Chaos Never Changes

There is something to be said when the world and its circumstances are whipping about you like a gale and you know not only who you are, but can keep your bearings while the world around you loses theirs.

It is something so simple it is almost lost, it is the single thing you look at would never expect but having such things in your head giving you a path can make things easier when you are in a positions you never have been in before. From previous articles, the point of learning that will be important to only as a person but in whatever situation you are in. When you push yourself to the new and unknown situation you have that inner dialogue that gets you to actively guide with a moral compass, and it gets you to think in ways that some may deem out of the box. The more experience through the process the easier it gets for you to do so, and then we have where the new may not seem so new and you feel more in your element even when it isn’t the case.

Chaos has its place as does order and to find your best you need to be aware, your reaction to chaos will be how you can grow from it or shrink from it. This war of a letter is going to be something where we can all learn something to better ourselves, not because we are bad people but because no person is perfect and to learn is to grow.

The point right now is just to take things one thing at a time because no matter how much you want to think about everything the human mind can only focus on so much. Cut the problem down to sizable bits that are easier to manage and you can find yourself through it much easier then if you just looked at the big picture all the time. Look at the big when you want to find your best target, but after that just take to the path and go from there, one step at a time, and you will go far.

Even if you are not homeless you will find yourself growing much more when you try to do new things and grow as a person. That bad ass you always liked in the books and movies could very well be you after a couple of months of years and really applying this. Learn how to pack better, pick up some survival tactics, keep it all in the bag of tricks so when you need to get through the unknown you have just the trick for the occasion.

When you want to make the world better, just better, you need every trick you got to get it done. Everything how it is online and in the real world, without learning from the moral compass and trying to learn we will all fail.

Now, I have begun seeing this hashtag on twitter #generalrevolt and saying how the homeless situation is on the republicans. It is not. It isn’t all on the democrats either, its not big city or small town, its a problem. Unfortunately, we have all gotten caught up with using it as a political baton that we forgot how to handle it.

Just talk with people and stay strong and I will do the same, with how my city is going, I feel that I may need some of that strength you all have. I feel that this will be done the hard way because of people being so stubborn, and seeing what is coming in Portland currently.

Protests and the Looters

I did have another post lined up but considering what has happened I felt this was needed. What happened is not in question in that is an absolutely idiotic move with a group of co workers that should have corrected it quickly. I haven’t read anything or found anything that signed especially to racism, but just to sheer stupidity, and boy the officers here were dumb.

Here is my problem though, the whole claiming racism being institutionalized,but without a set array of data and without a target it holds no water. I have seen discrimination, some of my own worst memories came from being discriminated for being raised as a white catholic boy. Not getting mad because other races didn’t help, but instead making sure that I would learn from it. All for when I can break some of the bricks that build into such horrible situations that instead of focus less rage there is a target and a start to break these things down.

The sad thing is you can be mad and claim how something is not in your favor but that doesn’t do anyone any good. Really changing something, you need to break it down in to blocks from relevant data and take each smaller objective on brick by brick. The whole changing an Instagram picture or Facebook picture does nothing without an action. Being emotional thinking the world is out to get you doesn’t do anything but get people to start to ignore you.

I may do more writing on that later but there is a specific end of the riots that got me to think because we are going in to a pandemic issue that did incredible damage to people and to a lot of people’s livelihood and this brought up something. There will be a lot of people I fear that is gong to be homeless after the pandemic with many businesses closing and the whole thing of businesses being hit in great number in riots has done nothing to make me think otherwise.

This is more of an off the cuff writing and to put it simply, to the looters, who think they have the right to steal and break things who come from all races and only have a streak of finding opportunity in chaos, fuck you. Protesters who are just trying to do that and protest now have to look and see their work chained to your damage. Stores will look at this and after the whole pandemic this will be the killing blow to the business. Less business, less jobs, less money, more people on the street.

You can hate the police and granted a lot of them are no friends of mine, but it is a job that still needs to be done so before anyone wants to say kill all police make sure you have a really good plan about who would replace that. Otherwise you are just emotional static at high volume and that does no good.

For those close to homelessness or completely homeless, when it comes to a riot they are groups of people put in between a rock and a hard place. What would normally be safe turns on to its head, some of these people are drugged up or down. Others can be trying to silence the voice in their head or try not to panic and then we got a bunch of yelling vandalizing yahoos. There may be more violence if the homeless feel their camp or their own safety is at risk. Majority of the homeless have something to give them an edge in a fight and the citizenry may not be ready for that.

This entire situation is just bad, it has shown the worst parts of being a person and for any real progress to be made we need to start breaking down the problems down to pieces we can look at, research and verify before getting our eyes as a people on the goal and getting it done.

Keep on and stay strong.

I did what I could

I think sometimes we need to take a step back and figure out what is best. I learned a lot from this blog but I think it is time to put it down. so this will be the end of the line. and boy it was fun. the energy it is taking for me to do things though is growing, and I need to pick my battles more, maybe this will come back, but this will be the last post for a while.

 

Until next time, stay smart out there.

When business fails what should happen

As positive as I try to be sometimes nothing beats just showing people how to do it better. Due to just getting over a skin infection one of my projects needs to take a hit so I will use this time to get some time to put everything else in order. (I was in for the better part of a weak and a blackout for another couple days beforehand made work a pretty much impossibility)

I think we will all have fun on what may come next so give me some time to put everything else in order and make this next set of writing pieces for this a little more interesting for a lot of people.

Oh, How Sad Things Have Gotten

I was actually in a good mood for a moment. I think it was about thirty-seven seconds. Thirty-seven seconds is the exact amount of time for me to roll out of bed, try to stand, pop my back, move three steps, take my medicine, and sit in my chair.

Seeing there was an attack in London and already in my mind, I know what the next few actions will be. People will lie trying to make others feel better, others will give sympathy being too far away or too strapped for supplies to do anything, others will forget the day after and I will sit here knowing that some people will not be coming home.

It may be strange for so many to be sad for so long. We have normalized such tragedy as easily as the coffee being out at our work. I mean it is a horrible thing, but really the biggest knife in my craw is that it will be ultimately fruitless save for people who want to use it as something of a resume builder. People as weapons like that bother me. They truly do.

People are both the greatest and the worst weapons of time. We can build mountains, stop diseases, promote other species lives, and show our greatest bits not for awards or adulation, but for just because they need to be there. We can stand together and do great big things or as single people stand against everything wrong, but we don’t. Goodness knows that this world can be so much more than we are now except to wake up time after time to see that we are destroying each other really for what? The books we read? The colors we parade in our special moments?

There is a lot of good people, my Facebook is full of them. So when I hear about jobs with more power not being able to find one it drives me up the wall. Sometimes to do something well you just need some experience, a wild hair, schooling, or just one of the three. In fact, this whole thing where some people can’t take jobs because of stupid requirements made me think of a set of videos I think people will like. Whether some or not soon I will play Devil’s Advocate to a way of thinking that people can do more than ever expected. Despite all the good, there are also a group, a group of people where you must hyper-specialize in things that may not actually be needed. There is also a group of people who are afraid of work, but love having power or titles and since those people seem to be the biggest problems.

Oh, I noticed you, the kind that would rather have someone do something else when it is so simple to do yourself. Guess what, I want you to take those titles, those jobs, those championships and I want you to hug them close, I want you to cuddle them at night. I want you to enjoy every moment you have them because your practices will soon show cracks in your defense. You will not see it coming one day and soon you will be at the bottom again. Keep everything warm. Maybe, keep those music contracts safe because I know bands that will be great enough to claim them. I know cooks who can run circles around all network chefs, hell even I could still and I can’t feel half of my fingers. Artists who truly deserve the eye of people while so many find the rise of mediocrity like a coming messiah. Finally, I know businessman barely starting that will hold so much that really it is funny when others cast them aside. I can see that talent, and that talent is getting a little restless, so keep those accolades clutched to your chests, because you will wake up to find they have been pulled from you, and maybe you should have tried to keep up.

No Space Is Safe

*Reads the article*

(Is this going to be the nice guy, or the jaded prick writing today…)

So, there is this thing called safe spaces in some colleges where people can go away if they don’t like what is being said to decompress and withdraw themselves fro m conversation that may be insulting or hurtful. Sounds good on paper, but really it makes me think that massive groups of people have lost their balls, figuratively and literally.

(Well, that answers that.)

Before we go in to possibly inflammatory opinions let me find someone who can say it better than me.

I could just point at this a thousand times, and put up a picture of the largest middle finger on earth for those who do not get the point. I even have one fresh from use with a friend who needed it hence the shading.

I could say how people just need to find their balls and make some “Lost balls. give if found” and some snappy comeback because the internet likes that shit. The internet has become so toxic that politicians twitter fuck-ups are like a, a fresh mountain stream in comparison. So what is the point of all this, well the point is that seriously the need to even talk about this shows we may have just failed as humanity. I was going to end this here. I was getting ready to finish my tomato soup and let the whole thing go. It had been a long week of dealing with idiots and quick trigger morons, social justice warriors and I just wanted it all to end, so I could dream of a life that is better like dancing with aliens or go just relaxing on a boat but seriously #BoycottHawaii?

So someone makes a statement you like and you suddenly have to boycott them. Let me make this absolutely crystal fucking clear.There are opinions that, believe it or not, do not match with yours, and they never will for various reasons. What you do is one of two things. First, you can try to be intelligent and look at their opinion and what they say in an overall encompassing view before gauging the merits and problems of it. The other side and this is the really easy one, you go fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck miles of off or fuck centimeters of off just go F off. Do it far enough that no one can hear you like space or the inside of a volcano, which Hawaii has plenty of and I am sure raising the IQ of the country a couple points is a job they will be happy to take because it does not help, but some people I guess are just beyond helping. For those who are just a bit dim to connect the dots of these statements if you are truly that stupid and cannot see how looking at others opinions can help anything just go throw yourself in a volcano, in Hawaii.

Since everyone is boycotting everything here are a couple things I thought we could boycott so we can actually do something with this much energy. We could boycott the horrible VA treatment, the lack of funds in our education system, we could boycott news channels that falsify facts for ratings, we could do it on lower gas prices, lower food costs, better farm treatment, or even a better fucking toaster. We got a hashtag about boycotting a state because what someone from the state said something that someone else did not like? Oh, the absolute horror! Why it is as scary as Dracula and half as bloody, but you know what there most like is going to be someone from the state who doesn’t like me and I am not going to see any#BoycottOneGuyInPortland tag, and really in all honestly if I did I would think that part of my life’s work is complete. So, I guess I should really just deal with it and the rest of these pinheads should too.

 

Idiots, Drugs, and Mech Metaphors

Ok, most people who are reading this for some happy fuzzy thing may want to leave now.

It is your funeral otherwise.

So living another day I would like to tell you something. I am not a person. I am not a human. I am a bunch of little tiny chibi drawn characters piloting me like Power Rangers Mech. It sounds odd, but really that is how I can go from breaking punching bags in gyms, while talking about women’s fashion for the middle class in the millennium and simultaneously think about where my card game is going to be printed up. Being that split on the action, conversation, and thought happen more times than it really should but life ain’t easy and you all know that.

Staying in the struggling mech metaphor there is the nice one and that is the one that most people usually project, nothing new there. Except when I look at enough stupidity in a short period of time that little nice goody two shoe portion of my personality has to turn the wheel over. They turn the wheel over to the little character that well, would really be best described as a jaded prick.

Looking at events not only around the world but locally has made me realize that the portion of people who know or who can educate themselves to at least grasp what is going on partially is inverted to the people that can make most of the decisions. I am not even talking the hard ones, I am in fact referencing the ones where we all stand around a turd and go…

“Yup, that’s shit.”

The first person who looks at a situation and tries to spin it in such way they sound like they have just gotten off a bender with Charlie Sheen with no evidence to their argument or even so much as a thought I think should, well, they should go back to their drugs. It is clear that they have a hookup, and really I would most likely ask them how I could be so lost from reality. In times like these, I think if these people really want to try and act like adults they have to share the wealth so to speak.

I mean our country is in a place I cannot even believe, built of years upon years of howling monkeys that we have put in place because we can’t get anyone who has a grasp on reality to take the job. Sure the pay is great and the health care is dandy, but most people I know would listen to some of these things across the board and just rethink the whole drinking while working thing. There is not a single party to takes the blame because especially the two main ones should look at their efforts over the last presidential election cycle and just wonder who drank the bleach.

We have one party who put someone after they had already been proven of cheating, media chicanery, lying about funds, ethics, and who was so cocky that they seemed pleased with every misstep that they made. Then on the other side, we have Donald Trump, and the jaded prick steering my little body forward is banging his head into the steering wheel now because these two really could be the same person if you look at a funhouse mirror. Yes, I did say I would keep this blog political free, but I really don’t think it is political when you look at it and go…

“Yup, it’s shit.”

I actually tried starting a party. One that would deal with a lot of the issues that is currently plaguing this country and tried to bring in a lot of younger blood to help push it too which we were stopped by people in reputable parties whether they are state or national making it even more difficult on an already herculean task.  Now, I see groups who use protest like it is their personal privilege to act like brats who didn’t get a nap. People who want to scream and cry, but have no plan to make it better thinking it will be handed to them. There are people currently crying over every small thing who legitimately believe because their feelings are hurt that life should change to accompany them.

It can’t be this generation’s fault as we are living longer we are doing in a lower quality of life than before. It can’t be a race’s fault just because they do not know another race’s context and battles magically plucking the knowledge out of the air like a magician. It isn’t a religion or a belief systems fault because in every religion around the world you can boil a hearty portion down to “Don’t be a dick.” yet people arm themselves with every snippet about annihilation and destroying your foes with the wrath of the almighty deity of choice or belief.

Then I watch after people tell me it is a race or a generation fall on their face every time because they can’t see the forest for the trees and realize that everything is on fire. We have the biggest debt in U.S history and we didn’t as a country have the spark of thought that maybe we should put some money where it counts instead putting them in places it doesn’t. Social Security is fucked right now, and the education system is so bad I would rather teach kids, because I know at least I can give them something better than what they are getting from the public systems despite the best efforts of a group of teachers whose souls have not died from feeling so useless. I don’t even like kids, but the testing and testing and stupid rules and do not get me even started about the school lunch program, and what the government defines as healthy school lunches because after a bunch of them had a serious conversation about Ketchup being a vegetable to pat themselves on the back made me want to knee each of those suckers straight in the junk hard enough that any chance they had of children would be gone and any kids already there would be retroactively written from existence.

You want to fix this shit, it’s easy. Put in better people. I can literally piss from my apartment roof on to someone and the odds are in favor they would be a better choice than people who have done this ten to twenty years.

I will make this world better. Hopefully, you got a laugh at my rantings. I just get so mad because it seems like the best efforts of those including myself and a lot of people better than me are being wasted for such frivolity that makes one wonder that maybe there is no hope and that we should just roll up get some lawn chairs and watch the shit show with a preferred beverage. Let me end with this, knowing how completely off we are on some things how can we expect someone to fix it if we do not even try it ourselves?

Social justice and Micro Transgressions

A long time ago I got into a fight. A fight where a couple people representing a gang wanted to take the money of me and my friend. The lights were painting everything a sickly orange and I just lost my cool because for the umpteenth time someone thought that because they were part of a gang or a group or a clique or had more money or something else that they were better than me.

I am not better than anyone, and no one is better than me. It has taken countless pints of spilled blood, dozens of scars, a handful of broken teeth, and another of broken bones to learn that because moment to moment we only have we are in that moment. All we have one way or the other is defined in a single moment, and that is it.

Back to the street me and my friend took a fair beating, but that was when we learned that was their best shot. They figured it out about three seconds after us and tried pulling out some little switches. It may be a bad snapshot of me at the moment, but it was then that I felt free to do whatever I want because without a weapon I had to defend myself. Our opponents wouldn’t want to be heading back saying the got beat AFTER they pulled their blades. It just does not stand well in the grand scheme when you are always worried about looking weak.

I took a small nick next to my hairline, and if you squint you can still see where it started on the right side. Those blades never got another chance to do damage to us. It felt like hours when it really was minutes, but every second counted to them because every drop of blood they had let to the air I made sure to get out of them. One guy had a busted nose and jaw and to this day will not be in the same building as me, and he still has a limp to the left.

I bring this up because this was in an area that people would go out and bleed for what they wanted, for what they believed. I bled buckets and to see anything after wearing a crimson mask is difficult for the experienced and impossible for the first timer. Hearing the small things people get up in arms over micro transgressions or trying to enforce a backwards policy or deem something discriminatory without any evidence makes me sad. Those gangbangers and me and my friend fought and bled and it wasn’t unheard of for a kid in the grade to die to a botched drug deal or a meth house explosion or just because a fight went too far. Nearly a decade off and on over and over of fighting for what you think is right.

When I read things like how grammar, as it stands, is racist because according to the university, everything is racist which I disagree with wholeheartedly, but that is not the point of this writing. Those guys fought and bled and scratched and pulled every trick in the book, and those girls did the same to survive. I respect those people who had to fight a thousand times, no a million times more than the overly sensitive group of people that is making so much noise it should be a crime in itself. These criers only want something for them, they don’t care about anyone else as long as it proves their own case a little easier. The world is not perfect, not even close. I would rather take the time and look at a situation and gauge the evidence to actually help those who found themselves working against an unfairly stacked deck. Most of those people I beat down and beat the crap out of me. Well, they would too.

I wonder where all of this negative energy will fester in the world because eventually, it will set something alight that cannon be extinguished. Now that my venting is over, however, I am going to try and make the world the better place it can be, and hope I am good enough to do it.

Bad Blood

My family has what could be called a strained relationship. Just recently things took a pretty bad turn of events thanks to one person, and that would be my sister. If one has read this blog for a while one could make the assumption that everything wasn’t sunshine and daffodils. I won’t go until the full story because that would be another month of blog posts, and it really wouldn’t be worth it. What I can say is that through some rough times my sister and I could not be more opposite from each other.

While I fought for what I that was right, she was someone who wanted to be popular. This was done by dating every boy she could to the point that they (her ex-boyfriend)tried to goad me in a fight by exclaiming what they did in full earshot of everyone. She stole, but also got in to a lot of trouble with drug users and it got to the point where she would play what is now a well honed sympathy act to get as much as she  can out of people with the least amount of work. When you sit down and you see someone with unruly kids who doesn’t give one care when it does not benefit her, well then you have seen my sister.

Well, she owed me for a car I had let her borrow after my parents vouched she was turning over a new leaf. She then went to scrap my car out of spite without paying for it. That cost me about 1,200,and remember that because it will come back later.

In almost a year she has burned through four more cars with another one being on the repo list. When it comes to having her own place she hasn’t been able to hold her own for more then a couple moths at a time being evicted no less then three times before her 25th birthday.

Mom got sick of dealing with her living off of her especially when she doesn’t not try to do anything to help when it doesn’t help her. She also has a habit of trying to ruin anything anyone else has going to be the center of attention. All this was happening while I was living with my own apartment for the something like 8th year which after all that time living on my own my health started to drop. Which is where I am now I have to live with family because of my health problems and my sister wants me to forgive the debt if she pays for my first month rent so I can sign the lease for her to live there.

Safe to say since I cannot trust her I will not live with her.