All for the Sake of Power

For all the people trying to help other groups or go to bat for all the supposed slights against their group, one thing that could be done right now and people would actually have to see that Portland is about trying to help people. We have a group of people that are still struggling to get the benefits that should be given to them and often have few or no people to help get them what they are due. Disabled people, across the board, have had to deal with a system that actively pushes them away for the sake of wanting to keep payouts low. This should be a simple thing where we take evidence of the disability and see if it matches what is needed. Make sure one has the evidence to back it up, check the validity of the evidence, and if all that checks out make sure they get benefits to help out. For some reason or another, there just is a time of struggle for anyone trying to get some money in a situation where it seems like the world is against them. 

If you try to make the most of your life despite meeting the disability there is a good chance that you will be denied for years upon years. Each attempt for it failing meant another couple of years before the next appeal. Depending on their health it could very well mean that they will not be able to survive, or that they will be in much worse health because the money that should be there would be something that would allow them to keep some semblance of a quality of life. Some people may not be happy about the disability program thinking it is a quick road to ill-gotten gains and if you had thought this then you never had to go get it because when talking with people who are trying it is more shocking to hear people getting it first try and less shocking that people would wait for ten years just to get some form of pittance.

Pittance by the way is exactly as it should be because remember, this is for the people who can not work gainfully, either full or part-time to earn enough money to live a basic life. According to the census to be counted as under the poverty line one has to earn 12,880 dollars in most of theU.S with D.C, Hawaii, and Alaska. We will work from the lower number for the sake of ease and skewing it against our own side to the point to try and attempt some fair discussion. 12 thousand dollars is a lot in one time but splitting that up times the 12 months means you are now working with just over a thousand dollars but the max one can get specifically for those who have been in low pay work is generally around 800 dollars. 

You could work for ten years and have some maladious effect on your health and you still would not be able to survive on what you get. On top of that if you want to make things so that you find a way to skrimp and save you cannot have more than 2000 dollars in an account to work with. That makes it nearly impossible for people to move or do anything of value when you have to make sure that when you do it you have to make sure you will never need it again, and by the way, this does not include stuff like tax refunds or anything like that. Disability is not set or used as a hand up because there are disabled people if they could be given a way to at least get the resources they have qualified for they would be more open to trying to work or do things to help their communities. 

All of this is based on the ruling of judges who do not care to try for the most part and no punishment or party is keeping them in check. If your judge cannot read, that’s on you, if your judge cannot spell, that’s on you. If your judge just hates disabled people and gets a boner only from making people so miserable that for many there is no response, then find out where they live, send them glitter in the mail and stuff enough fruit up every tailpipe that every car can be called a fruit salad. That is also on you, though. Also, because I know some people may not be able to read the last line and understand the tone, that was done in a joking manner. 

Still, it sucks and it needs work and for a lot of people, there isn’t any hope. Really makes you wonder why more disabled people just haven’t gone full supervillain, wouldn’t shock me a bit. How much would one be able to take before feeling that the world is against them with enough moments to hammer it home.

Stay strong.

JoAnn Needs S.O.S For Re-Election

Jo Ann Hardesty is running for re-election, and upon realizing that, I needed a handle of cheap whiskey and several new and amazing drugs to try. I would revert my brain to whatever hormonal beast I was in puberty. If it means the city commissioners currently in office would all go sod off into the sunset. My preference would be the sunset on mars to get that extra bit of distance.

So, some people may actually think she has done a good job. These people are either in the areas that are so bound to sniff their own backside. (looking at you pearl) Or the pieces of the city so gentrified that even the homeless get food from Starbucks. The rest of the city is one great big sweltering nugget of refuse. Fewer businesses are open, more people getting killed, less money is being made, more people are living in the streets, schools are doing worse (remember Oregon made it so now guidelines for things like literacy and math are not needed for a diploma). The amount of hope I have is that this group or someone else is going to screw it up. Before people start mocking them until they run away and hide underneath useless jobs.

Three years is enough to get something positive done, and while there was a pandemic, I am done with letting morons get a free ride. In three years there should be at least one single positive thing that she has done and while comments can be found. The problem is that nothing has changed for the better. I would say that it is more of a shock because one would think that due to someone’s efforts, and by the laws of probability that something would get better. To fail so perfectly is actually harder to do, than every once in a while accidentally tripping over a positive change. No, getting funding is not a positive effect. It’s like setting a sandwich bar with enough tomatoes if you don’t make sandwiches. If you do not execute on the goals then you can be setting it up and still fail. This will tell me how Portland is going and I cannot see it going anywhere good if she gets re-elected, she has shown to be ill-equipped, moronic, and cannot handle the duties of her position. Also, the funny part is everyone going to racism or sexism against the detractors or trolls. What color her skin is, or what genitals she has does not add, detract, or change anything to the foolishness she has filled her years on the board with. I do not care who she is, I care about her work, and her work stinks. If someone cannot understand that, then they need to take a look in the mirror because the ideological tug of war has gotten me tired and this intersectional spew does little to the people trying to make progress on their own efforts and ideas.

My own opinion on how to handle it has been changing for anyone who sees me on Twitter and if anyone has been part of the camp that believes I will calm down in my later years of life, I have some bad news. It still has not happened and for the most that can be done, it does not look like it ever will be happening. As you can see by my additions I add a touch of humor in everything because if one cannot laugh at oneself then I fear life would be very dark at times.

Homeless in Portland

Portland has an issue with the homeless situation and one of the biggest questions is how can we fix it?

To see how we got here we need to realize a few things, one is something people have been wanting to do and that is who is to blame for this whole affair and three parties once can look at Portland’s problems and all of them will lead to something that the citizens will not like to hear. Those three parties are the city council and all the people who had been on it since Wheeler got into office filling in for Hales when he left. Hales leaving by the way has got to be the biggest dodge this side of the matrix because if he knew it or not this cannot be tied so much to him.


Every city commissioner whether they were on before or came on after has to look at the major portion of the blame because for all the power and privilege they could not get any less done without a plan. Jo-ann Hardesty who ran on a campaign against the homeless boulder project trying to craft herself as their champion has shown to be one of the biggest failures to her position in recent memory from how she has bungled the riots with the rest, how she has not been able to get the educational capabilities up to the quality and despite asking for more power she has not been able to handle her normal business in position.


Ted Wheeler, is someone that I thought had to be trying to burn the city down, but since those moments years ago. I wish I could say his quality has also gone up but that would be a bit of a stretch by most standards and even his most ardent defenders have so little to stand on that any time dealing with them online would bring memories of screaming children as both would have no idea what the situation would entail and is just mad because they are on the wrong side of the emotional exchange. Let me say it clearly, I do not think the mayor of Portland is doing this out of spite. I think from his actions in an office he is either very emotional or very stupid and while not pure malice can sometimes look like it at times. His time dealing with the riots as they began, the attack on Andy Ngo, the clash of pro-trump and Antifa groups, the pandemic, the riots, and the side effects have been nothing but a complete failure and one where he still got re-election because the only other person running ran on a campaign dubbing herself the Antifa mayor, from the same group of people that the group never existed and it was just an idea.
So we have the city commissioners and two of the greatest hits among them, but we also need to look at the Multnomah County District Attorney Mike Schmidt whose work about trying to make the justice system fair has led to the most murders in recent history, the most gun violence in recent history, the most assaults n recent history and is such a rampaging buffoon I honestly think that Hitomi Tanaka or any other busty porn star with six weeks of training and an effort to do a good job will do better, and just for the record Hitomi Tanaka does not have a law degree either. Mike Schmidt will go down as the worst amongst everyone who has committed to the position and save for people trying to outclass his glittering capstone in the processes of legal failures upon a community I doubt it will ever be overcome. Under him, there has been a loss of prosecutors that Portland has ranked in the bottom third of prosecutors per 100,000 people according to KATU.

https://katu.com/news/katu-investigates/portland-multnomah-county-playing-catch-up-reducing-violence-da-says

Few people would like to talk about how the police are just blaming without remembering one thing. In the setup, we have as of this writing and the one that has been used for the past decade or so the last word on the police department is the mayor. We have also lost enough police officers that even the Daily Mail is picking up the story and even did an article six months ago expounding upon it.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10186699/Portland-PD-788-cops-lowest-number-1989-amid-violent-crime-surge.html

On top of these two parties in Portland’s power structure being as useful as a wet fart in a toilet paper shortage, we have to move on up to the governor of the state who could be outclassed by several things one may work within a day like a cheese sandwich, a pencil, the previously mentioned wet fart, and that is to name a few. Kate Brown could only be called a success if her goals were to destroy education, raise suffering and actively try to make everyone less skilled and more miserable. In that metric, she has actually done a half-decent job.

Now the most painful part, all of these people have been elected and the city commissioners including Wheeler have not one election but two. That means the people say their work and thought they are good for the ob and that makes me wonder. Do people know what these people do? Kate Brown has been in since 2015, JoAnn Hardesty since 2019, Schmidt was placed in after the previous DA retired, and Wheeler since 2017 after the previous mayor retired and then won his own election.


Mind you some may take all this and see all the democrats and think I am anti-democrat, I am not. I am however very much anti idiot and both of the big parties are filled with zealotry that their own beliefs are the proper ones. Let me explain, no, the party line is not the code to live one’s life Further away from that there is some issue in the citizens that people in some portion want to support all manner of action as long as it makes them feel good in the short term. This will wreak havoc in the long term and while some see that we have to get away from the soft feel-good way of voting and people need to spend a little time to figure out what needs to be done to go from where we are to where we want to be. Otherwise, the people we will have to blame the most for this are ourselves and while I have been trying through various things among everything else and I am doing more about it now.

I think it is clear that we need to get a better quality of the person in the office and we need to realize as citizens that doing something good sometimes will not be easy.

Things that would be more effective in office than the politicians and day listed above.

Offensive Interference

When reality decides to interfere it can feel like you had all momentum stopped and then all you can do is look at where you are and see what stopped you and grit your teeth wondering that some foolish person or thing could not tell when you had been working on something and decided to throw the spanner in the works. It means a lot when you looked at what you had and something comes out of the blue taking away what you did and now you have a project where you have to get the energy to push the boulder up the hill all in the hopes of bringing your project to completion.

You will feel aggravated, angry, furious and there is a point where you may want to use your emotions and simply blow up at everyone who is causing you problems when you have that moment it will be hard to take that emotional energy and instead of using it and cause more negative you put it towards something.

Take a moment and get your beath and then get yourself back to work and use all the venom and vigor from whatever happened and try to make something happen with it. Sometimes this means you just need to tell people to turn tail and pound sand until the deserts are empty. There are moments where such things are all you can do and keep the momentum but it does feel good when you take that pain or anger for anything and you put it in your project.

For me, I had issues with my roommate that took me to use the patience of several saints and not go bonkers when everyone wants to seemingly act like screaming turkeys. When one person in a group has to be the adult or even the human of a group during a situation like that for any period of time.

Breaking down what she had come down from whatever she was on and there had been a conversation that I could not use what little energy I had left trying to go through some of the incidents she had with her friends and others around her and I could not fix things when she decided to fly off the handle. This has been a situation that had been getting progressively worse over the past few months and while I tried to play ball there was so much still to do that I had to look at myself and realize I need to focus on myself more than others because I cannot let people take the majority of my energy and care.

Something else I had learned is no matter what you want to do you have to realize that loyalty is like a precious resource and when people invest it into you. You should invest it in return but when people decide you can’t invest in them you really need to take that time and energy and return it to investing it in yourself.

That means that we have some things coming and obviously I need to move so with that I hope I can find somewhere that is more secure to work on my stuff, but overall progress is progress so I will take it.

Stay Strong.

Working on things

College classes are rough right now so far so good though and right now just trying to get set up for the long term and getting everything to do such things is often the hardest part, it isn’t the classes and the homework then you have to deal with the funding unless you can get it all paid at the start for something and if you do then great but it is something that really takes some time especially when you have something to cover it.

As it stands everything loves to waste time when it needs to pay and when I have to pay it needs to be done at light speed. I find it funny when people expect one and the other in reference to that, It will not matter though as in the long term it just means someone needs their arm bent by paperwork. Nothing says complete hopelessness like someone who is either lazy or does not want to help you and still has to do it or risk the consequences. I would prefer just getting it done but sometimes one needs to bring out the vinegar to get some flies.

So writing-wise the light edits are doing well at least and most of my work is almost done with the first round and the product afterward with the books that I find is the best way for me to continue moving forward. There seems to be something where I want to do something by a certain point in time and then I look at the product and go…

“I can polish it up a little more.”

Then it goes into the polish file where the whole thing seemingly waits until the half-life of Jupiter before I either give up or yell “screw it” and finish it. That is something that I have had to learn to work myself out of, but in this facet as long as I am happy with it that is really the point to move forward so please be patient. I know it may seem strange even going so far as labels and specific projects. How a single color looks on a label may be something some people do not even look at for more than a fraction of a second, but it is important.


That is why I havent done some recipes because after I would cook I will take a picture and think it could be done better next time. One of those problems I would just need to work on I guess.
Stay strong.

Unfashionably Late

I had plans to get something out talking about the progress on projects and about how it all was building to seemingly more and more and it was going to be very warm and fuzzy. Except for those why may know the history of this blog may remember that this was originally established when due to family issues I was forced out with very little notice.

Then the plan was to do a pat on the back because despite learning of the homeless situation and learning what has built into it, there really wasn’t much to crow about. I was right. There are problems and people really dragged their heels to work on it. I will however still post this gif because some people really wanted to argue about how right I was.

Sometimes it does help when some people actually listen to what is being said.

With that out of the way now we have some issues, I have been trying to stay away from the homeless situation to some degree because I am no longer homeless, except something that has been sticking in my craw has come to be a full-blown annoyance and I feel I have to write about it here and that is I would expect someone from the portland scene to write about the situation and nothing has been done of it since then. I did not want to be the loudest voice trying to talk about my home city on this subject but it has been two full years since I wrote more in-depth on it and I feel that I need to again, especially with how the city has failed its citizens both in housing and not.

I am not going to say that I will be doing so many articles a day but there are some things I think need to be looked at and my place is as good as any. On top of all that it seems that no one really wants to talk about how the problem will need to be handled for the sake of as many people as possible. Right now, what I am worried about is a group of people in Portland trying to make decisions quickly to make up for years of inactivity and going too far on it making their efforts that much of complete failure.

Does this mean that I am stopping anything? Nope, in fact, provided I can get my list of smaller things done I will see how people can just be subbed to that as it seems some of you really like to hear about that subject.

You know the drill, stay strong.

Where Am I?

My this week was rough, but we are getting stuff done. Got some food for the recipes so provided I don’t get hit with the black plague or poisoned I should be able to get some of that in the coming weeks.

Grants for the business are in and if things go well I can get some help to get everything in order. Which leads me to the new page about Golden Spangle food, as time goes on that will be the first base for buying the products, currently it is just a logo. Things are falling in place for the business on the Indiegogo and I am looking at some things for the labels right now. Business class has been great in finding things that could be done to make the opening process easier.

Health wise has been a problem because I have through work gotten myself a bronchial infection and right now I am just trying to get as much done as I can while trying not to burn myself out. Being sick can really hammer your energy and doctors have given me notes to go back when at least the worst of it is done. Still, there seems to be more stuff do at every turn and then the projects currently not on the top of the docket still need some time and love so that is going to be fun soon.

Writing wise we had a bit of a setback as the heavy edits were not up to snuff so I sent all my writing back to rough draft and now we are pushing them through again starting with light edits to get that done a little better that way we can really polish it through heavy. We have been able to employ a few programs to help make that a little less painless and while it doesnt catch everything it gets majority out of the way.

College wise it has been draining but so far we are doing well and it has been good enough that we can prove to Vocational Rehab and get them to pay the rest. This semester had been a bit of a prove it where they had to see if I could be a full time student before getting the chance of doing all of this in stone and it is looking good so far. When all of this is done I hope there will be a lot at the end of this year that will be able to look at and say that much less to go.

Instagram I would hope to be at 200 followers but maybe I just dont do enough punchy stuff to get people interested. It happens, maybe they would join later. I am getting close to 400 on twitch and that is amazing to me so I got to figure something else with that.

Actually as I write this, I hit 400 so now we plan something cool and start aiming for 500, progress happens when you may not expect it sometimes.

This makes

Thanks for joining me so far and of course

Stay Strong

One and Two. What to do?

First, I have noticed you.

Believe it or not I do read at what posts are doing well and how people react and come to these things, and I see you like my rando recipes as well so when I get the issues with my new phone I will try to take some time and put a couple more on here because with the seasoning blends it is going to be done anyway and just things that are fun to make will be something where you can look. I did play around with the camera and it is something I feel I can work with. I may do a couple recipes with my seasoning blends as well but if you do not have it it will have the steps for a good meal nonetheless

As this is going out I am actually doing my first shift followed by a college class in many a year, and it did not work out last time. Last time this happened I was so drained, and this was before the nerve damage mind you, that I had passed out for three days after staying up a week straight so there are going to be problems, but we may be able to work our way through.

Second, and the meat of the matter. When things go bad, there is a lot of ear in the world, people in power seem to be in a race no matter what party they represent to the bottom of respectability, and during all this when things are bad I remember a line, one that made me do a lot of the stuff I have done. A line that has been instrumental in my own paperwork stepping in.

Why I train. Why I write. Why time after time to punch walls it seems with little improvement on a task. Why do I keep trying.

If you want something done right, you cannot blame state, country, family or circumstance. If you want something done right, you need to do it yourself. This does not mean not to take help, it means you cannot let anyone else drive to the goal because often times they will not have the investment to your goal that you do, and people will often disappoint with their decisions. It is why I have a certain line on my whiteboard. Good or bad, whatever life throws at me I have to work with it and if I can’t that is one me.

Sometimes, I have not been great at this, sometimes I have needed a hard lesson. Not saying I am good at it, I am stating I am trying though. Any who this one is going to be short, but if there are things you need to learn or keep in mind sometimes people will fail. That does not mean you are bad at it it means you are learning it and how it applies in different situations. Give yourself a break sometimes and do all you can to keep your eyes on the prize whether you are learning that through the great resignation or just through some things. The times be a changing and a lot of people are sitting on their rump so a lot of people need to get in the game, and as DJ Professor K said “

“The game is gonna start soon, and ya’ll gonna be making the plays.”

Things will get worse in some cases and it will be up to the individual to try and make things better and through the efforts of many individuals there is a chance.

Stay Strong and see you next time.

My Whiteboard

I have a whiteboard on my wall behind me and on it you may see some notes on certain things when it comes to certain things and if you watch me twitch you may see it on cam over my right shoulder. There are always some notes on it and sometimes it could be just to keep some things straight with actions moving forward, it could be deadlines that need to be dealt with or even things that needed to be wrapped up.

So on my whiteboard, I have a few things. One of them is the number 80 in red and blue markers for the fallen goalie of the Columbus Blue Jackets, I read his story and found him very brave, and for whatever it is worth to think on what he did when it was needed most. It helps me keep my head on straight even if things are bad and for those who do not know. He had been at a party with the other team members and the fireworks had been set off accidentally so one goalie jumped and blocked the fireworks and took a direct hit to the chest while the other goalie was protecting his family and wondered why he didn’t feel anything until he looked to see his co-worker, his friend at this point, take the hit.

Bravery like that is something to be remembered so his number was 80 and that is why it is on my board. Then there is the odd note to the music project that I did not forget, or do something to keep my writing and editing straight, and then there is a set of three lines that unless you knew of from pro wrestling, it may just fly over your head.

Control your narrative. When it comes to stories someone in pro wrestling made something where even if you are not a fan then you can at least learn from it as a storyteller. EC3 as he is known as done a magnificent job of breaking down both the character and the person and how they all work towards a purpose. I think if anyone wants to better themselves or make themselves better by boiling down what makes them work take a look at controlling your narrative.

Outside of two notes, there are three phrases where I look up and sometimes to be reminded for various reasons. One is ‘people will disappoint you’ and while that is not as positive as some hope it is there to remind me that people will not always do as they say they will, and it can be painful to deal with it, but it is something that has to be dealt with if you try to do anything in life. Another one comes from the show Peaky Blinders ‘No rest for me in this world, maybe in the next’ is something that reminds me to go all out, and do what I can, not to overdo it and leave myself broken and drained because I have had to learn that lesson by experience. What it is is never leave anything in the tank but do it in a way where I can do it again tomorrow. I have stated it before and will state it again that there is a limit to going all out and it all depends on how much you need to heal up for the next one.

Also, as a side note I have filled out an application for the state representative for my ward but I have found that to do it as an independent I need to do it a different way. So still doing it I just had to redo the paperwork, which is good because I still have plenty of time to do it. The Indiegogo I wanted to have open by end of the month but right now it is a money thing and currently, we are helping someone and they said they would put some money in for rent and haven’t in two months so it is getting close to pay or bail mode for them. I need to get some smaller containers and get some things printed out for that but we are making progress slowly but surely. Also, I need to learn how to program for another project.

^^;; I need a time machine
In any case, you know it.
Stay Strong.

Bad Days and Good Days

Bad days always make me grit my teeth as it seems they happen more and more. But, when your body seems to be falling shorter every day, there will always be good days and wrong and how you feel from one to the other.

When it is a bad day, it seems you are always a step back, on the back foot, and nothing can be done except getting as much done as you can and sleeping at the first opportunity. You can do a lot these days, and it just stinks sometimes. Pain is something that will always be there, and you could feel out of gas before you get out of the front door. Nothing feels worse than feeling less than your best, and things seem like you could do it, but you are not all there.

The day goes on, and you grind out what can be done, and all it leaves you is more tired with little done but a lot of trying. Nothing makes you feel so weak when your body feels like it is betraying you despite the best of your intentions until you finally fall over swearing at whatever gods are listening that you have to deal with such suffering, all for the sake of growing migraines. On top of all that, anything sticking in your craw when it comes to social relationships.

Bad days are like trying to stand up, and it isn’t the world against you. It is your body actively trying to fight your efforts, and it feels like gears grinding against gears. There is no workflow. There is no energy, and everything you try to push up only gets you to from waking up to going back to sleep without enough to make you happy in your days.

Now, if you could not guess, I am not very happy most days. If I did a hundred squats, I would want double. If I could lift a quarter ton, I want to lift half. If I have ten hours of energy, then I want fourteen.

However, when a good day comes, it feels different. For me, it is standing in a storm with winds whipping about around just an area for two parties to handle their differences in as physical a manner as they see fit. Just the winds blow, and the rains fall, and there is a crack of lightning and thunder, and it just feels like it is correct. Look across the area, and it is whatever is in your way, and all you have is the time and the moment to handle your business, and know that one of you will be left standing.

That is a good day that no matter me walking with a cane, I can take a breath and smell the lightning and feel the tremors and lock on target. It is just running and having a moment where it feels like that makes me dangerous. It makes me feel just for a moment like nothing wrong ever happened because I can take it all out on my targets. Good days are rare, but they feel good when they happen.

What are your good days and bad days like? Comment below.

Stay Strong.