Something I hope to look back on and see a bunch of things crossed off, and if I remember it an easy and entertaining call back at the end of the year.
Release something, now with projects going on what I have and if it may be under my name will be something different. As long as it came from me, under whatever name I use for different reasons I hope to release something like a book, program or something.
I would like to live on my own. Currently I have been living with a roommate and have been doing it long enough, I need my space.
Continue doing well in school, at this point I have had a problem in just one class and I am still on honor roll despite it.
I would like for the blog to do better, although granted to define it as off the rails from original purposes is an understatement of the greatest caliber.
Do a physical event again. Despite being disabled I feel I have been getting much better health wise especially over the last twelve months.
Get my teeth fixed. Unfortunately why my body does not use some minerals despite ingesting them, like calcium is something we are still trying to figure out. Luckily we caught it before bones went fell osteoporosis.
I want to do more on twitch, and been trying to push it further. Currently the goal is to get to 500 followers but I need to work on being more entertaining.
I would like to travel to another country finally. I have never been to another country and there are a few places on my list. I would count something out of state or going to conventions again
Start a successful business. Pretty simple as to why.
Be happier then I was last year.
If I remember this I hope to go back and see how many of these got knocked off the list.
I wanted to have this be the end-of-year post where we look back at the time and what has been done and bring some hope to the future. That is what I wanted. However, some things happen that make you feel like you got to take yourself out of whatever mood and deal with some weapons-grade stupidity.
For those who did not know, there are some problems with the D.A. of Portland. The work put forward has caused many of the city’s woes, and there have been many posts based on lousy decision-making. Things get worse for an entire year, having the area break records you do not want to break if you are in those positions, crime rate, murder rate, and gun violence are things you want to keep down.
All of this may be news to those in the offices of the city commissioners and the county district attorney. Still, I like to think it is that journalistic integrity that makes you stay, and I wrote all of that with only half of the usual sarcasm. This has to do with the D.A. specifically because I went to the county website and found the papers for the compensation or pay rates for everyone hired through them. Now, it is government, so you would expect some egregious, shocking, or brain-numbing numbers, and here is what was found.
Despite the work being a cavalcade of failure, despite it being some of the worst any D.A. has put forward in position for the county and the cost of everything up going up due to horrible financial decisions on almost every level of government. It would look bad if everyone had gotten a cost of living increase, but that would be at least understandable to a degree. Looking at the papers, you can see that it seems very much across the board there is an increase in spending.
After all, these people have to work for the government and to do it without hitting the escape hatch on life because all their work goes to very little, at least in this area. Some compensation is at least in the realm of possibility. There is one specific case thought that I would like people to look at. Now, as you can see from the pic above, the pay rates are active on July first. Looking at the difference between the two sets of paperwork, it would look really bad for someone to get a large raise, like 10% or 12 % even would be really bad.
How about a raise of almost 50%? Below is where I got the evidence, straight from the horse’s mouth
A 30k raise in the salary for some of the worst work that a D.A. has put on record. Failure so shocking it has brought down the whole county. This is someone in charge of charging people for crimes who push sentencing, and for all that was done, his office has been so soft that marshmallows look to it as a goal. A pool of water has more of a backbone than that office and the fact that with more death, more gun violence, and fewer things to charge for because now one can carry a small amount of any drug, those charges are gone. Antifa has been slapped on the wrist, often getting low bail or a misdemeanor when their records would dictate they should be in for years. Andy Ngo did a great set of explanations on that on Twitter @MrAndyNgo
Between 21-22 and 22-23, the Multnomah County D.A. has gotten a raise of almost 30k in their salary for work that would be best described as abysmal, and I wonder what they believe the reason is they earned that money.
21-22 salary table for District Attorney (D.A.) at 63k22-23 salary table for D.A. at 93K
I would like anyone to explain why that raise was a good idea, to explain it because I am lost. I would rather give that money to the waffle house employee who decided to give everyone who hopped over the counter a free sampling of hands. Most likely, she would get something done versus what we have now.
I have an idea one that you may not see in connection to this blog if I did it right. Something where I hope it will get me more to the efforts of trying new things and in doing so show people success can be had. There has been progress on goals and for that I am grateful. It just is not enough.
What do you do when things are not working, well you go to do something else and see if it is better. Cannot say it will be, but for what I hope it will be enough for me to get some supplies together because one thing that had to be pounded in my head is one cannot give if one does not have and that means this year has to be my best one yet, granted college has been good for me but it cannot last.
For this project thought it is integral I do not speak of it again until it is done. For the progress on that I am looking for there needs to be something to be removed and this experiment. I hope at the end it will be something that we can look toward as something that could possibly shed light on a question because over my writing I hemmed and hawed for so long that soon some of them would go to grade school if they had been children.
The experiment will be based on this, because what if someone who is wanting to do something has no name? My guess, is that there will be an openness that come with it and to do so while there will most likely be some imitators on the case that there is any level of success and there hopefully will be, it just is something that sometimes I do not feel proud of the progress I have done or the thing I have and it just is held for some reason so hopefully this experiment takes care of that.
What the other thing is well, I have been very angry and while trying to make it positive there is a point of rage for me that is not hot, it is cold, it is ice cold and it is not something fun for others to be around. I do need to use it though so maybe this is the way to make sure things can stay separate until maybe some of it is used up. This year was rough and I have been dealing with more then what I can handle and talking to therapists had been something that has been rather fruitless.
Even though the experiment will have some releases there should be some this next year, we shall see.
Stay strong and happy new year
Question for those who stayed, what are some things you are afraid of in your projects and some things you would like to get to?
One month to go. Well two weeks. someone forgot to schedule a post
This year has been rough in some areas and better in others and it looks like next year has some more action for all of us. I can just hope that the action is not a complete disaster in waiting and we need to move through it. Writing wise I have learned more then any year before and have done more then any, as of this post in the last game of tomes between editing and writing in all its forms there is more then 3/5 of a million words worth in thirty days. Six hundred thousand words in the term of thirty days has gotten me to learn focus. It has been all I have been working on and it has bore a lot of fruit.
Seasoning wise there is a lot that has been done in trying to find out ways to bring the best flavors to the bottle. Got some test subjects to try some things and even made some starts on a series of non fiction books that is not about foods. Formulas sharpened and the need for creation even further. Financially okay which is a lot better then some people I know and there is a plan to make things grow even further.
Writing wise a lot has been done and there has been a lot learned on the subject with it seemingly close that writing should be published. Research has been good so plenty of ideas are coming and now its just the biggest questions. One needs to build so one needs to get resources, and that seems to be where my next work is going to be coming. Taking what we have and working with people to build one needs tools and money is the greatest tool of the time.
What are some of your goals moving forward. One does not have to be for the new year it could be for something starting December, starting the day after this post goes live. Leave a comment, I would love to hear, and as always.
The city of Portland seems to read my blog because a few weeks ago I made a post that I wouldn’t write on it unless it was just something abyssal. A new high in low. It seems that it looked at my blog post, handed me a half open bottle of some hipster brew and asked me to hold it because it seems every day since then it decided to just keep digging for the grail in stupidity and I wonder here if they had focused such efforts into something good the progress that would be made.
Never ask how bad dumb a group of politicians can be. I should have known.
So, rapid fire because Portland leadership is a font of idiocy so deep that we could only approximate the bottom. One. Jo Ann Hardesty One could lead a class on morals by taking what she had done in her job as commissioner and simply going, don’t do that. Now, that would be rude, she would have had to do one thing of good. Right?
Well, after running up debt and then being sued for it and then the hit and run debacle and then the uber debacle and then being an idiot in the pandemic, and the being an idiot during the homeless issue and backing the politics that drove business in the ground, and then not pushing for punishing the D.A for not charging those who had politics similar. I mean all of these are absolutely shameful. Calling a political opponent Republican when he is not just because he has a different opinion. Now, some may see that statement and think I support Rene. I have not seen his work and right now there has to be a major amount of work done for me not to count him as an abject failure just because he wanted the position. It is the risk that comes from people failing at it for long periods and really if one could fire the commissioners since Hales then many would.
The mayor before Wheeler I used to call him as interesting as wallpaper paste, now I have to say he had to be smarter then any person in politics. That or, he was one of the luckiest because after that things went down at the speed of gravity. Where things hoped to have change is after a cycle with the main morons and people went, there is no better candidate, no one wants to run and now we are happy with this. Well, happy is not the word I would use but people have shown they are willing to look away as long as things still stay as normal.
Wheeler, the mayor, went out to protest with people he thought would be the base of the city only to find out that he was wrong. Went on pushing the ideology and backed by the movements of the D.A crime spiraled out of control, police budgets cut, and then the spiral grew wider. There will be a time where Portland has to begin to grow but the ideology of the past decade needs to be discarded for the toxic process that it has been. Not because the political party is toxic, it isn’t but because what has taken Portland has been thought to be for some moral superiority and brilliant action when morally its often disgusting under the surface and tactically its as useful as a paper seat belt.
This is not going to Brown and what she did because she caused damages as well a lot of them, but everyone thought they could stand together against Trump instead of actually working on bettering their areas. If it had been done it would be the greatest flaunting against their foes because what the president had wished when those described above hated him, could look to their city and say. We are doing it and we got it. That would be too hard they found out and did the political thing of try to get people to look away except there was no place to look without their failings on full display. It is now something where other cities and states look at, and go ‘don’t be like that’.
I wish there was some good news, but there isn’t and won’t be for a while, but everything can change and Portland will too, it just may take some time.
Back in college, for the first time, I went to the Art Institute of Portland for a double degree program of video game art and design and media art and design. Considering what I have done since then, the things I picked up definitely helped, but unfortunately, I also had to pay my way then, which led me to work full-time at a gas station between short cooking jobs. Accelerated double degree with a full-time job is the fastest way to go from a thinking human being to something short of a crash test dummy without the impact.
Then it was not about staying up all night. There was one day a week that it had to be done because transit, work, and otherwise would not allow me to sleep. I got through a year, and when I had to stay up a week to study more, it all ended with a moment when I passed out in class. The teacher, after hearing about how there was no rest between classes ( which was once a week), called my roommates to take me back home and gave me a B for the course. Despite being three years with everything, I had only made it through one. My family didn’t want to help, and my roommates thought they would bury me if, for one reason or another, something didn’t stop.
Out of all the faults, I never wanted it to be known that I did not try. Often there would even be a point where people would get nervous if their body would break down. There was never enough backup to get enough rest, and there has been more than one doctor that past sins have come due, and my body is now footing the bill for it. With things going, there is always stuff to do and not enough energy, so if someone out there is maybe realizing the things-to-do list is getting a bit big, this post is for you.
Call it the learning of someone who crashed into a lot more times. Some hints from someone who may have walked down different roads.
Find the value (in time) of what you are doing. We have all been in places where we have to do one thing after another, and the energy is just running out. There are times when you need to push on being tired and times when you will need to force yourself to rest because that will get you the greatest return. Look to what you need to and find at what point your time gets rewarded. If you need four more hours but can only muster two, you may be able to get to four, but after a certain point, the time you take for today will be taken out of tomorrow resting up.
No one can go forever. Rest is not something that is needed just for the weak. Where people often forget in trying to act tough is that even machines will need some upkeep and often have people around them to make sure things are at peak efficiency. Rest is not a weakness. It is something to make sure your time working on things is going to be as close to a hundred percent as possible.
Never stop learning. One of those fortune cookie lines that touch on something people seem to still forget. When you stop learning, you stop growing. Does not matter if you are six or sixty, powerhouse or paraplegic. The moment you stop learning about something is when you need to figure out the exit strategy. Sometimes you will find things that may not give you value right after you put in. Sometimes, you will discover new ways to act in certain situations. Learning isn’t something that will provide a direct response. After you learn, you need to give it a couple tries. Other times what you know may not work for your situation.
We will keep the pearls there for now, but I do hope this year you have made a lot of progress, and hopefully, I will see you in the next one. We still got a few posts before the year ends, though.
This blog was initially built on the idea that is going from homeless to a semi-productive member of society, there would be some things I can see that others would miss. One could even say that because of my intelligence and my experience, there are bits and details that politicians do not have or would only use in the political batoning for their own political side. Those who have read this know my politics are rather centered and may pull from both sides depending on what may be needed for specific problems to be removed or handled.
That being said, this is not against a side or a party.
Portland is spiraling into something not a lot of people want to be associated with. Stolen cars are being broken down in broad daylight. Homeless people all over, and laws that made it so there would be no problem carrying all kinds of drugs without a problem. The city commissioners went through protest after protest. Then, there was no movement when they had to rebuild from the ashes. All people who are against them have been deemed from the opposing party when they have made error after error, and the city right now is hurting to the point where no one wants to live there. Nobody wants to open a business there, and there are more taxes than in the surrounding areas.
There are so many problems that when you look at what is going on, you have to ask, where do you start? From that, I do not have an answer, and there is something that seems to be missing every day. Like the city had finally died, it feels passed on. While moments had been good, looking almost normal for small snippets, it is about what the normal is, and the normal in the city is a far shadow from what it once was. There are not enough good things coming, and a lot of the bad has been left to fester, meaning there is even more that needs to get done to bring it back. Again, it looks terrible, and there is not a lot that can be done right now without people enforcing laws and punishing those guilty. None of this is new, and if it is, look in the back posts; trust me, there is plenty to get mad about.
I haven’t written about my home city because unless it is more people not doing their jobs or people trying politically smack people only to get a riptide in the wrong direction, there just isn’t much to say. People in charge in Portland must be the most extensive collection of abject failures in politics. If any of them can look from this time and say they did a good job, I would love to hear their side because it looked like they just sat and played Genshin Impact all term.
Who knows, when things change, I will write about it, and if something is horrible, I will do that too, but right now, I really do not want to. May do some cheap and fun foods to make for later. With the cost of everything, we can all use a couple extra pennies for groceries. We shall see, though.
So for those who don’t know, I am a school senator for my community college. With everything going, it would be nice if something got easier. Then I had to hear the results from the first week and found two people past me.
Fuck.
When best efforts puts you third.
Welp. Things get hard. You gotta get harder. With everything going on, my body will be made of diamonds for the rest of my life because there is not enough time to do it while everything is still getting done as of writing this, a lot of things are already coming in, and there is little idea what to do although some projects do need to get wrapped up some time and there had been some work done in quite a few things.
People have told me that things will need to take time and that it moves slowly. For those new here, I am the same person most people think would stop breathing if I stopped doing it. Makes this infinitely more difficult because slow means good in some cases, but sometimes things need to get done. With coming back from the pandemic, from going from online only for the most part to bringing people back, there is a lot that needs to be done, and time will be something that will not be friendly.
Agreements are had when something will need to go slow, but there are times one needs to hit the gas and move before one can’t, or one will lose momentum. We cannot have that because we can only be senators for a short time, a year, which means we have to put as much into it as possible. Does anyone else feel like a clock is running too quickly about their work or your projects? Right now, it feels like there is a lot getting done, but to counter the clock is right behind me. What can be done? I wish I knew, but right now, it seems there is movement on all fronts, so in that case, we gonna run for as much as we can til the wheels fall off.
Remember, winter is coming, and that means now more than ever. If you can get extra things to eat in case the power goes out or you have a way to light your fireplace, then now is the time to get it in order. We have had some in storage here, and while you do not need a lot, make sure you have some to rely on in case things go badly.
November comes, and things change in the game of tomes. New forces want to make a name, and old ones want to re-establish why they had been around so long. I won the first time to show I could write. I won the second individual award to show that I belonged. Since then, life has gotten only more chaotic and more painful. I am a senator of the student body in my community college. Now, as it stands, I will be moving forward as the only two-time winner competing because of events in between the competitions.
The other one, who was in my house also, had not been able to continue moving forward. We have a new leader in my house, and now I am the elder. I am the person with the longest tenure. My house has never been the house that won, and now we need to be a major player more than ever. So my goal is half a million to do half a million words or edits in thirty days when it was such a problem a year ago to do a million.
The first time was to try, second was to show I belonged. Each time the past few have been a problem because there has been more that takes my energy, and last time I pushed so hard my hands cramped up and needed days of rest just to loosen. I need to beat that score by about 80,000. Now, it is a small thing in life. Still, I never really counted myself as a writer and not even a good one at times. I need to work on self-depreciation, but this is a moment where if I want to show people they can through my action, I need the victory. There are enough projects I can do, and there are enough ways to work on them. It is just about if I have enough time and energy to do it on top of everything else.
Normally my writing has not been about me, or at least efforts were made to not have to be so self-focused. This is more just my thoughts because it hurt last time to finish, but it hurt more to finish second. In the time between events editing and polishing have been a focus, but there needs to be a victory here, to be the first to three. Not because of force but to show that I am genuinely about what I say I am, another piece of advice in a time seemingly ready to spin falsehoods. I want people to look at me in competitions and take a crack if that makes them better people. To be the one that people look to in something and goes, ‘if he can, then so can I”. To do it, I need to constantly push myself. Here is something where the victory individually needs to be mine.
The goal for this event is that there needs to be 50k every three days, no missing any, and no time off for thirty days. Something that I, three years ago, would have thought to be a fool’s errand. I was close last time, I did the math, and if there was health for thirty days, I would have been brushing against it then. I have to find a way to make myself the machine I need to be to finish and then look at the plans for the next goals and see where my next steps are. That will be after this because a lot of work will need to be done.
This will not be so polished because there is doubt, and some portion is unsure if it can be done. There is no place it can stop me; it will just be me trying, and hopefully, it is enough. Afterward, the work can be done into something people can enjoy. I hope this month there is something you can go for as passionately as I go for mine, and if you do not, may I hope you find it.
Sorry for the thought vomit. I just had to get some things out. Happy Halloween, and Stay Strong
Funny thing about life. There are things where people will have disagreements, like my last post. I disagreed with Adam of Adam ruins everything, but there was respect there. Only some will agree on something, and sometimes it is better when we don’t on subjects that take some depth to really get to issues. People will learn in different ways. I may change, and others may change, but the passion for doing better drives us all on that one.
Then we have this.
For those who do not know, I am disabled. I harp on the subject a bit. First, I do not know about the issues or who is saying them all that is laid before me is how people react. Seeing that there was never a greater need to imbibe the volume of the Willamette River in bourbon than watching people specifically after the debate.
Listen, politics is the next great blood sport. People will look to their political side like they used to during the Yankees-Red Sox feud or the Cowboys- 49’ers feuds if you are familiar with Baseball or American Football. An international one would be Manchester United and Liverpool for those familiar with Euro Football or Soccer. Each of those feuds brings something where the fans are not only emotionally invested but also combative of the opposing side. In some cases can be nothing more than adding fuel to the competition, but here is the problem.
Politics is not a competition. It isn’t a game with winners and losers, and the fact that it is being looked at in that way shows some of the reasons we are having some problems. For example, among my friends from high school, there is a marine (conservative) Mormon (more conservative), Jehova’s witness (semi-conservative), and a farmer (conservative). If you asked them, they would say I am a liberal, not as an insult, I look at things differently, but we can always discuss what is on our minds and afterward find a way to come to some ground we can all agree on in majority, where some of the details we may not like. Still, the majority of the action is approved.
So, this made watching the comments from others and the article created by the New York Times (above) felt like a migraine powered by a thousand symbol-clapping monkeys. Looking back to see what had been said about both sides makes the monkeys get a stereo system. It makes it much louder because this is especially going on as of late. People are using identity as a defense, some defending Fetterman, who had just come out of a stroke, a major medical event, to a debate.
Now, this is one of two ways, either one, Fetterman had the passion for trying and continuing but did not have the way to make a showing of skills to make up for the loss of skills in the stroke, which could very well be temporary. His passion made a choice in this scenario where discretion would have been the better form of valor. He did not do well in the debate, but he made the decision thinking he could show what his strengths were.
The second way is his team backed him into it, thinking they could together show the strengths that maybe he could not on his own and take care of the public relations issues, not knowing what may come back. Now, in this case, one can look to the media giving the sudden disability tag and trying to make it an identity case when legitimate points are brought up.
Looking at the kind of pieces written about from both sides, it is clear that disability is being used as a defense for a bad situation, so let me say this to groups like the New York Times or anyone else who think taking it suddenly when things go bad. The identitarian political clubbing that causes people to reach for disabled, black, jew, and more like they were weapons in an arena is sickening and cheapens the experiences and problems we have gone through. It degrades the experiences the people have had and sows discord for those when people honestly want to use what experiences they have accrued to the service of the group, whether in politics or in specific teams. So, for those who think this is okay, where one can be black or disabled to get a couple extra points in something because you feel a lead slipping away. Let me say this.
Screw You.
Screw your paper, screw your reporting, screw this identitarian clubbing, screw the political bloodsport, screw it all with a drill deep enough that it can be driven into the ground and out of sight like some moral version of the elephant’s foot in Chernobyl, where people only remember it knowing what disaster we caused and look to it to make sure we never do it again. The only reason the disabled tag was taken by those is there was a hope it would be used to gain favor and defenders in the light of a bad showing. Not taking into account the people who can’t get disability payments because they are trying to still make something out of themselves, not those who died with the last knowledge they had that the supposed nets for them did not want to pay out. Not taking into account that being disabled seems to be dictated by political leaning as well nowadays. Taking a title of a group of people with enough problems, and no one in politics seems to want to give them answers or at least a hand, makes me want to ask exactly who thought it was a great idea.
Screw you for those who died with nothing, only for a case to be paid to their next of kin. Screw you for those who work themselves, knowing doing so at paces they need to without help will drop the axe on their finances. This is me angry about it because this has no reason. It was the move of someone trying to paint a picture that had no right existing.
Not to Fetterman or his team or both. If they were in agreement, they made a decision, but it didn’t work. Come back stronger and the best of health to Mr. Fetterman. No idea what your politics are about or even if I agree with a single point. We get stronger when we defend our points and grow in the weaknesses they present.
BigTAnderson in Portland 