Millwordy in 2022

I will be going back to college, I will be working on millwordy, I will be releasing books and whatnot and now it is just something where I am trying to put it all together in a time frame that does not make me feel like crap. The more things that need to get done the more it is going to put my energy to the limits and moving forward.

Through workouts and taking vitamins and trying to eat better I have gotten some usage back, but there is still the part of my body where always want more but I think that may just be a personality defect, no matter how much I try it will always be something where I want to try to do more. So I may have a few more books coming out I guess and I am hoping I can release one next year. That would be a good plan.

One million words and so many plans and goals had been going now and it seems these next twelve months will seem to be important for the rest of my life and looking at that it makes me a little nervous. Failure here may be something where I cannot get back, but making this year work. To a new year of challenges and hopefully of goals being hit, and of hopefully life getting better despite the world trying to get worse.

Will explain more next week.

Stay Strong and Merry Christmas.

Writing at Nyoom Speed

Writing, writing, writing. I have been writing a lot recently and it has added up to a few things that will be sold soon but right now we have to go over the little treats for you all. Two projects. One, a selection of fanfiction. I challenged myself to write and that can be picked up off of Gumroad, that is something you do not need to pay for, none of my Gumroad ones are. Just, if you do want to pay something I would appreciate it.

70k of words as short stories in 2k to 2.5k each about a character I have in the game, because I like the game, and that is enough for that right now. Share it, join me on twitch, (https://www.twitch.tv/mrbigtanderson) have a good time, but there is more that will be done in other things because you know I cannot rest for long periods of time. It just does not work well for me that way.

Also, after cost out it looks like I can sell each 4oz container by volume will be sold five dollars per but as one can see, there is a fair amount in each one and it will have flavors that will boost your food from the flat to the gold, but there is a video that is in the works. Five dollars per is at the high end of where I wanted it to be, and was within the range already in the stores. I still haven’t worked out the whole mail thing yet. Working on it, though, but it is a lot done in the month so far and we got a week and change to go.

We are going to get some stuff done, and hopefully have fun. It has been a rough road so far, but like everything you got to be more hard headed then your obstacles, and while I have had some low points, from the death of family members semi recently to issues with the body, it is still sweet to get a little progress. More is coming.

Stay Strong Everyone.

This is the face of nyoom. Speed unfiltered.

It Stings In Blind Spots

As many of the writings have shown here, I ask a lot of questions, sometimes I get it wrong, sometimes right, but I do try. One thing I absolutely hate is zealotry for the sake of one’s side despite everything. That is different from believing it and realizing there are faults. In fact, it could be just as much as the difference between meaningful conversation and yelling at a wall.

Also, as much as I try to push myself to do better things. The past few days have been difficult because there have been many moments where I feel out of place.

It finally capped off with a conversation on Twitter about politics. While they were very passionate and we had issues with the other’s points, something was touched upon that made me think.

I have lived and around the Portland area for the better part of three decades. Politically it is not a flattering cross-section for any group. Those who backed the mayor failed in many metrics, including gun safety, homelessness, quality of life. They couldn’t stop the protests when they picked up and continued. This person was so adamant so passionate about their political beliefs being correct. While they were more open than most, they still were more emotionally wrapped in the issues.

Which made me think back to the concert. I have been so emotionally numb for fear that I don’t want something I may do or say to be used against me, especially against my goals. This is led me to think about why I am so guarded, and it came to me.

In my life, I have had my family betray me, my loved friends killed, my name besmirched, harassed by police, used as a poker chip, tossed away from a family that hated me. I have been shot at dozens of times, lit on fire on three separate occasions, countless sprains, concussions, bruises, torn tendons, pulled muscles, spasms, fibromyalgia, and that is just off the top of my head.

After all that, you get a bit jaded. I have found that in going day by day, I never really allowed myself to emotionally relax.

It stings when you know you still have growing to do, especially when you feel you made progress. Still, a mile is made of many steps, and hopefully, by the time I reach my goals, I can be a good enough person, at least to make this mudball a little better as well.

Stay strong.

What to do When Bored

Boredom is something right now we are all dealing with and while you some people may think being homeless means you can get everything done with people, the thing is that is true, until you get tabbed. After that you will find people start moving away from you. Your best bet then would be how to pass the time without getting cabin fever for your tarp or tent, yes you can get it.

For a lot of people this pandemic is the most difficult moment of their lives because there is no social life here, there is not going to the Starbucks or Dunkin for a coffee. If you have a job, your hours are cut. If you are filing for unemployment you won’t get it yet, and if you are disabled you will find SSDI do everything in their power to shutdown people looking for it who may deserve it. All that even if it isn’t the worst moment in your life just in portion after portion of your life of getting shut out makes you wonder a lot of things.

No matter if it has been the worst or not you are in it now. Put your eyes on the target, and spend thought after thought to learn everything. You can take a look at the negative and make peace wit hit because no one goes to actively make their lives worse.

Currently we are in a time where some people are falling into some negative habits, using the windfalls instead of rent on other things, it is so bad it is a meme now. Despite rent being paused it is still needing to paid and while some can’t some are just taking advantage. It can be said that if the roles were reversed they would wish that people do their best and pay what they could. A little is fine to keep some things rolling because that is using a tool (money), but over doing it can make you look like a fool.

What would be some things you can do? Learn a new hobby, the amount of information available even with just a half decent phone is absurd. Now, if you want to learn the basics of a skill you can just tap it in somewhere and get a couple ideas or moves or thought exercises. Make yourself better because the time will go by and it is a place where you can get out miles ahead of where you started.

Stay strong and learn something new.