Banging My Head Against A Wall

Drying things yourself will be interesting. The items last much longer and are much easier to pulverize to powder. The problem is drying removes water which, takes away a lot of mass which means I will need more of it.

The good news is that it holds very well after being bagged up. Drying such things makes it valid for items like ramen packs, another source for a product line. If I can make a good pack in America, it could sell well.

When I can get a smoker that works for a smaller amount by cold smoking, I will work on it. Right now, I have a smoker grill, but it would be difficult to use it for smaller amounts. I wonder how that will work. In any case, maybe there is another way to get the smoking effect I am looking for.

Doing more research on who might be against me in sales is the Oregon Spice Company, which seems to only work with businesses. Through my searches in stores (when I could), I could not find any products they sold, which means they would only be competing on the business-to-business scale.

Then there was an issue that came from my family. I found out that my mother had died. The first thing that had been from that was actually a disappointment. A portion of my family had used her. Through previous visits, rare they may be, that she was not getting better care, and her own doctors and physical therapists have said just as much.

My sister would use everyone to make her own life better and emotionally manipulate all to do so. She was someone who made the deal to get our mother out of my care and under her own. Through my visits, the care she had brought and been much worse than under my supervision, and I knew it, and my mother knew it as well.

If all these people knew it, if the rest of the family understood what that meant, why didn’t they try and make an effort to give better care? Well, my father, who had the house, gave up. My sister was lazy and thought smoking was the better idea to while away her time. My sister’s husband, who lived with them, did his best but found caring for two kids and an elder and trying to clean up the house while doing his work, which was too much for him.

My brother couldn’t stand to be around them and their egotistical ways. My father couldn’t deal with the problems and just gave up and walked back into his room and his games and gave up all other goals or dreams and letting my sister run the show for the most part.

Dealing with her passing is like banging ahead in the well, like my father, her ex-husband, after a 20-year marriage. My sister is in charge of the funeral and her paperwork. She has already botched it enough times the extended family had to call her out. It has been disappointing, but I plan to focus on my goals and hope the family can clear their shit out.

Progress at Any Length

Three products were designed and worked on to the point where I can feel like selling them.

One is a salt substitute that includes some different dried mushrooms ground to powder and a pinch of white pepper. If salt does it, then this combination, after a process, brings out more flavor than ever. It takes a full day from when the mushrooms come into when I can put them in the seasoning, and that is, although time-intensive, the flavor it brings is second to none. I have done some light testing against similar products, which are not many, and honestly, I feel like mine tops the heap.

The second one is sugar and a mix of roasted vegetables, fruits, and garlic with a bit of brown sugar. Put that together, and it becomes a mix that works on anything and has a sweet, savory balance that works on meats and roasted vegetables and even some panna cotta. It does not blast other foods or seasonings you are enjoying. No matter how much you eat, it does stand up to anything I have thrown at it making it a perfect co-star in the spice cabinet.

Last is something I tripped over, taking some of the two blends and a couple of extra things and turning them into a spice rub that turned out some of the best barbecue I ever made. Three products, and right now, I cant make a whole lot. It takes at least a full day to cook them down and grind them to powders, so there is that, but I also will have a powdered soup stock as my next item to try.

I still need to find a price point that people can understand. I mean, if someone can make all your food taste good, how much would you pay for it? For restaurants, if I can provide you a flavor profile that would take you hours and take anything next level, how much?

Price points have been an issue of mine before, so it will take some time to research them. However, I have tried selling things at too cheap, and people that there was something wrong with it, and it was a price I had initially thought to be fair.

I had a meeting with a score mentor to go over some of the things I will need to find out about my products to succeed. Of course, there always seems to be things to do, but if you go to my stream and look at my banner, you will see something. A grid behind the big T and in the filled squares is something of a collage, each one representing something I have done as a streamer.

So many questions to answer, but we made it farther than we were last week, so progress is something at least.

So much to do. So little time

I love my city. My past collection of writings are kind of a tip-off to it. Unfortunately, the problem is now bigger than ever. We have a sheer flood of zealotry with some of the worst people on the city commissioner. Honestly, it seems that the different groups of people want to act like screaming children.

Blood has been shed, people have been hurt, and honestly, it hurts to see so much pain, the dirt, the homelessness. It really does hurt because there was a magic of Portland before all of this; there really was. It is just something where people have really poisoned it over time, and now it honestly feels like seeing someone I actually care about die. There is nothing I can do about it.

Luckily, cities can build again, but right now, it is so sick from top to bottom that I would need to have a herculean effort. A little luck to get the ball moving in the right direction. Hence, when people try to say some things, I tend to fire my mouth off without holstering.

If people ever call me an asshole, there is a good chance that I will nod and accept it; I have made my peace with it.

Okay, enough bitching, what is new, been filling out some formulas on spice blends and seeing what prices are previously dried, but it looks like that it would be much cheaper doing it in-house. Got a logo done as well and even thought of some fun new ways of advertising that I think will get a chuckle. Still, that is getting ahead, but if one is a fan of the old Segata Sanshiro commercials, one may like where I take it.

Also got a draft of the primary logo, filled out a more in-depth business plan, and looked for ways to make the business really shine. All of this is kind of new to me again, and hopefully, the idea maybe I can go on Indiegogo, or Kickstarter, or something like that.

I got to go to the doctor because I have been more exhausted than ever as of late. So hopefully, I can come up with a plan to fight it because I cannot sleep all the time. Always seems like there are more things to do than time in the day. I also need to fix a grinder. Oh well.

Brainstorming on the Police Issue

I am absolutely positive that this post will piss everyone off, but it needs to be said.

Currently the police are having a lot of issues. Some are calling for the disbanding of police department because they may need to get violent. Here is the thing I have a big problem with the police I am not a guy who says he loves the police. Full disclosure I have had police idiocy cost me something very dear and those officers specifically I got an axe to grind the size of Argentina.

There is a need that only the police can handle. We have cut back police response in Portland and we are at the lowest sized force in 23 years. Considering how gun violence has gone up and continues to go up it means we have some major problems that need to be worked out and the police are going to have to help with that because currently our Mayor is using private security and that as damning of his work as all the city commissioners, and it should because has previously noted they have failed.

How do we fix it though is the question and to do so would take a multi faceted plan to answer questions where people have an issue. First, it is to help the officers, in Portland it takes 2 years to be a full officer, and in it I would add also some study in law. I would try to restructure the training so we aren’t losing so much as upgrading in different areas and I feel a little bit of time learning the law will give them a little confidence to further add some capabilities explaining how things are in the laws they defend.

Another thing is that we need to take a look at what counts as the over bearing hard left trying not to hurt anybody’s feelings instead of solving problems style of politics needs to end. It is not working and after close to six years for Mayor Ted Wheeler and the four for Commissioner Hardesty. There is very little to show for the hundreds of thousands of dollars their paychecks have given.

Kowtowing to political groups for clout was a disgusting move as it painted the city in a corner and one it will take years to get of. Some who sympathize or claim they are a different group then antifa despite wearing the same colors, using the same tactics, and fighting the supposed same enemies is a lark.

All of this sounds like a big thing where some think I will get several american flags call myself a hardline gop and exclaim the virtue of pence.

Honestly, if you look back when BLM was getting a foothold in the city I did have some hope for them to be a positive change, and despite not liking how Antifa had started in the city with the proud boys I thought they could do good. I still think they can, but they need to change, and they need to do it.

When a large group of people throw Molotovs at a police station, set trash on fire, break windows and rob places that is a riot and at first sign it needs to be stopped no matter who it is and use the best tools to do so. I would offer two sets of tools as equal as I could make them taken from the capabilities and tactics from police around the world to do what they need to do and give them the best chance to succeed. Have the city vote. Don’t want tear gas or smoke, I have no problem then providing water cannons or dye cannons in case there were crimes done at such events.

When the city votes on set of items is being used that is it. No cutting tools out of the toolbox. Next we need to increase transparency. I would want in my hypothetical city a website ran by the city of Portland where the vest cams of officers would be posted with only being the defining details being blurred. If people want to complain they can do it from their home as well but it would be something where both sides would be heard. You would have a website where you can log in, check some video, and if they see something that the officers didn’t then there would be a line of communication where those things spotted, plans tweaked and further evolved. It provides nowhere to hide for those who are bad officers and good officers will be seen more.

Better training, a noted and understood tool set and near complete transparency. The counter point would be, crimes need to be charged, and if I found out my DA was releasing people based on political ideology I would see what could be done to either back the police who were doing their jobs, and to make sure others understood his failings weather we have to see if he had to be disbarred, whether some talk with peers above him has to be checked. In any case their would be options on the board to fix the problem either under his own power or under something greater. I say this because currently the district attorney for Multnomah County has caught a whole river full of hook kissers and let them go when normally they would be given jail time.

For those who want to just motor on from this wall of text, D.A needs to do their job, training and tooling the police would be redone, using input form the city and we are using transparency to open up communications online

Portland, We Have A Problem.

Portland has exploded in terms of gun violence. It is one of the things that has may me want to breathe fire. I will be as neutral as I can be because honestly I do not think either side is the all evil. I will say however to anyone wondering that we have had Mayors we ran themselves as Democrats for 29 years. Bud Clark was an independent and his term ended December 1992 and the last Republican mayor was Connie McCready who was a female journalist who was mayor only after someone else died, and was the mayor during the St. Helens eruption. No shade there I just found that an interesting tidbit, and it may save you during a trivia night.

Point of the whole matter, what if you in front of your screen were brought with news that your home city had gun crime that had gone up close to 300% between two years. Some may ask, what are the details, and I will further explain. What if from January 2019 to December 2020 shootings gone up three times over, and on top of that reports are just coming out that this year in a single month we have had almost a hundred shooting incident in a month.

Those are from the City of Portland’s own tally. What if from 2019, to 2020 we went from almost 400 incidents to almost 900?

Knowing we are almost at hundred in a month we can break a thousand this year, and that makes me want to take the circus dive challenge in to a barrel of alcohol strong enough I would forget my own name. This is disgraceful.

Some may then bring up that the majority is driven by the police shootings.

There are some and even some errors made by some officers but they are in the clear minority versus everything else.

We are looking at a huge increase in gun violence and here is the problem. The number one move to get away from such things is move out, great for some, but what if you cannot, what if you are stuck. Portland has few positives right now but cheap and safe ways to move out of the city is not one of them. People are going to be more apt to fight, they will brawl and more people will be shot and it will be at the feet of the city commissioners and the mayor. Not about their politics, but about execution they have failed to such a degree that all of them should refund their wages back to the city and remove themselves in shame for the failure that their tenure has been. All of them, fail after fail after fail and now there is more blood in the streets then ever.

It is not just about shelter, it is about safety, and being somewhere where some can learn good habits and now, we as a state decided that having small amounts of hard drugs is only a fine. No one can tell me how this will actually help, so if anyone will volunteer such secrets I would be appreciative. Some say they have faith they know what the politicians in this city are doing. I trust them as far as they can throw me and since I am a card carrying member of the super heavyweight division, and I actually know a little about defending being thrown that ain’t an inch.

We as a city need to do better. Our homeless, our citizens, our people deserve better. While I tried to inject some humor in places how can anyone feel safe when you know it takes twelve minutes on average for police to help you in high risk crimes like shootings when you know when every second counts.

The world will get better but it will take time.

Stay strong and stay safe.

Writer 404 Error – Venom Spitting Mad

A dozen pages, thousands of words, most of which I am being less of an educator or explainer and more of a yelling yahoo. It didn’t sound right so I did not pull the trigger and because of things going on in my city that meant I was guilty by something I hoped those reading this would not be and that is overly bound to emotion. I am glad I didn’t post what I had written it wouldn’t have helped anybody and so we continue.

Where do we go from there? Plenty of things have come up that as either changed or through the venom I was spewing in my own anger that we still have not gone over.

We may as well start with how the homeless situation has changed, and it has been changed for the worse. Section 8 the usual last bastion of hope is enough to do if you have the time, but if you are single you must realize that you are at the bottom of the list no matter what gender you are. Section 8 goes to families first and of those minorities, disabled and veterans push them up higher. I would say do the paperwork to get on the list as it does not take very long, but do not expect it to save you.

Through the new presidency the amount cut from section 8 had not been replaced and states have not been able to figure out the problem per each of their borders. Portland has gotten much worse and you can count dozens of tents on your way to work in the city. It had a major homeless problem and between the rent issue, the pay issue, the pandemic and the lack of health care, mental care or beds for those who need it, the population has led to many turning into simply living in trash heaps or small tent towns that go down inlets or sidewalks.

Commissioners of the City and of the state have failed at the problem, and it is only getting worse so as we go forward make sure to best equip yourself with the skills, tools, tips, and tricks to help yourself get out of there.

Stay Strong and Stay Calm

If you like what I do please let me know, it does put a smile on my face to know people read these. There are things I have not done to these pages and soon their will be more then just these blog posts and I hope you enjoy at least some of them.

Feeling Nothing but Hate

Let me tell you a small story, a long time ago, a young boy was abused by his family, he had been beaten daily, past discipline, his joints were twisted, his being concussed multiple times and due to his size when he begun going to school other kids had tried to further the damage. Making an example in his first able time to defend himself he broke a classmate’s wrist who tried to put him facedown in the bark.

Years passed and the fights continued, being part of a town going through a drug boom facilitated the ease of fighting and a police department so dirty and hands off had only made one needed to brawl at times.

He was known for brutality in fights and was willing to injure himself and others to make a point. Things had happened he lost people in horrible ways and it stung him deeply. After the last funeral he went to he thought the world was against him. That is the point we are talking about because a lot of people may be feeling this in their lowest, that their world that they inhabit actively hate them and that those who do not agree with them are the enemy.

From that story let me give this piece of advice of anyone with that exact mindset thinking the world can be reforged if enough anger is cast at it blindly. It won’t. You will hurt your own cause enough that you will be deemed a failure and a fool in relation to it. Anyone on the basis of that cause will look at you and deem you unfit to even be made knowledgeable of any coming changes in your direction, and some will take the hatred you have garnered from your own actions or lack there of and deem you the problem.

Blm, Antifa and the Proud Boys are groups with exactly that, both sides have actual problems and both have insults flung at them from the other just for the sake of emotional prizes and it just does not work.

Be mad, sure, think the world hates you? Most times it just doesn’t care, but if you can focus it on positives then make it work. For that to be achieved it is something that needs to work for all sides. Of the conflict. Focus your anger at the trappings of the cycle rather then those who execute and you will find your capabilities much more warmly received.

Alright enough of the Dr. Phil talk.

Stay Strong.

End of the Year Problems

Still working on progress here between health issues but I had a lot of rough pages that should be coming in posts over the next couple days. Many areas are coming out of lockdown and here in Oregon we still have to deal with a lot of it.

At the end of the year a lot of protections on the rent pause will be lifted and many areas will be suddenly trying to charge many people however months rent were left unpaid. Repeat for car payments, for utility bills, and for several more things there are a lot of things asking for a lot of money to a lot of people that many may not be used to.

The first thing for many people would be to try and turtle hoping that they get pushed down the list. It will not work because many times these companies have been running for the time and have had less money brought in the never making it twice as difficult. Some people may think that the situation has deemed some extra mercies, but you need to put yourself in a position that shows you are willing to work with people.

Businesses, whether it is a car dealership or a bank or even your landlord, when you take initiative in a way that is respectful and honest will be much more lenient and much more accepting to work with you going over any options they can come up with. You may have to take a deep breath, but hiding will ruin more then just being honest to it. You do not want to take that damage to your credit because it will just make the recovery period that much longer.

Stay stronger and be honest and you can get through it.

Chaos Never Changes

There is something to be said when the world and its circumstances are whipping about you like a gale and you know not only who you are, but can keep your bearings while the world around you loses theirs.

It is something so simple it is almost lost, it is the single thing you look at would never expect but having such things in your head giving you a path can make things easier when you are in a positions you never have been in before. From previous articles, the point of learning that will be important to only as a person but in whatever situation you are in. When you push yourself to the new and unknown situation you have that inner dialogue that gets you to actively guide with a moral compass, and it gets you to think in ways that some may deem out of the box. The more experience through the process the easier it gets for you to do so, and then we have where the new may not seem so new and you feel more in your element even when it isn’t the case.

Chaos has its place as does order and to find your best you need to be aware, your reaction to chaos will be how you can grow from it or shrink from it. This war of a letter is going to be something where we can all learn something to better ourselves, not because we are bad people but because no person is perfect and to learn is to grow.

The point right now is just to take things one thing at a time because no matter how much you want to think about everything the human mind can only focus on so much. Cut the problem down to sizable bits that are easier to manage and you can find yourself through it much easier then if you just looked at the big picture all the time. Look at the big when you want to find your best target, but after that just take to the path and go from there, one step at a time, and you will go far.

Even if you are not homeless you will find yourself growing much more when you try to do new things and grow as a person. That bad ass you always liked in the books and movies could very well be you after a couple of months of years and really applying this. Learn how to pack better, pick up some survival tactics, keep it all in the bag of tricks so when you need to get through the unknown you have just the trick for the occasion.

When you want to make the world better, just better, you need every trick you got to get it done. Everything how it is online and in the real world, without learning from the moral compass and trying to learn we will all fail.

Now, I have begun seeing this hashtag on twitter #generalrevolt and saying how the homeless situation is on the republicans. It is not. It isn’t all on the democrats either, its not big city or small town, its a problem. Unfortunately, we have all gotten caught up with using it as a political baton that we forgot how to handle it.

Just talk with people and stay strong and I will do the same, with how my city is going, I feel that I may need some of that strength you all have. I feel that this will be done the hard way because of people being so stubborn, and seeing what is coming in Portland currently.