Everything Else

Classes and AI art

My semester is Accounting, Pre Calculus, and Macroeconomics. If I fall off the map for a time, that is why. I want to bring up something here because I have been fiddling around with AI art, and it is currently a hot topic in art.

There is a lot to be said, and I have a couple of books to explain this, more art than writing. But, still, it is something that will, I think, in the later pieces get more explanation because we have a ship of Theseus style thought exercise.

For those who do not know, here is the wiki page explanation.

“The Ship of Theseus is a thought experiment about whether an object that has had all of its original components replaced remains the same object. According to legend, Theseus, the mythical Greek founder-king of Athens, had rescued the children of Athens from King Minos after slaying the minotaur and then escaped on a ship to Delos. Every year, the Athenians commemorated this legend by taking the ship on a pilgrimage to Delos to honor Apollo. The question was raised by ancient philosophers: After several centuries of maintenance, if every part of the ship of Theseus had been replaced, one at a time, was it still the same ship? “

So now we ask, is a piece of art done with an artist’s style according to someone or something, with prompts replaced from original works to whatever is put in, with variables changing still a piece from the artist?

For those that go and get my book, you will find it is very abstract, which is where I think it shines. No rules, just all the pieces in a blender and whipped to whatever is created. Moving forward, I believe that is how I will do it. However, we still have some problems because those stylings are based on artists. While there is no copyright infringement on a style, it is very disrespectful, so where do we draw the line? 

Moving forward, I will have to research and see which artists’ styles are available and write myself a no-go list. One book is already done, so I cannot do much, and really the only reason it has not been released yet is that the formatting did not come out the way I wished. As it stands, I have one book of fifty pieces, all abstract, but some are cool, and after formatting, I will leave it as just a fancy picture book letting the points show up more in the next book. 

It would be nice to get something up. Goodness knows my book stack to finish is large enough already. 

Here is the cover. 

Stay Strong.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

College Loans and Disability

You know, I was initially going to just make a blog post about some positive things in the twitch community. However, something a little more serious has come into play after some thought. So now I will preface it with this. I have tried to get statements from others having this problem, but they did not want to come forward and put their names on it. So the only story I have is my own, but I can say others have had this problem. Unfortunately, no one at this time wants to step forward.

For those who are unaware, I am taking college classes, particularly in two fields of study, business administration and quantitative economics, some pretty heavy stuff. Now I am starting my first few years at a community college and making sure everything has no hiccups. I thought of getting some school loans just in case I could not work my job or something were to occur where if one had to focus on schooling and not work for a time, then it could be done.

Here is the problem. Due to health issues and previous school loans, now in a degree that can no longer be worked, I have what was called a TPD discharge. A total and permanent disability discharge. This means the government in a different department looked at what I originally did and thought. “This guy is no longer medically clear to work the degree he spent time learning and we cannot in good faith have him pay on it.”

Now it also means for three years, I cannot take any school grants, and I cannot take any more school loans until that period is over. I got the help, but for three years, I was on my own if I wanted to go to school. I am not getting any help from my family as they are concentrating on burning everything they have for the sake of cigarettes and cheap nail polish. Grants do take care of classes, but to make sure rent is covered by something would be some relief that I could use. Now, with Biden declaring how a portion of student loans will be forgiven, it would be really good to know what I took out would be removed.

Well, no, I have some questions about the amount and how that will hit a market already ballooning with inflation (remember economics major). The problem is before anyone points at my school loans as a gotcha, one has to be aware. No subsidized loans were made available to me. In fact, the community college in question declared that either a signed note backed by my neurologist or doctor stating that my health was 100% and my previous disability was gone or there would be no subsidized loans available.

It sounded weird, so meetings online were planned and attended where we could go over them more in-depth. The amount asked was not in question as it was low enough it could be handled by a subsidized loan. Still, the fact the Portland Community College explained it was due to the three-year time frame that had already expired with evidence to prove it to them. I did not take my first semester until it was already passed and still made sure everything was cleared beforehand. This made the person dealing with their finances stumble and grasp.

“Oh well even though you are disabled the government doesn’t want to take loans that won’t be paid.”

“So you are because of my disability not allowing me to get cleared for subsidized loans?”

“Correct.”

I did not yell or scream. I simply to my lumps and decided to get more information. Now, I took this to some disability lawyers just to get their opinion, and the consensus was either the Portland area had lawyers with no testicles or there was no case to be had. The problem was the decision was to make sure the loans would be repaid. As they are subsidized, the school would need to okay them from government lenders, and because of that, I would not need to pay interest until I was done with school. It was not the loan givers making it so they could not be sued, and the school was making decisions within their right, according to the lawyers around here, so they cannot be sued. From this point, it was just aggravating because there were still problems to be taken care of and the resources available for others were not available to me.

There was something that could be done, but I adapted, and as it stands, I can continue to adapt. This has been something that others have dealt with, making me a little bit miffed, to say the least. I will try to bring more evidence, but I would like to hear from you.

After A TPD discharge has been used and after the three-year time frame has expired, should they, if able, go into college and learn something to better themselves? For example, should disabled people have the right to school loans, or should they not, or is it something in between?

In fact, I may also have something to write about to help more people. Also, sorry this was late. Between health and problems, time decided to move faster than I liked, but I hope you will like the content coming.

Stay Strong.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Of Spoons and Cards


Some may not know, but if you see someone online on Instagram, Twitter, or even in some of my own blog posts, you may see the word spoonie as a tag. The term was coined by another blogger. It was explained that each spoon represented the stores of energy that someone with a chronic condition or a condition that cannot be cured. So when you are out, you have to rest to replenish.
I never understood where spoons came out of, but I played enough cards that I used them for my understanding of it. It made more sense because you need to have cards to play trading card games. Something I have been in a lot of in my years. When you play those games, running out of cards in hand often is a death sentence to not having those pieces to work with in your hand. In fact, it made me want to think of a spoonie card game just so some people can understand what it is like.
Anytime someone can make others have fun and have it sit on a concept that can be then broken down when they want to. Sometimes we all need to look at some more serious things and can’t, but having a few laughs, it makes it that much more approachable. It is on the list of things that I need to work on but in my efforts to get everything done and be the renaissance villain trying to remake a crappy world into my own better ideas. I say that with the high-brow humor as is expected of me.

Yes this is a fart gif, nothing more evil then turning a car into a nightmare. Also nothing more hilarious.


Redbubble store is going slowly, and now it’s just working on the back end, like formatting and experimentation for the new and improved blends, which currently as the basic salt is now being infused before being mixed as is the sugars makes me think we will have the most luxurious all natural flavorings on the planet. It takes time to make the best, but I am using things no one else is using and know I am working and layering to do and books still need to be formatted. Overall it’s just more and more to do, but progress, as you see, is being made, so I cannot complain. Much.
Still trying to get everything in a body that seems to feel that it has more than just half a used battery, but I think progress is enough to at least keep me happy and move up the diet and exercise, so it would be a little more taxing, so I can get myself in better shape, it is showing some signs.
Finally, there was a moment where just everything kind of connected, and there was something that made sense. You just have that moment where things seem like they are being pulled together, and it finally dawns on you the reason for all the practice. It is a eureka moment that allows you to finally grasp how all of what you are aiming for is coming together, like a cipher where only you have the answer to the code and to make it seem so simple to understand, no matter how brutal the execution may be. It was a bit of a nice moment. Now there just is the nasty habit of execution because all the hopes mean little.
Also, my aunt has been sick since the last post. I gave her some of the rolled truffles made initially for work, she loves dark chocolate truffles, and so I had saved her and my uncle some.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Where Am I?

My this week was rough, but we are getting stuff done. Got some food for the recipes so provided I don’t get hit with the black plague or poisoned I should be able to get some of that in the coming weeks.

Grants for the business are in and if things go well I can get some help to get everything in order. Which leads me to the new page about Golden Spangle food, as time goes on that will be the first base for buying the products, currently it is just a logo. Things are falling in place for the business on the Indiegogo and I am looking at some things for the labels right now. Business class has been great in finding things that could be done to make the opening process easier.

Health wise has been a problem because I have through work gotten myself a bronchial infection and right now I am just trying to get as much done as I can while trying not to burn myself out. Being sick can really hammer your energy and doctors have given me notes to go back when at least the worst of it is done. Still, there seems to be more stuff do at every turn and then the projects currently not on the top of the docket still need some time and love so that is going to be fun soon.

Writing wise we had a bit of a setback as the heavy edits were not up to snuff so I sent all my writing back to rough draft and now we are pushing them through again starting with light edits to get that done a little better that way we can really polish it through heavy. We have been able to employ a few programs to help make that a little less painless and while it doesnt catch everything it gets majority out of the way.

College wise it has been draining but so far we are doing well and it has been good enough that we can prove to Vocational Rehab and get them to pay the rest. This semester had been a bit of a prove it where they had to see if I could be a full time student before getting the chance of doing all of this in stone and it is looking good so far. When all of this is done I hope there will be a lot at the end of this year that will be able to look at and say that much less to go.

Instagram I would hope to be at 200 followers but maybe I just dont do enough punchy stuff to get people interested. It happens, maybe they would join later. I am getting close to 400 on twitch and that is amazing to me so I got to figure something else with that.

Actually as I write this, I hit 400 so now we plan something cool and start aiming for 500, progress happens when you may not expect it sometimes.

This makes

Thanks for joining me so far and of course

Stay Strong

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Musings of a Tryhard

College, business, games, and twitch. Music, writing son-of-a-bitch.

My time is always running and I need a car to pick it up for if time keeps running out on me I guess my moment is up.

Don’t know why I am rhyming.

Anywho. So in the realm of things that do not matter I made silver in tft and green in hyper which is like finding a single free piece of pizza on the niceness scale but considering the year I think we can all take what we can get.

Next is the writing and I have learned to edit during my tft time so that means another book should be done, will I finally publish, if I can figure out the other things like a cover and overcome the crippling self doubt. Most likely is what I am saying.

Also, filling out some paperwork but that is a secret for now. Shhhh.

So that leaves really things are going and they seem to be going good for now but the need for money is coming and the person who I made the sale through who does work at a restaurant, (I checked) needs to finish his part of the bargain it is during these moments I would like to do it in person but, I really don’t get out much and honestly the cost of transportation is already killing me.

Disability thinks I am still not disabled despite the stack of tests and paperwork taller then me ( six feet tall) so I feel I still have the right to continue bashing judges because if ya’ll are that stupid then you need to get a talking to and possibly a third grade reading lesson.

College is next on the list and work has been going good, being pulled in so many different directions is really painful though especially when it comes to how much needs to be done still. I still need to find some stuff to do when it comes to how to market but nothing gets done with money to do it and right now a lot of places don’t want to hire even for part time work, I have tried, but once again being disabled tends to throw a couple dozen spanners in the grinder.

Just really need to keep moving forward and while things can feel like it is so aggravating that you want start to bang your head on the desk and while it may feel that way. The only thing that would do is give you a nasty headache. I am just speaking from experience on that myself. When people say there are jobs they do not mean in Portland because right now nobody wants to hire.

Problems come and then we need to find solutions to it so all of this should hope things get a little more comfortable soon.

You know the drill.

Stay strong.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Hyper Plans

Welcome all to a running tally of my madness. No, not really, but still I bet some of you have felt the same things working on your stuff for so long, and with some writers finding some peace after NanoWrimo. When it feels like there is always more to do and the body cannot handle all of it sometimes makes you think you never should have tried. I happen to fall in the trap of thinking as one thing cannot be done as fast as I would like that it would be worthless for me to do it at all.

On top of everything else I am going back to college and I could be getting some medical help for something that has been bothering me for a long time now. For those who do not know, between the fights, the diet, the issues of my body not absorbing well had made my teeth that more of a hockey smile versus regular smile and it has been something that people have been made nervous seeing it, and I had just finished the paperwork to get some help.

I could be going to college, and while some may some it has less value then ever there are certain holes in my game it could help cover and I will love to learn about how to do that especially if I do not need to be the one to pay in ( That is the trick after all.) This is more of a future bet on myself to use the training for something that could get me back on my feet despite all the damage this body has carried over the years.

Finally, the big thing of what is going on and that is the food company is coming together there are more things being filled out in the business plan and soon there will be a need to start getting the word out. Costing has gone well I felt and even with the containers at the worst profit margin one could it had been something that came out where I wanted which may be bad or good but it provides the best price point without being so cheap that people find something wrong with it, people had done that before from what I sold and it was a painful lesson. Sell at the point where people feel comfortable, because that is a thing, and if you did not know that, now you do. I would say find it just high enough that it invites faith in the product through their price point but not so high where people are needlessly taken out of potentially buying it, because that is not what we want, we ant people to enjoy the thing we make at the base value.

I say it all here because I have a habit of going too low and suddenly think there is something wrong with it. This is more for me and look back to go, ‘hey, ya you talked about it, take your own advice.’ Sometimes we need to give ourselves such advice I have pushed myself far, but it has been something that we can make a lot of progress on things and while I still need to balance some things it is times like these I wish I would get my old batteries back.

Wishes are like ifs and buts, candies and nuts, Toronto still gets no cup, or however the line went, in any case there is still some energy going through me and that means there is still stuff to be done so please take the time and peruse some of the things you may find on the books page, right now everything on there is for free, but I am also editing my own original works and those will have a price after some people who write more for a living, and learning how I can use each place I post as something different.

This post is going to sound like a kid hopped up on sugar and I do not care, we are looking at things for the indiegogo plan so if there is something you want to see , please let me know, follow me in the spots I wark at and I hope the stuff I can do makes your day brighter in some aspect.

Seasons Greetings and Stay Strong

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Kata In Administrative Violence

There is something in me that wishes wholeheartedly that makes me want to compete, and I know my body just does not take to it very well, it had been many years since heavy competition and every time I train often ends to me usually hurt and trying to tape myself together before getting even more hurt. What could be so painful as having a mind that is fine and a body that could be the cage, well sometimes one has to work within one’s capability and that means having to deal with the pain of what could have been needs to go away because in the new time one has to do the new things and through it great things can still be done.

For me I hate how my body breaks down but I have been doing more stretching and pushing different things further to try and get back some semblance of the energy I once had, and now despite the passing out at random times for certain things it means I can at least try to keep going.

Why am I yammering on like this? Well, right now there 8, yes 8 books to be edited and the end of this nano means one large fanfic project and another book so by the end of the month so there could be 9 or even 10 of them things get really pushed to the brink. Then there is the stuff with the food and then there are things coming together through some application of administrative violence.

Administrative violence is the practice of using the system against those who are being the pain in your ass and can be very useful as some days pass and people do not learn the lesson for not screwing with you. I would suggest everyone learn some administrative violence fighting technique and you will find yourself much more accepting of what cannot be changed and much more capable on the facets that can be.

So work well and stay strong.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Short One, Longer Post Monday

One day is all it takes to right the ship, and it often can be enough where you do not need the whole day; as soon as things start going your way, it could be half a day, and your entire fortune has changed. I have not gotten there yet myself, but something has begun to go my way, and that gives me time to get more done.

This month I said it was going to be essential, and it was. For everything that had to be done, it was going to be a month of a lot of trying, wrapping up a lot of things, and even more hitting the finish line. That would be some friendly feelings, and while my body has been broken at the level of shattered glass, fr every step over the finish line, it makes you feel just that much more of yourself.

As of right now, I have spent project after project getting it further and having to tape up my body from breaking down as it did so many years ago when a bruised rib was a good day and blood loss was a pain for the laundry but not much else because I wore black back then as well.

I will want one day to live in what John Goodman once called “A position of fuck you.” A point where no matter what happens, as long as I live, if I don’t take serious risks, I can live until my last dies like a prolonged retirement with only my time and my mind in my base of solitude to make the entertainment as I need to.

This will be a short post, but some cards are falling in favor. All I can hope is I can turn it into more progress. Stay strong, everyone.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Banging My Head Against A Wall

Drying things yourself will be interesting. The items last much longer and are much easier to pulverize to powder. The problem is drying removes water which, takes away a lot of mass which means I will need more of it.

The good news is that it holds very well after being bagged up. Drying such things makes it valid for items like ramen packs, another source for a product line. If I can make a good pack in America, it could sell well.

When I can get a smoker that works for a smaller amount by cold smoking, I will work on it. Right now, I have a smoker grill, but it would be difficult to use it for smaller amounts. I wonder how that will work. In any case, maybe there is another way to get the smoking effect I am looking for.

Doing more research on who might be against me in sales is the Oregon Spice Company, which seems to only work with businesses. Through my searches in stores (when I could), I could not find any products they sold, which means they would only be competing on the business-to-business scale.

Then there was an issue that came from my family. I found out that my mother had died. The first thing that had been from that was actually a disappointment. A portion of my family had used her. Through previous visits, rare they may be, that she was not getting better care, and her own doctors and physical therapists have said just as much.

My sister would use everyone to make her own life better and emotionally manipulate all to do so. She was someone who made the deal to get our mother out of my care and under her own. Through my visits, the care she had brought and been much worse than under my supervision, and I knew it, and my mother knew it as well.

If all these people knew it, if the rest of the family understood what that meant, why didn’t they try and make an effort to give better care? Well, my father, who had the house, gave up. My sister was lazy and thought smoking was the better idea to while away her time. My sister’s husband, who lived with them, did his best but found caring for two kids and an elder and trying to clean up the house while doing his work, which was too much for him.

My brother couldn’t stand to be around them and their egotistical ways. My father couldn’t deal with the problems and just gave up and walked back into his room and his games and gave up all other goals or dreams and letting my sister run the show for the most part.

Dealing with her passing is like banging ahead in the well, like my father, her ex-husband, after a 20-year marriage. My sister is in charge of the funeral and her paperwork. She has already botched it enough times the extended family had to call her out. It has been disappointing, but I plan to focus on my goals and hope the family can clear their shit out.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Progress at Any Length

Three products were designed and worked on to the point where I can feel like selling them.

One is a salt substitute that includes some different dried mushrooms ground to powder and a pinch of white pepper. If salt does it, then this combination, after a process, brings out more flavor than ever. It takes a full day from when the mushrooms come into when I can put them in the seasoning, and that is, although time-intensive, the flavor it brings is second to none. I have done some light testing against similar products, which are not many, and honestly, I feel like mine tops the heap.

The second one is sugar and a mix of roasted vegetables, fruits, and garlic with a bit of brown sugar. Put that together, and it becomes a mix that works on anything and has a sweet, savory balance that works on meats and roasted vegetables and even some panna cotta. It does not blast other foods or seasonings you are enjoying. No matter how much you eat, it does stand up to anything I have thrown at it making it a perfect co-star in the spice cabinet.

Last is something I tripped over, taking some of the two blends and a couple of extra things and turning them into a spice rub that turned out some of the best barbecue I ever made. Three products, and right now, I cant make a whole lot. It takes at least a full day to cook them down and grind them to powders, so there is that, but I also will have a powdered soup stock as my next item to try.

I still need to find a price point that people can understand. I mean, if someone can make all your food taste good, how much would you pay for it? For restaurants, if I can provide you a flavor profile that would take you hours and take anything next level, how much?

Price points have been an issue of mine before, so it will take some time to research them. However, I have tried selling things at too cheap, and people that there was something wrong with it, and it was a price I had initially thought to be fair.

I had a meeting with a score mentor to go over some of the things I will need to find out about my products to succeed. Of course, there always seems to be things to do, but if you go to my stream and look at my banner, you will see something. A grid behind the big T and in the filled squares is something of a collage, each one representing something I have done as a streamer.

So many questions to answer, but we made it farther than we were last week, so progress is something at least.

0 CommentsLeave a comment