Writing at Nyoom Speed

Writing, writing, writing. I have been writing a lot recently and it has added up to a few things that will be sold soon but right now we have to go over the little treats for you all. Two projects. One, a selection of fanfiction. I challenged myself to write and that can be picked up off of Gumroad, that is something you do not need to pay for, none of my Gumroad ones are. Just, if you do want to pay something I would appreciate it.

70k of words as short stories in 2k to 2.5k each about a character I have in the game, because I like the game, and that is enough for that right now. Share it, join me on twitch, (https://www.twitch.tv/mrbigtanderson) have a good time, but there is more that will be done in other things because you know I cannot rest for long periods of time. It just does not work well for me that way.

Also, after cost out it looks like I can sell each 4oz container by volume will be sold five dollars per but as one can see, there is a fair amount in each one and it will have flavors that will boost your food from the flat to the gold, but there is a video that is in the works. Five dollars per is at the high end of where I wanted it to be, and was within the range already in the stores. I still haven’t worked out the whole mail thing yet. Working on it, though, but it is a lot done in the month so far and we got a week and change to go.

We are going to get some stuff done, and hopefully have fun. It has been a rough road so far, but like everything you got to be more hard headed then your obstacles, and while I have had some low points, from the death of family members semi recently to issues with the body, it is still sweet to get a little progress. More is coming.

Stay Strong Everyone.

This is the face of nyoom. Speed unfiltered.

Kata In Administrative Violence

There is something in me that wishes wholeheartedly that makes me want to compete, and I know my body just does not take to it very well, it had been many years since heavy competition and every time I train often ends to me usually hurt and trying to tape myself together before getting even more hurt. What could be so painful as having a mind that is fine and a body that could be the cage, well sometimes one has to work within one’s capability and that means having to deal with the pain of what could have been needs to go away because in the new time one has to do the new things and through it great things can still be done.

For me I hate how my body breaks down but I have been doing more stretching and pushing different things further to try and get back some semblance of the energy I once had, and now despite the passing out at random times for certain things it means I can at least try to keep going.

Why am I yammering on like this? Well, right now there 8, yes 8 books to be edited and the end of this nano means one large fanfic project and another book so by the end of the month so there could be 9 or even 10 of them things get really pushed to the brink. Then there is the stuff with the food and then there are things coming together through some application of administrative violence.

Administrative violence is the practice of using the system against those who are being the pain in your ass and can be very useful as some days pass and people do not learn the lesson for not screwing with you. I would suggest everyone learn some administrative violence fighting technique and you will find yourself much more accepting of what cannot be changed and much more capable on the facets that can be.

So work well and stay strong.

Short One, Longer Post Monday

One day is all it takes to right the ship, and it often can be enough where you do not need the whole day; as soon as things start going your way, it could be half a day, and your entire fortune has changed. I have not gotten there yet myself, but something has begun to go my way, and that gives me time to get more done.

This month I said it was going to be essential, and it was. For everything that had to be done, it was going to be a month of a lot of trying, wrapping up a lot of things, and even more hitting the finish line. That would be some friendly feelings, and while my body has been broken at the level of shattered glass, fr every step over the finish line, it makes you feel just that much more of yourself.

As of right now, I have spent project after project getting it further and having to tape up my body from breaking down as it did so many years ago when a bruised rib was a good day and blood loss was a pain for the laundry but not much else because I wore black back then as well.

I will want one day to live in what John Goodman once called “A position of fuck you.” A point where no matter what happens, as long as I live, if I don’t take serious risks, I can live until my last dies like a prolonged retirement with only my time and my mind in my base of solitude to make the entertainment as I need to.

This will be a short post, but some cards are falling in favor. All I can hope is I can turn it into more progress. Stay strong, everyone.

November Begins.

Mentally I have constantly pushed ways to get better, and mental is a part of the game like everything else.

For those who do not know, I am disabled. I don’t think I have advertised it as much, but I haven’t hidden from it either. More of my nerve system is damaged than not, and that is always trouble, leading me to what we can call some unusual situations. Like dealing with disability judges, I bring part of this up because, for those who don’t know, I am getting close to 8 years fighting for a disability that we have medical testing. We have multiple examinations in favor.

I was told I could go into production with nerve damage in my hands, fingers, passing out, and vertigo spells.

I was told I could be a welder. This is not a joke, lets take Mr. McCrabclaw and then give him explosive fuels because nothing could go wrong. Let that be a lesson that if you can’t read and can only count to 1, you can always get a judge’s position in disability. Glad to know that the support net is there for them. What bothers me is that my story isn’t even the worst I have heard, I have gone to town halls and city meetings on this, and no one can tell me why this is the case.

You know how bad I feel when people look at me and see someone who represents them I feel horrible because I am not good at it. I am a loudmouth who used to cook and saw a load of bs where people said the disability system is.

However, it is educational because in a time where people have to seem to each have their own thing. Maybe, as the idea has been rattling in my brainpan, that I could perhaps do something because I am making progress, and I will do so until I cannot any further.

Also, I need to cost out, but I also need to work on writing projects, and it is NaNoWriMo, the month I am just trying to get to 75k in words across my projects so I can finish up as many projects as I can. Typing this on the first, I am already 10% of the way with this post. It will be a big month, and I need to step up to the plate.

It seems each month I need to go another level, and at this point, I am in what some would call the ‘fuck it’ territory, which can be best described for those who do not know with the picture below.

If you like my work, share it, talk about it and catch me on other places online, and I hope you all stay strong.

Progress and Pain

It has been a while, but I have done a lot. First, I got a few mixes made up and done, and while I like the flavors, I run the numbers a couple more times to make sure everything is where I think it is.

When I began sharpening my formulas, I wanted to have a few products, I wanted a couple and landed with seven seasonings and mixes I am happy with and can make. I went through the numbers once, and after tweaking the recipes again, I should be fine. Still, it is nice to be sure when starting, which is good because I needed something to take my mind off the disaster my family has become.

I got an upgraded formula to the first three items, and now with the following four, I can even say I have a powdered veggie stock made out of vegetables, no extra chemicals. I got a pizza seasoning that is not spicy but adds so much more flavor. I also got something for some dessert shops. I made an apple chocolate truffle with my production techniques, and it feels good to know you got something that can’t be beaten.

I really need to do this with my good camera. All 7

I feel good about specific products with business-to-business usage and then specifics for selling to the peeps and populace in different stores. However, one of the few things that still bothers me is going to be simple production. I can only make so much of each item with the work needed, with the ingredients taking two days per round.

Often one day is needed just for the drying and after cooking, cleaning, prepping, seasoning, often taking a half-day to a full day, and on top of that, my body will not be able to do it all with no breaks. Still, with the time of two days from fresh to seasoning and testing and retesting and being happy with what we have, we can do three cycles of cooking and drying every week. One day will be enough for additional rest, tinkering on new formulas, taking a rest day.

So after one more set of number crunches, I will be ready to advertise and go. Also, I got some ideas for more products and stuff to make things happen.

Disappointment In People

A lot was going on this week, and part of it made me think about how I deal with people I felt I could trust. I am not made of money right now, and on top of it, I had to get rid of some weapons-grade bullshit.

My roomie suddenly fell in love with a con man. She is two decades older than me, devout Christian type, supposedly. Well, con man has this supposed business idea he has been trying to get off the ground for a few years now. So she put in her laptop and hundreds if not thousands of dollars, only being told that her paycheck was on the way.

Well, at the behest of my roomie she stated, that a guest would be coming down to help with the business, and I don’t like this guy. Conman said he is black ops, is about 5’9, 130 lbs dripping wet and is on the phone at all times and cannot handle when he screws up, and when anyone is mad at him, he will run away like he had to change his pants after a taco night. This person came down, and she explained she would be paid by Tuesday. Thursday came with both my roommate and conman running away. The only time my roomie shows up, she says it is not her problem despite earlier helping the guest get here and working with a con artist.

While all this is going, conman insults her, brings up her kids, and is just trying to get a rise out of her and tells her, the guest, that she needs to give five things about what she did wrong. He also said to her that the apartment was his (it wasn’t), that they had money (they don’t), and that she just had to take a loan out on her boat in Michigan before she could get paid.

Things go sour because this person, who drove down to a different state with at least a five-hour drive, recognized she was scammed and after contacting my roomie wondering what was going on. She replies that it wasn’t her problem, and I exclaim that she put her name to all this. No reply, the guest is stuck in our apartment, and now she is just walking off, not caring. I talk to her outside, wondering what caused this change, and I explain conman can’t be here.

She says that she needs to find a place for him now. I ask why she needs to if he was a businessman and couldn’t get a home, and she huffs off, stating that she will need to move in with him. She tries, explaining that they were supposed to drive down to Vegas when she said they had flight tickets. The more my roommate tries to defend this, the more times their stories are getting incorrect, disappointing me.

I wish my body could be average. I wish I could work like I used to with boundless energy. Then, I would work much longer, and all this wouldn’t be a problem.

I still got to keep going, so stay strong.

Banging My Head Against A Wall

Drying things yourself will be interesting. The items last much longer and are much easier to pulverize to powder. The problem is drying removes water which, takes away a lot of mass which means I will need more of it.

The good news is that it holds very well after being bagged up. Drying such things makes it valid for items like ramen packs, another source for a product line. If I can make a good pack in America, it could sell well.

When I can get a smoker that works for a smaller amount by cold smoking, I will work on it. Right now, I have a smoker grill, but it would be difficult to use it for smaller amounts. I wonder how that will work. In any case, maybe there is another way to get the smoking effect I am looking for.

Doing more research on who might be against me in sales is the Oregon Spice Company, which seems to only work with businesses. Through my searches in stores (when I could), I could not find any products they sold, which means they would only be competing on the business-to-business scale.

Then there was an issue that came from my family. I found out that my mother had died. The first thing that had been from that was actually a disappointment. A portion of my family had used her. Through previous visits, rare they may be, that she was not getting better care, and her own doctors and physical therapists have said just as much.

My sister would use everyone to make her own life better and emotionally manipulate all to do so. She was someone who made the deal to get our mother out of my care and under her own. Through my visits, the care she had brought and been much worse than under my supervision, and I knew it, and my mother knew it as well.

If all these people knew it, if the rest of the family understood what that meant, why didn’t they try and make an effort to give better care? Well, my father, who had the house, gave up. My sister was lazy and thought smoking was the better idea to while away her time. My sister’s husband, who lived with them, did his best but found caring for two kids and an elder and trying to clean up the house while doing his work, which was too much for him.

My brother couldn’t stand to be around them and their egotistical ways. My father couldn’t deal with the problems and just gave up and walked back into his room and his games and gave up all other goals or dreams and letting my sister run the show for the most part.

Dealing with her passing is like banging ahead in the well, like my father, her ex-husband, after a 20-year marriage. My sister is in charge of the funeral and her paperwork. She has already botched it enough times the extended family had to call her out. It has been disappointing, but I plan to focus on my goals and hope the family can clear their shit out.

Behind The Clock

No, I did not forget, just was working on a lot of stuff.

What kind of stuff?

Well, got a digital scale again so now I can start costing things out and this will get me to figure out my price points. Also, got my old laptop powered up and got my old bath salt formulas for the sake of maybe selling it later, all natural, pleasing and unique scents, but that is for later. We are working on the foodstuffs and currently roasting off the onion and garlic to see what it grinds down to, taking down some info and going over some of what I had from my old laptop.

That is about 15 gb of data to go through getting what I can from it. That is a lot of work.

Also found older formulas for other products flavor mixes, and whatnot so that is always a nice little thing to hold on too. I know this is way late, but I have also had a lot of health issues including a set of tmj spasms that feel like someone is bolting my tendons to my skull.

Still it is nice to have that extra laptop and charger in the closet just in case I need it. Other things are just getting some data and beginning to see where my numbers are which would have been a lot easier if it were for my health. I cant complain though, I am doing what I can to get better health and I knew this had a chance of happening so all I can do is continue to soldier on.

Sorry, this took a while to get down but I do hope you join me as I try to make it even further because right now with how things going seeing some positive front and center is something we can all use.

Stay strong.

It Stings In Blind Spots

As many of the writings have shown here, I ask a lot of questions, sometimes I get it wrong, sometimes right, but I do try. One thing I absolutely hate is zealotry for the sake of one’s side despite everything. That is different from believing it and realizing there are faults. In fact, it could be just as much as the difference between meaningful conversation and yelling at a wall.

Also, as much as I try to push myself to do better things. The past few days have been difficult because there have been many moments where I feel out of place.

It finally capped off with a conversation on Twitter about politics. While they were very passionate and we had issues with the other’s points, something was touched upon that made me think.

I have lived and around the Portland area for the better part of three decades. Politically it is not a flattering cross-section for any group. Those who backed the mayor failed in many metrics, including gun safety, homelessness, quality of life. They couldn’t stop the protests when they picked up and continued. This person was so adamant so passionate about their political beliefs being correct. While they were more open than most, they still were more emotionally wrapped in the issues.

Which made me think back to the concert. I have been so emotionally numb for fear that I don’t want something I may do or say to be used against me, especially against my goals. This is led me to think about why I am so guarded, and it came to me.

In my life, I have had my family betray me, my loved friends killed, my name besmirched, harassed by police, used as a poker chip, tossed away from a family that hated me. I have been shot at dozens of times, lit on fire on three separate occasions, countless sprains, concussions, bruises, torn tendons, pulled muscles, spasms, fibromyalgia, and that is just off the top of my head.

After all that, you get a bit jaded. I have found that in going day by day, I never really allowed myself to emotionally relax.

It stings when you know you still have growing to do, especially when you feel you made progress. Still, a mile is made of many steps, and hopefully, by the time I reach my goals, I can be a good enough person, at least to make this mudball a little better as well.

Stay strong.

Relaxing when Onions get Expensive

I got to put my hair down, so to speak, and go see a concert, a concert whose tickets I had been holding since before the pandemic. Joy. The show still had a VIP meetup but did not tell me about it because I didn’t buy it in July or September. I held on to my tickets from 2020.

Thanks, Moda Center; nothing makes me feel like I know what I am doing, like getting your people on phone calls and getting “I don’t know for 30 minutes” and no effort to help out. Makes me feel like a real wunderkind when the guy with half a properly working nervous system can do better.

Do I sound angry? Really I am not. Lindsay Stirling had a great concert, and I was close enough that the bass gave me a free back massage through my ribcage for missing the VIP meetup earlier.

Roommate couldn’t get her paperwork, so I invited a past co-worker who I knew liked it. All the while, I couldn’t shake the idea that I should be trying to look at different formulas for flavor profiles or work on my project and being in a group of people like that.

Well, to say out of place would be an understatement.

Moda center needs better food, though. Seating-wise, the front area near the stage was sold out. However, it was not a complete sell-out which is sad; Lindsay Stirling is a bright, bubbly person that is almost so saccharine sweet that every jaded one will feel their own hearts growing a size by the end of the show. It shows honestly, though, and I would suggest it if you like her music.

Doing other things when I could be working on my projects makes me fidgety, it makes my breath hitch a little more, and I get a little more skittish when I need to stand still.

Started building the price book and a couple new formulas I want to try that I think will be proper hits. One stumbling block has been my roommate, who was borrowing my digital scale, has lost it, so I will need to replace it to get more accurate numbers on use and volume. Overall though, it was a good experience. It made me think of more than just what but the why with some exciting introspection.

Costs are still going up, but luckily I can make things in a way that doesn’t kill the price, I feel. I still need to math it out to find out what my cost is and how to get the best profit from it.

Always some to do, but progress can be found even in lighter weeks. Hope things are going well for you.

Stay Strong.