It Stings In Blind Spots

As many of the writings have shown here, I ask a lot of questions, sometimes I get it wrong, sometimes right, but I do try. One thing I absolutely hate is zealotry for the sake of one’s side despite everything. That is different from believing it and realizing there are faults. In fact, it could be just as much as the difference between meaningful conversation and yelling at a wall.

Also, as much as I try to push myself to do better things. The past few days have been difficult because there have been many moments where I feel out of place.

It finally capped off with a conversation on Twitter about politics. While they were very passionate and we had issues with the other’s points, something was touched upon that made me think.

I have lived and around the Portland area for the better part of three decades. Politically it is not a flattering cross-section for any group. Those who backed the mayor failed in many metrics, including gun safety, homelessness, quality of life. They couldn’t stop the protests when they picked up and continued. This person was so adamant so passionate about their political beliefs being correct. While they were more open than most, they still were more emotionally wrapped in the issues.

Which made me think back to the concert. I have been so emotionally numb for fear that I don’t want something I may do or say to be used against me, especially against my goals. This is led me to think about why I am so guarded, and it came to me.

In my life, I have had my family betray me, my loved friends killed, my name besmirched, harassed by police, used as a poker chip, tossed away from a family that hated me. I have been shot at dozens of times, lit on fire on three separate occasions, countless sprains, concussions, bruises, torn tendons, pulled muscles, spasms, fibromyalgia, and that is just off the top of my head.

After all that, you get a bit jaded. I have found that in going day by day, I never really allowed myself to emotionally relax.

It stings when you know you still have growing to do, especially when you feel you made progress. Still, a mile is made of many steps, and hopefully, by the time I reach my goals, I can be a good enough person, at least to make this mudball a little better as well.

Stay strong.

To Gil Caroya of the Huffington Post

So I read an article that kinda got to me you can read it for yourself here. I’m not going to make any bad puns so let’s just get to it.
I took a bit of insult to this article so I decided to let the Huffington Post know about it my response is below.
What do you think about this piece of literary work? (The article not my response.)
Hi, my name is Tj Anderson and I am 25 years old. According to your last article I am one of those idiotic millennials prone to know it all rants and is clueless about the ISIL threat. Well, as for idiotic everyone has their moments, and I am not different from others in that regard. About the know it all rants we all believed that we knew everything at some point. That just seems to be the wonder of human nature, and some people grow out of it while others live with it. So finally about being clueless I can say without shame that I am clueless about this subject. Thinking I wanted to get some insight I looked on to the Post website and saw your article. The sad thing was your article did not bring much about ISIL and instead talked about how a group of people is so “stupid”.

Which brings me to this email. In the pursuit of learning about a terrorist group I only found someone who is very intelligent with an ability to route his passion not only of the goodness of people, but of what things can be in to a thinly veiled vent of anger on a platform supposed to bring more information to people who don’t know. I actually thought maybe I don’t understand something maybe I’m just not getting something. I have taken a couple pans to the head in my years in kitchens, so I try to give people the benefit of the doubt on that. Trying to see things through your eyes I looked at articles and found you have a background in tech tried doing some research in to the award you earned in 2005. Didn’t find much on it I just signed that off that I was just looking in the wrong area.

What I did find though is you still had a great passion in the tech industry you still got some fire in your belly and you want to make some good things happen. You want to make the world a better place every day either through the acceleration of your own skills and abilities or through the bodies of work you contribute to society. That wanting to make the world better came through to me in two articles I read to help get a better view of things through your eyes. It was your last article on the Post in September and the first one in October. “Technology’s Gender Bias — A Subconscious Shot in the Foot?” and “Why Don’t People Care When It Doesn’t Affect Them?” both showed your willingness to fight for what you believe in. It is great you do that, but in the forms of fighting sometimes we forget who we fight, what we do it with, and how we achieve our goals. Fighting comes in various forms not all of them physically, but it just seems that you seem to have lost your way in your personal quest. Maybe I am wrong I am just going off what I think and I am making this email to communicate that.

You have abilities and your are passionate about your causes just do not lose sight or one day you may put something up that will cost you your platform or will cost you progress to your goals. If you want to talk because if I did misunderstand something then let me know. Through whatever format you are most comfortable with, info below. I may not know everything, but I am going to at least try to make the world better through my means, and I wish you success in your quests as well.