesses are open, more people getting killed, less money is being made, more people are living in the streets, schools are doing worse (remember Oregon made it so now guidelines for things like literacy and math are not needed for a diploma). The amount of hope I have is that this group or someone else is going to screw it up. Before people start mocking them until they run away and hide underneath useless jobs.

Three years is enough to get something positive done, and while there was a pandemic, I am done with letting morons get a free ride. In three years there should be at least one single positive thing that she has done and while comments can be found. The problem is that nothing has changed for the better. I would say that it is more of a shock because one would think that due to someone’s efforts, and by the laws of probability that something would get better. To fail so perfectly is actually harder to do, than every once in a while accidentally tripping over a positive change. No, getting funding is not a positive effect. It’s like setting a sandwich bar with enough tomatoes if you don’t make sandwiches. If you do not execute on the goals then you can be setting it up and still fail. This will tell me how Portland is going and I cannot see it going anywhere good if she gets re-elected, she has shown to be ill-equipped, moronic, and cannot handle the duties of her position. Also, the funny part is everyone going to racism or sexism against the detractors or trolls. What color her skin is, or what genitals she has does not add, detract, or change anything to the foolishness she has filled her years on the board with. I do not care who she is, I care about her work, and her work stinks. If someone cannot understand that, then they need to take a look in the mirror because the ideological tug of war has gotten me tired and this intersectional spew does little to the people trying to make progress on their own efforts and ideas.

My own opinion on how to handle it has been changing for anyone who sees me on Twitter and if anyone has been part of the camp that believes I will calm down in my later years of life, I have some bad news. It still has not happened and for the most that can be done, it does not look like it ever will be happening. As you can see by my additions I add a touch of humor in everything because if one cannot laugh at oneself then I fear life would be very dark at times.

Homeless in Portland

Portland has an issue with the homeless situation and one of the biggest questions is how can we fix it?

To see how we got here we need to realize a few things, one is something people have been wanting to do and that is who is to blame for this whole affair and three parties once can look at Portland’s problems and all of them will lead to something that the citizens will not like to hear. Those three parties are the city council and all the people who had been on it since Wheeler got into office filling in for Hales when he left. Hales leaving by the way has got to be the biggest dodge this side of the matrix because if he knew it or not this cannot be tied so much to him.


Every city commissioner whether they were on before or came on after has to look at the major portion of the blame because for all the power and privilege they could not get any less done without a plan. Jo-ann Hardesty who ran on a campaign against the homeless boulder project trying to craft herself as their champion has shown to be one of the biggest failures to her position in recent memory from how she has bungled the riots with the rest, how she has not been able to get the educational capabilities up to the quality and despite asking for more power she has not been able to handle her normal business in position.


Ted Wheeler, is someone that I thought had to be trying to burn the city down, but since those moments years ago. I wish I could say his quality has also gone up but that would be a bit of a stretch by most standards and even his most ardent defenders have so little to stand on that any time dealing with them online would bring memories of screaming children as both would have no idea what the situation would entail and is just mad because they are on the wrong side of the emotional exchange. Let me say it clearly, I do not think the mayor of Portland is doing this out of spite. I think from his actions in an office he is either very emotional or very stupid and while not pure malice can sometimes look like it at times. His time dealing with the riots as they began, the attack on Andy Ngo, the clash of pro-trump and Antifa groups, the pandemic, the riots, and the side effects have been nothing but a complete failure and one where he still got re-election because the only other person running ran on a campaign dubbing herself the Antifa mayor, from the same group of people that the group never existed and it was just an idea.
So we have the city commissioners and two of the greatest hits among them, but we also need to look at the Multnomah County District Attorney Mike Schmidt whose work about trying to make the justice system fair has led to the most murders in recent history, the most gun violence in recent history, the most assaults n recent history and is such a rampaging buffoon I honestly think that Hitomi Tanaka or any other busty porn star with six weeks of training and an effort to do a good job will do better, and just for the record Hitomi Tanaka does not have a law degree either. Mike Schmidt will go down as the worst amongst everyone who has committed to the position and save for people trying to outclass his glittering capstone in the processes of legal failures upon a community I doubt it will ever be overcome. Under him, there has been a loss of prosecutors that Portland has ranked in the bottom third of prosecutors per 100,000 people according to KATU.

https://katu.com/news/katu-investigates/portland-multnomah-county-playing-catch-up-reducing-violence-da-says

Few people would like to talk about how the police are just blaming without remembering one thing. In the setup, we have as of this writing and the one that has been used for the past decade or so the last word on the police department is the mayor. We have also lost enough police officers that even the Daily Mail is picking up the story and even did an article six months ago expounding upon it.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10186699/Portland-PD-788-cops-lowest-number-1989-amid-violent-crime-surge.html

On top of these two parties in Portland’s power structure being as useful as a wet fart in a toilet paper shortage, we have to move on up to the governor of the state who could be outclassed by several things one may work within a day like a cheese sandwich, a pencil, the previously mentioned wet fart, and that is to name a few. Kate Brown could only be called a success if her goals were to destroy education, raise suffering and actively try to make everyone less skilled and more miserable. In that metric, she has actually done a half-decent job.

Now the most painful part, all of these people have been elected and the city commissioners including Wheeler have not one election but two. That means the people say their work and thought they are good for the ob and that makes me wonder. Do people know what these people do? Kate Brown has been in since 2015, JoAnn Hardesty since 2019, Schmidt was placed in after the previous DA retired, and Wheeler since 2017 after the previous mayor retired and then won his own election.


Mind you some may take all this and see all the democrats and think I am anti-democrat, I am not. I am however very much anti idiot and both of the big parties are filled with zealotry that their own beliefs are the proper ones. Let me explain, no, the party line is not the code to live one’s life Further away from that there is some issue in the citizens that people in some portion want to support all manner of action as long as it makes them feel good in the short term. This will wreak havoc in the long term and while some see that we have to get away from the soft feel-good way of voting and people need to spend a little time to figure out what needs to be done to go from where we are to where we want to be. Otherwise, the people we will have to blame the most for this are ourselves and while I have been trying through various things among everything else and I am doing more about it now.

I think it is clear that we need to get a better quality of the person in the office and we need to realize as citizens that doing something good sometimes will not be easy.

Things that would be more effective in office than the politicians and day listed above.

Offensive Interference

When reality decides to interfere it can feel like you had all momentum stopped and then all you can do is look at where you are and see what stopped you and grit your teeth wondering that some foolish person or thing could not tell when you had been working on something and decided to throw the spanner in the works. It means a lot when you looked at what you had and something comes out of the blue taking away what you did and now you have a project where you have to get the energy to push the boulder up the hill all in the hopes of bringing your project to completion.

You will feel aggravated, angry, furious and there is a point where you may want to use your emotions and simply blow up at everyone who is causing you problems when you have that moment it will be hard to take that emotional energy and instead of using it and cause more negative you put it towards something.

Take a moment and get your beath and then get yourself back to work and use all the venom and vigor from whatever happened and try to make something happen with it. Sometimes this means you just need to tell people to turn tail and pound sand until the deserts are empty. There are moments where such things are all you can do and keep the momentum but it does feel good when you take that pain or anger for anything and you put it in your project.

For me, I had issues with my roommate that took me to use the patience of several saints and not go bonkers when everyone wants to seemingly act like screaming turkeys. When one person in a group has to be the adult or even the human of a group during a situation like that for any period of time.

Breaking down what she had come down from whatever she was on and there had been a conversation that I could not use what little energy I had left trying to go through some of the incidents she had with her friends and others around her and I could not fix things when she decided to fly off the handle. This has been a situation that had been getting progressively worse over the past few months and while I tried to play ball there was so much still to do that I had to look at myself and realize I need to focus on myself more than others because I cannot let people take the majority of my energy and care.

Something else I had learned is no matter what you want to do you have to realize that loyalty is like a precious resource and when people invest it into you. You should invest it in return but when people decide you can’t invest in them you really need to take that time and energy and return it to investing it in yourself.

That means that we have some things coming and obviously I need to move so with that I hope I can find somewhere that is more secure to work on my stuff, but overall progress is progress so I will take it.

Stay Strong.

Working on things

College classes are rough right now so far so good though and right now just trying to get set up for the long term and getting everything to do such things is often the hardest part, it isn’t the classes and the homework then you have to deal with the funding unless you can get it all paid at the start for something and if you do then great but it is something that really takes some time especially when you have something to cover it.

As it stands everything loves to waste time when it needs to pay and when I have to pay it needs to be done at light speed. I find it funny when people expect one and the other in reference to that, It will not matter though as in the long term it just means someone needs their arm bent by paperwork. Nothing says complete hopelessness like someone who is either lazy or does not want to help you and still has to do it or risk the consequences. I would prefer just getting it done but sometimes one needs to bring out the vinegar to get some flies.

So writing-wise the light edits are doing well at least and most of my work is almost done with the first round and the product afterward with the books that I find is the best way for me to continue moving forward. There seems to be something where I want to do something by a certain point in time and then I look at the product and go…

“I can polish it up a little more.”

Then it goes into the polish file where the whole thing seemingly waits until the half-life of Jupiter before I either give up or yell “screw it” and finish it. That is something that I have had to learn to work myself out of, but in this facet as long as I am happy with it that is really the point to move forward so please be patient. I know it may seem strange even going so far as labels and specific projects. How a single color looks on a label may be something some people do not even look at for more than a fraction of a second, but it is important.


That is why I havent done some recipes because after I would cook I will take a picture and think it could be done better next time. One of those problems I would just need to work on I guess.
Stay strong.