It Stings In Blind Spots

As many of the writings have shown here, I ask a lot of questions, sometimes I get it wrong, sometimes right, but I do try. One thing I absolutely hate is zealotry for the sake of one’s side despite everything. That is different from believing it and realizing there are faults. In fact, it could be just as much as the difference between meaningful conversation and yelling at a wall.

Also, as much as I try to push myself to do better things. The past few days have been difficult because there have been many moments where I feel out of place.

It finally capped off with a conversation on Twitter about politics. While they were very passionate and we had issues with the other’s points, something was touched upon that made me think.

I have lived and around the Portland area for the better part of three decades. Politically it is not a flattering cross-section for any group. Those who backed the mayor failed in many metrics, including gun safety, homelessness, quality of life. They couldn’t stop the protests when they picked up and continued. This person was so adamant so passionate about their political beliefs being correct. While they were more open than most, they still were more emotionally wrapped in the issues.

Which made me think back to the concert. I have been so emotionally numb for fear that I don’t want something I may do or say to be used against me, especially against my goals. This is led me to think about why I am so guarded, and it came to me.

In my life, I have had my family betray me, my loved friends killed, my name besmirched, harassed by police, used as a poker chip, tossed away from a family that hated me. I have been shot at dozens of times, lit on fire on three separate occasions, countless sprains, concussions, bruises, torn tendons, pulled muscles, spasms, fibromyalgia, and that is just off the top of my head.

After all that, you get a bit jaded. I have found that in going day by day, I never really allowed myself to emotionally relax.

It stings when you know you still have growing to do, especially when you feel you made progress. Still, a mile is made of many steps, and hopefully, by the time I reach my goals, I can be a good enough person, at least to make this mudball a little better as well.

Stay strong.

Relaxing when Onions get Expensive

I got to put my hair down, so to speak, and go see a concert, a concert whose tickets I had been holding since before the pandemic. Joy. The show still had a VIP meetup but did not tell me about it because I didn’t buy it in July or September. I held on to my tickets from 2020.

Thanks, Moda Center; nothing makes me feel like I know what I am doing, like getting your people on phone calls and getting “I don’t know for 30 minutes” and no effort to help out. Makes me feel like a real wunderkind when the guy with half a properly working nervous system can do better.

Do I sound angry? Really I am not. Lindsay Stirling had a great concert, and I was close enough that the bass gave me a free back massage through my ribcage for missing the VIP meetup earlier.

Roommate couldn’t get her paperwork, so I invited a past co-worker who I knew liked it. All the while, I couldn’t shake the idea that I should be trying to look at different formulas for flavor profiles or work on my project and being in a group of people like that.

Well, to say out of place would be an understatement.

Moda center needs better food, though. Seating-wise, the front area near the stage was sold out. However, it was not a complete sell-out which is sad; Lindsay Stirling is a bright, bubbly person that is almost so saccharine sweet that every jaded one will feel their own hearts growing a size by the end of the show. It shows honestly, though, and I would suggest it if you like her music.

Doing other things when I could be working on my projects makes me fidgety, it makes my breath hitch a little more, and I get a little more skittish when I need to stand still.

Started building the price book and a couple new formulas I want to try that I think will be proper hits. One stumbling block has been my roommate, who was borrowing my digital scale, has lost it, so I will need to replace it to get more accurate numbers on use and volume. Overall though, it was a good experience. It made me think of more than just what but the why with some exciting introspection.

Costs are still going up, but luckily I can make things in a way that doesn’t kill the price, I feel. I still need to math it out to find out what my cost is and how to get the best profit from it.

Always some to do, but progress can be found even in lighter weeks. Hope things are going well for you.

Stay Strong.

Progress at Any Length

Three products were designed and worked on to the point where I can feel like selling them.

One is a salt substitute that includes some different dried mushrooms ground to powder and a pinch of white pepper. If salt does it, then this combination, after a process, brings out more flavor than ever. It takes a full day from when the mushrooms come into when I can put them in the seasoning, and that is, although time-intensive, the flavor it brings is second to none. I have done some light testing against similar products, which are not many, and honestly, I feel like mine tops the heap.

The second one is sugar and a mix of roasted vegetables, fruits, and garlic with a bit of brown sugar. Put that together, and it becomes a mix that works on anything and has a sweet, savory balance that works on meats and roasted vegetables and even some panna cotta. It does not blast other foods or seasonings you are enjoying. No matter how much you eat, it does stand up to anything I have thrown at it making it a perfect co-star in the spice cabinet.

Last is something I tripped over, taking some of the two blends and a couple of extra things and turning them into a spice rub that turned out some of the best barbecue I ever made. Three products, and right now, I cant make a whole lot. It takes at least a full day to cook them down and grind them to powders, so there is that, but I also will have a powdered soup stock as my next item to try.

I still need to find a price point that people can understand. I mean, if someone can make all your food taste good, how much would you pay for it? For restaurants, if I can provide you a flavor profile that would take you hours and take anything next level, how much?

Price points have been an issue of mine before, so it will take some time to research them. However, I have tried selling things at too cheap, and people that there was something wrong with it, and it was a price I had initially thought to be fair.

I had a meeting with a score mentor to go over some of the things I will need to find out about my products to succeed. Of course, there always seems to be things to do, but if you go to my stream and look at my banner, you will see something. A grid behind the big T and in the filled squares is something of a collage, each one representing something I have done as a streamer.

So many questions to answer, but we made it farther than we were last week, so progress is something at least.

So much to do. So little time

I love my city. My past collection of writings are kind of a tip-off to it. Unfortunately, the problem is now bigger than ever. We have a sheer flood of zealotry with some of the worst people on the city commissioner. Honestly, it seems that the different groups of people want to act like screaming children.

Blood has been shed, people have been hurt, and honestly, it hurts to see so much pain, the dirt, the homelessness. It really does hurt because there was a magic of Portland before all of this; there really was. It is just something where people have really poisoned it over time, and now it honestly feels like seeing someone I actually care about die. There is nothing I can do about it.

Luckily, cities can build again, but right now, it is so sick from top to bottom that I would need to have a herculean effort. A little luck to get the ball moving in the right direction. Hence, when people try to say some things, I tend to fire my mouth off without holstering.

If people ever call me an asshole, there is a good chance that I will nod and accept it; I have made my peace with it.

Okay, enough bitching, what is new, been filling out some formulas on spice blends and seeing what prices are previously dried, but it looks like that it would be much cheaper doing it in-house. Got a logo done as well and even thought of some fun new ways of advertising that I think will get a chuckle. Still, that is getting ahead, but if one is a fan of the old Segata Sanshiro commercials, one may like where I take it.

Also got a draft of the primary logo, filled out a more in-depth business plan, and looked for ways to make the business really shine. All of this is kind of new to me again, and hopefully, the idea maybe I can go on Indiegogo, or Kickstarter, or something like that.

I got to go to the doctor because I have been more exhausted than ever as of late. So hopefully, I can come up with a plan to fight it because I cannot sleep all the time. Always seems like there are more things to do than time in the day. I also need to fix a grinder. Oh well.

Monday Thoughts

Wrote a children’s book, illustrated it, tried to to have conversations and the world is down to being a group of screeching narwhals seemingly for no reason except screaming and it is tiring.

Starting to come up with a business plan, and starting to start up some paperwork about things to make and costing each portion out.

If you want to get the book you can do so below.

https://mrtanderson.gumroad.com/l/WGdSA

Learning the Rules of Business

I do not know how to do business.

I know how to make deals. Trading is within my wheelhouse just fine but I do not know how to take what I can do and start something new with it. Knowledge and skill just don’t fall in to the formula mentally for me to know that path.

Been listening to a few different podcasts and YouTube videos and he said a line that at least I think, taught me something important. Paul Heyman is, for those who do not know is a wrestling promoter and personality, that has done a fair amount in a lot of different places. Content, financing, and distribution are three things he deems the most important in reference to the business. He was on Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Ranch and it was just also a lesson in something else.

Until it happens, until the money is in your account, do not count on anyone honoring to their word, as he regaled those with how the pay-per-view company held more then two million dollars when they needed it and the company in charge of the ppv distribution thought it would be cheaper to handle it in court versus just paying them what had been earned from their contract.

Those three things if I can hammer out and make sure that I am not going from one paycheck to another should be a good set of things to start my future businesses. After that then the first things would be how to get money to invest into my business when for all intents and purposes I’m broke as a joke.

Always something to do. It seems no rest for the wicked, but I will stop here for now. Stay strong everyone.

Portland to Portlandia to Portlandistan

I have felt utterly defeated not only because people in this city seem to have a problem with listening. I am utterly disgusted by the city, in efforts to try and stop whatever they are trying to do with the pandemic businesses are closing down in masses, homeless camp cover the parks where they dotted them before and watching Hardesty and Wheeler speak on things of importance is like wanting to bond my soul to a bottle of bleach and the only reason the others on the city board aren’t here is they have done absolutely nothing of major importance.

Not one positive thing has come out of this collection of intellectual failures roaming around as a city council. Instead, more people are dying, less people protect them, more businesses are shuttering, and less money can be made. While some of the dumbest people are clucking about signaling they have the brightest virtues. Failing in methods makes me wonder if they are either full of malice or idiots so low on an intellectual scale that they should be removed from office.

Hardesty is emotional, but she is a fool. Her intense reliance on everything being racism with no evidence and no moral fiber is easy enough to understand. She is hunting boogeymen that are simply not there, even by the cities and her own numbers.

Wheeler. Ted Wheeler has to be one of the dumbest people to take the office of mayor. May I remind you that this was the same person who actively worked Antifa and allied groups against the proud boys. Hate them or love them, I don’t care but the proud boys are not worse then Antifa and their ilk. Which made the start of banning one and permitting the other a shocking turn. Something I even said “ would rebound badly if this civil unrest is not put under control” I was right. Some people say I wasn’t because that it hurts their feelings.

Fuck you I was right, and I hate that I was. I hate I cannot stand that me, a person with no formal political training called almost verbatim, I said 5-10 years and I sunk it closer to 10. Portland’s east side is beginning to mirror that of Chicago, and the nickname from those who live there is based off a conflict we had for years. So Chiraq being what it is, I would like the right to nickname, as I have been right more then any other person on the subject of the city, to be Portlandistan.

Also, those on Twitter claim that nothing is wrong by the city’s own numbers things are factually incorrect. Living in the whitest, hipster infested, morally bankrupt sections of the city does not meanmuch when you do not know any better. You do not count for east, northwest or even the southwest where camps have sprouted in the woods near highways. You. Are.Wrong.

What is a big problem is the following. Say you don’t like something doing their job, so someone else needs to do it or the duties need to be transferred over. You cannot just go and try to destroy the old jobholder without planning to move the duties to something else that can properly handle it. No matter what it is from the cops, the city council, or even the mental health system, one can’t just burn it down without putting in something else. If it isn’t ready, the damage trying to install a new system from scratch will pale what the system previous did.

Another thing will be coming out today on this blog about another project. So if you want to stay and keep reading, then that’s great. If you do not I understand but for my own mental health if I don’t do other things, I will need a bottle of rum and a padded room.

Brainstorming on the Police Issue

I am absolutely positive that this post will piss everyone off, but it needs to be said.

Currently the police are having a lot of issues. Some are calling for the disbanding of police department because they may need to get violent. Here is the thing I have a big problem with the police I am not a guy who says he loves the police. Full disclosure I have had police idiocy cost me something very dear and those officers specifically I got an axe to grind the size of Argentina.

There is a need that only the police can handle. We have cut back police response in Portland and we are at the lowest sized force in 23 years. Considering how gun violence has gone up and continues to go up it means we have some major problems that need to be worked out and the police are going to have to help with that because currently our Mayor is using private security and that as damning of his work as all the city commissioners, and it should because has previously noted they have failed.

How do we fix it though is the question and to do so would take a multi faceted plan to answer questions where people have an issue. First, it is to help the officers, in Portland it takes 2 years to be a full officer, and in it I would add also some study in law. I would try to restructure the training so we aren’t losing so much as upgrading in different areas and I feel a little bit of time learning the law will give them a little confidence to further add some capabilities explaining how things are in the laws they defend.

Another thing is that we need to take a look at what counts as the over bearing hard left trying not to hurt anybody’s feelings instead of solving problems style of politics needs to end. It is not working and after close to six years for Mayor Ted Wheeler and the four for Commissioner Hardesty. There is very little to show for the hundreds of thousands of dollars their paychecks have given.

Kowtowing to political groups for clout was a disgusting move as it painted the city in a corner and one it will take years to get of. Some who sympathize or claim they are a different group then antifa despite wearing the same colors, using the same tactics, and fighting the supposed same enemies is a lark.

All of this sounds like a big thing where some think I will get several american flags call myself a hardline gop and exclaim the virtue of pence.

Honestly, if you look back when BLM was getting a foothold in the city I did have some hope for them to be a positive change, and despite not liking how Antifa had started in the city with the proud boys I thought they could do good. I still think they can, but they need to change, and they need to do it.

When a large group of people throw Molotovs at a police station, set trash on fire, break windows and rob places that is a riot and at first sign it needs to be stopped no matter who it is and use the best tools to do so. I would offer two sets of tools as equal as I could make them taken from the capabilities and tactics from police around the world to do what they need to do and give them the best chance to succeed. Have the city vote. Don’t want tear gas or smoke, I have no problem then providing water cannons or dye cannons in case there were crimes done at such events.

When the city votes on set of items is being used that is it. No cutting tools out of the toolbox. Next we need to increase transparency. I would want in my hypothetical city a website ran by the city of Portland where the vest cams of officers would be posted with only being the defining details being blurred. If people want to complain they can do it from their home as well but it would be something where both sides would be heard. You would have a website where you can log in, check some video, and if they see something that the officers didn’t then there would be a line of communication where those things spotted, plans tweaked and further evolved. It provides nowhere to hide for those who are bad officers and good officers will be seen more.

Better training, a noted and understood tool set and near complete transparency. The counter point would be, crimes need to be charged, and if I found out my DA was releasing people based on political ideology I would see what could be done to either back the police who were doing their jobs, and to make sure others understood his failings weather we have to see if he had to be disbarred, whether some talk with peers above him has to be checked. In any case their would be options on the board to fix the problem either under his own power or under something greater. I say this because currently the district attorney for Multnomah County has caught a whole river full of hook kissers and let them go when normally they would be given jail time.

For those who want to just motor on from this wall of text, D.A needs to do their job, training and tooling the police would be redone, using input form the city and we are using transparency to open up communications online

Portland, We Have A Problem.

Portland has exploded in terms of gun violence. It is one of the things that has may me want to breathe fire. I will be as neutral as I can be because honestly I do not think either side is the all evil. I will say however to anyone wondering that we have had Mayors we ran themselves as Democrats for 29 years. Bud Clark was an independent and his term ended December 1992 and the last Republican mayor was Connie McCready who was a female journalist who was mayor only after someone else died, and was the mayor during the St. Helens eruption. No shade there I just found that an interesting tidbit, and it may save you during a trivia night.

Point of the whole matter, what if you in front of your screen were brought with news that your home city had gun crime that had gone up close to 300% between two years. Some may ask, what are the details, and I will further explain. What if from January 2019 to December 2020 shootings gone up three times over, and on top of that reports are just coming out that this year in a single month we have had almost a hundred shooting incident in a month.

Those are from the City of Portland’s own tally. What if from 2019, to 2020 we went from almost 400 incidents to almost 900?

Knowing we are almost at hundred in a month we can break a thousand this year, and that makes me want to take the circus dive challenge in to a barrel of alcohol strong enough I would forget my own name. This is disgraceful.

Some may then bring up that the majority is driven by the police shootings.

There are some and even some errors made by some officers but they are in the clear minority versus everything else.

We are looking at a huge increase in gun violence and here is the problem. The number one move to get away from such things is move out, great for some, but what if you cannot, what if you are stuck. Portland has few positives right now but cheap and safe ways to move out of the city is not one of them. People are going to be more apt to fight, they will brawl and more people will be shot and it will be at the feet of the city commissioners and the mayor. Not about their politics, but about execution they have failed to such a degree that all of them should refund their wages back to the city and remove themselves in shame for the failure that their tenure has been. All of them, fail after fail after fail and now there is more blood in the streets then ever.

It is not just about shelter, it is about safety, and being somewhere where some can learn good habits and now, we as a state decided that having small amounts of hard drugs is only a fine. No one can tell me how this will actually help, so if anyone will volunteer such secrets I would be appreciative. Some say they have faith they know what the politicians in this city are doing. I trust them as far as they can throw me and since I am a card carrying member of the super heavyweight division, and I actually know a little about defending being thrown that ain’t an inch.

We as a city need to do better. Our homeless, our citizens, our people deserve better. While I tried to inject some humor in places how can anyone feel safe when you know it takes twelve minutes on average for police to help you in high risk crimes like shootings when you know when every second counts.

The world will get better but it will take time.

Stay strong and stay safe.

Writer 404 Error – Venom Spitting Mad

A dozen pages, thousands of words, most of which I am being less of an educator or explainer and more of a yelling yahoo. It didn’t sound right so I did not pull the trigger and because of things going on in my city that meant I was guilty by something I hoped those reading this would not be and that is overly bound to emotion. I am glad I didn’t post what I had written it wouldn’t have helped anybody and so we continue.

Where do we go from there? Plenty of things have come up that as either changed or through the venom I was spewing in my own anger that we still have not gone over.

We may as well start with how the homeless situation has changed, and it has been changed for the worse. Section 8 the usual last bastion of hope is enough to do if you have the time, but if you are single you must realize that you are at the bottom of the list no matter what gender you are. Section 8 goes to families first and of those minorities, disabled and veterans push them up higher. I would say do the paperwork to get on the list as it does not take very long, but do not expect it to save you.

Through the new presidency the amount cut from section 8 had not been replaced and states have not been able to figure out the problem per each of their borders. Portland has gotten much worse and you can count dozens of tents on your way to work in the city. It had a major homeless problem and between the rent issue, the pay issue, the pandemic and the lack of health care, mental care or beds for those who need it, the population has led to many turning into simply living in trash heaps or small tent towns that go down inlets or sidewalks.

Commissioners of the City and of the state have failed at the problem, and it is only getting worse so as we go forward make sure to best equip yourself with the skills, tools, tips, and tricks to help yourself get out of there.

Stay Strong and Stay Calm

If you like what I do please let me know, it does put a smile on my face to know people read these. There are things I have not done to these pages and soon their will be more then just these blog posts and I hope you enjoy at least some of them.