Honor Roll.

It has been a rough week, I got to play video games with my uncle and now have a 4.0 going through two semesters in college which is a welcome surprise. When it comes to the whole thing though there is always places to excel and this leads me to my work. Summer semester is currently in doubt because of issues from Vocational rehab after finding out the grants will not help in the summer.

There has been work on the project front and all things willing should be starting out to go to farmers markets to talk to people and see if a couple could try my products. Part of me has been wondering despite all the trying and efforts if I am good enough to do it and maybe instead I am just hopped up on my own ego.

During my whole life growing up up until me leaving. I cannot tell you times I had been struck by my family, but I can count on my hands during that time how many hugs I had gotten. There had been always a kind of prove it culture growing up in my family and part of me thinks that chasing all these goals has been a dark evolution of my determination due to that sort of thing.

Does this mean I am going to stop. Fack no. I look at my goals more then talk to some friends what it does mean though is it often leads me to think that maybe stuff like this is only how I will ever find myself in a better situation of living. There is a want to change the world, to make it better and there are multiple ways currently being used. Seeing my city fall to disrepair, to squalor still kills me for Portland is a beautiful city and it is going to be that way again and the world will be better, but first I need to find skills and grow my ways in more then ever before.

To the future, stay strong.

I am Heading a Table at a Virtual Convention

I never understood how some people could have nothing to do. I seemingly have 34 hours of work every day. It tires me to the core when everything isn’t hurting, or my jaw is ripped up. Unfortunately, I did rip up something in my jaw again. It is getting easier, though. My second semester is done, and we know what the second degree should be. Despite everything, the decision was made to take some school loans just in case things go bonkers again.

The second semester of college is done, and unless I botched the final for statistics which could very well be the case, except there was a formulas sheet that was allowed to be used and could not be found, making it all much more difficult as if anyone has tried doing a math final without even a sheet of formulas is a ‘migraine. Nevertheless, I feel that while not an ‘A’, the final will be enough to keep me on the honor roll, which was a goal at the beginning of this semester.

I also made some cookie-filled cupcakes with white chocolate and cream cheese frosting. At some point, the recipe card should be put up here sometime. One of those things that get done hopefully sooner than later. Also, Writers Conduit on Twitch ( I am on twitch @ MrBigTAnderson ) during the last weekend in June will have me as someone heading up the table about Milwordy. How to beat it, the challenges you would face, and how to get the most out of it.

Third Table in Two Years

Speaking of challenges, more are coming, and while some signs of my body going for the better, jaw spasms and tears are not in that count. It seems that disability or not, more physical force will be needed. If one wants to change the world, then one needs a change the world effort, and it does not care if the body can handle it or not.

Wanted – Several More Hours A Day

I usually would put down all the progress here, and while there is some, I do need to let some steam and have been playing a few games recently. Someone got me in Overwatch, and I have had a lot of fun playing as Baptiste, the healer the uses grenades to produce heals at a distance. Very fun; been playing some of the secondary styles of games, and I must say. People need a heavy dose of relaxation. I thought I was overdoing it sometimes. Still, when you need to yell at a team when a bunch of random people pick their choice, then no one will listen at all.
Playing some things, and that final step for the finishing touch has been found, so now I just need to find a way to do it as quickly as possible because each batch will take roughly 18 days. The reason for that was after some tests and handing out for some people to have, the plan was to make accessible for the mid-range market your mom and pop, Safeway, bigger supermarkets, some farmers markets, etc. No harm in making an excellent product, but the problem stands that I can also need to have that value reflected in the price. When one has an effect, and the price is too low than how it looks, people see it as something that has something broken or wrong with it. You can price yourself too low if it seems too good to be true, and for my products, the goal is to be the finest in the land. Instead of releasing it and it would have been a good seasoning. It wasn’t enough, though, so there had been something still to be done over the past few times. It seems that the final step may be found.
So now what? Well, making some food happen, and now with that last step found some work on the Kickstarter needs to be done. There is also a recipe that I think will really show the flavor of this seasoning. It is easy to make, delicious, and shows that my stuff is the best you can have in your kitchen. Yes, I hem and haw about things and not pull the trigger, but there is a point it needs to reach, and now it may be there.

Some experimentation in salt preservation


College is going as best as it can. However, it has been expressed that for everything that could be done, and while some can say my grades have been exemplary, there always seems to be a deficit of time on the list of things that needed to be done. In addition, honor roll is currently a goal, and learning how the writing can be formatted into books to sell on places like amazon and whatnot means another thing is needing time that I do not have.
Paperwork is now open for an attempt to be a state representative. While some things the government does baffle me, nothing can be said about blame if the paperwork is not filed. I do not give it a try.

Anywho stay strong.

Dark Chocolate Apple Truffles

So roasted apple powder is something I make myself but if you do not have it it is fine.

Yes I still cook just cant do it professionally. This is for something that is not a sugar bomb. Make ganache by mixing spiced apple cider mix and cream, heat that up to scalding and pour on your chocolate stirring until it is all melted and smooth. Chill until solid and roll to size before dropping in container and coat.

I make my own Roasted Apple powder and it is delicious if you do not have it. Ground apple chips in the food processor works, apple cider mix can be used again, or it can be omitted.

Of Spoons and Cards


Some may not know, but if you see someone online on Instagram, Twitter, or even in some of my own blog posts, you may see the word spoonie as a tag. The term was coined by another blogger. It was explained that each spoon represented the stores of energy that someone with a chronic condition or a condition that cannot be cured. So when you are out, you have to rest to replenish.
I never understood where spoons came out of, but I played enough cards that I used them for my understanding of it. It made more sense because you need to have cards to play trading card games. Something I have been in a lot of in my years. When you play those games, running out of cards in hand often is a death sentence to not having those pieces to work with in your hand. In fact, it made me want to think of a spoonie card game just so some people can understand what it is like.
Anytime someone can make others have fun and have it sit on a concept that can be then broken down when they want to. Sometimes we all need to look at some more serious things and can’t, but having a few laughs, it makes it that much more approachable. It is on the list of things that I need to work on but in my efforts to get everything done and be the renaissance villain trying to remake a crappy world into my own better ideas. I say that with the high-brow humor as is expected of me.


Redbubble store is going slowly, and now it’s just working on the back end, like formatting and experimentation for the new and improved blends, which currently as the basic salt is now being infused before being mixed as is the sugars makes me think we will have the most luxurious all natural flavorings on the planet. It takes time to make the best, but I am using things no one else is using and know I am working and layering to do and books still need to be formatted. Overall it’s just more and more to do, but progress, as you see, is being made, so I cannot complain. Much.
Still trying to get everything in a body that seems to feel that it has more than just half a used battery, but I think progress is enough to at least keep me happy and move up the diet and exercise, so it would be a little more taxing, so I can get myself in better shape, it is showing some signs.
Finally, there was a moment where just everything kind of connected, and there was something that made sense. You just have that moment where things seem like they are being pulled together, and it finally dawns on you the reason for all the practice. It is a eureka moment that allows you to finally grasp how all of what you are aiming for is coming together, like a cipher where only you have the answer to the code and to make it seem so simple to understand, no matter how brutal the execution may be. It was a bit of a nice moment. Now there just is the nasty habit of execution because all the hopes mean little.
Also, my aunt has been sick since the last post. I gave her some of the rolled truffles made initially for work, she loves dark chocolate truffles, and so I had saved her and my uncle some.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor

Tiring, school is very tiring, but we had some work done, so let us go over the basics. I have found some places I can sell artwork. I think Redbubble will be my choice for right now as I have not heard too much negative from my friends using them, so that is coming soon. We have a lot of different artwork and even a couple of designs. I have one for a couple of designs I came up with when I was dabbling, and with the art and some other things, it could be a time to push that a little further. It will be fun to say I have merch and whatnot.
One other thing I wanted to get done is to fix up a Milwordy document readable in both excel and open office that can keep track of your word count if you try Milwordy or are just wanting something to keep you honest over a time frame. Due to how much time it took to get all the graphs ready on the last page breaking down by every three-month block what heavy edits, light edits writing and how everything stacks up. I will have it on Gumroad for a price of one dollar. It took me a fair amount of time. It includes something for excel, open office, and a read me, so anyone who wants to try Milwordy can give it a round. So products are going well. A few more of those are being sold, and been looking through the logistics for something akin to a U.S made version of Alibaba, something where it can be mass made in country, and yet that sort of thing does not exist; I have found.
I would like to get three things done, but looking at prices and some health risks on the third thing, the first two may be what I can do this year, and that is to upgrade both my desk and my computer because right now I am currently working on my laptop that has had some issues but has been like a good dog, faithful and doing its best for all it needs to do. Been a lot of work, and now we just need to keep rolling on everything else that is done. For all the problems there have been going on, I feel that a lot can be made and really build a better future we had in mind. It may be a pipe dream, but we shall see in that case.
So if you are a writer and fancy yourself wanting to see how much you do over a period, I will try to have this up after the Gumroad account has it. It may take me a few moments until afterward, but I am working on it. I am happy to see that it may be something to make a little money for writers. It may be late at night for me and maybe for you the day it comes out, but I hope you take a look and if you want to write and keep track then.

https://gumroad.com/js/gumroad-embed.js


Trying to make things happen. Stay strong, everyone.

Tired. So Tired

I have a lot of projects currently almost done and there is always more to do, and soon it feels like there is never enough time in the day to figure it all out. Learning more about business and what is needed to make what is personally wanted without killing myself with taxes or other things. Just trying to do it in Oregon especially close to Portland is like trying to enter an ass kicking contest on one leg and then try to stay on said foot. It is much more difficult then it needs to be and the market is not something that makes it easier so with all that there is a need to figure out finances which luckily have been enough for me to get this far.

When everything hurts though there is a point I have learned where you get tested, when it feels like spikes going through your legs and your body can barely move but everything has a price of pain whether nerve or muscular or something and you need to write a paper and you miss a quiz and your workout hurt but the intel on the stores to start selling in places. Then you need to research things and then you have to watch a ninety minute thing for a project and wondering if a version can be found to watch at double speed, because, yes listen to all new or nonfiction videos on Youtube like that and no that will not change. If it isn’t music then it needs to be doing it faster. Funnily enough it does work for me and if a deeper watch is needed, then one can take a look over the few seconds and minutes until the deeper details are found, and often still get done before the video would do.

There will be moments when you are pushed to your limit and you will realize what those moments are. People can quit but when you try to to make it through it does something a lot different then if you quit and in some way that is more in line with my own bouts of work fueled madness that makes me happy to have them. In those moments people will be tested and through my experience it can be found to be thankful for that test because without it is a question if I will never make it to the points my goals sit if in those moments the choice chosen is not to continue but to quit.

Pardon for the odd emotional outpouring, anywho, eve though projects will be hitting points soon, there is still somethings to keep moving because one thing I have learned about myself is that there will never be a point where enough is enough, there are always more things to do and to learn and better yet, when those moments come where the finish line is reached for a major portion if not an entire project. Learning that you can do it because a loud over-bearing egotistical person could do it and you might as well is something that personally, I hope more people do.

Do you have any songs that you listen to when you kind of need to get in a good head space to cause some havoc on your tasks, get some major progress down, competition maybe? One of mine is the Godzilla theme because large lizards, and I like large lizards so simple reason but it works for me.

So, what is done since last time and last week was my birthday so no article. Hope you all had a good week. Got some writing done on a d/d campaign and did more work for the kickstarter thing to start, there is some character sheets done for a manga and beginning to work on some music so while this may be late at night currently there is six full books that need to be formatted because it sounds like doing the self publish is the better route right now. Overall things are moving, more progress should be coming.

Stay Strong.

Trying To Do It All

Some days I feel like I am made more out of duct tape, bubblegum, and gorilla glue than whatever actually counts as a human. Over the past three months, I have had my neck pop off calcium crystals and after that had TMJ spasms that had full-on ripped things from my neck to the point where I had to cease all weightlifting exercises and stop working with my weighted vest.

Been learning how to use some AI art tools and my Instagram should show those as of late. It’s not my usual stuff but it does use my talents in another way so I cannot complain and I like working with it. Despite all the progress it sucks when I get injured and have to take more time to heal up if I could just at least get to a point where I do not have to worry about health issues and then being hurt. Pain or not things need to keep moving otherwise will be as bad as they have always been

Ai art here 

Not bad for Ai and ME

What can be done though? I do my best and try what I can all for the sake of making headway and just try to get out of my own way when I need to heal up. That is all I can do now, heal up and do other things to make sure to get my exercise and work on the projects as I need to and one of them is going to be the inside garden I need to make. It has been one of the things needing to get done but everything else has been getting pushed back. We have gotten a couple things growing though, and you know it is nice to enjoy the small bits of progress when one can. 

Progress is being made and it looks like the milwordy will be hit before the seventh month. It will be very difficult to be clear as to the halfway point but let me put it in perspective. A million words is a challenge and as of right now let me go over things that have been done. Just to put it in perspective as to what has been in that million words so far not that I have hit at 800k

41 fanfiction, including edits –https://www.fanfiction.net/~bigtanderson you can check those here 

A year of blog posts – rather loose on the meaning of creative, but even in nonfiction one has to be creative and I think if you show the writing from the start of November to now you will find a big difference.

A children’s book – https://mrtanderson.gumroad.com/l/WGdSA

2 semesters of creative writing projects, because, yes I have been going to college while I have been doing this.

2 book drafts finished

9 light edited

2 heavy edited

With several more to go.

In one year even the stupid book of insults had been something that added to the profile. I can say I will hit the goal because unless I got knocked into a coma for six months the finish line is well within range and that is good to know but we can try and push even harder and get it done before my birthday.

My birthday is May 1st. While everything is going on if I can do this in the next will be five days if I release it on time. Before that, I will not be able to do much on Sunday as that is my day with my uncle. That means I roughly have 9 days to do what I need to do with everything and to make it all possible. That would be a hard ask and probably is not going to happen but it should be able to happen before the end of May. Even to hit a million by month seven would be a sure feather in my cap I found a few more people that had done it, but I am also developing a book file to work in excel or an open office for people to chart their own writing over a year.

I have had some time to think on the point of the Indiegogo with a couple people I know who had run some successful ones and I think that will be the next project to work on behind the scenes and start getting it out there. I think we are ready to make that happen. Tweaking and working that is next on that list and the next twitch project is the music run with all that keeping classes high is going to be important because to make it on the honor roll even starting off at a community college where I am getting some progress made.

All in all, I feel I should be happy, but there is still some specter making me think not to count it until it is over the finish line. Maybe that is the kind of person I am but in any case, this month there had been a writing competition on Twitch. Yes, I am on twitch, and yes I am about as nonserious as one would expect, this is really one of my most serious points. I am rambling I just wanted to get some thoughts off with Portland being what it is right now.

Stay strong.

Musings of Home

You know what I loved about Portland. There always seemed to be something to learn, you could be someone trying to do their best and it just seemed if you knew where to look Portland had everything to get to the next level in you crafts. There had been so much to learn and do and it felt that you could pull yourself by your bootstraps and make yourself something because there was and were for a long time things too numerous to count going on around the city. It had problems, but it had a charm that made it a place I loved to call home.

I don’t know as it stands right now if my home will ever bounce back because for as much as the twitter profiles of the city commissioners are crowing about how they should be reelected because the city has been made safer. Over the past three years specifically to Joann Hardesty but to the others look at the P.R. and the city’s own count to things. If you look at that and tried to tell people things were getting safer. Look at the city report and if you still say it is safer I got bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

https://www.opb.org/article/2022/03/17/portland-leaders-address-continued-gun-violence/

https://www.portlandoregon.gov/police/81203

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/feb/27/portland-shooting-extremism-america-predictable

I hear people defending her saying she was not responsible for the police. She was responsible for the fire department, the same fire department that had not been able to get to all those fires lit in the riots. She was the right hand for the mayor Ted wheeler, we went over him multiple times. She is in charge of education and the fire department and during all of this she is both part of a group to help make Portland as good as it can be and according to her defenders far enough away from the mayor despite working with him on how to defund police (she was a proponent of that in Portland).

She worked with the mayor on this and she wanted to take control of the police department and yet people defend her saying how she was too far being the person was essentially fill in mayor. At some point the time has to come for people who with a history of failure should not be left in power and 3-4 years is more then enough for me. Where people seem to not understand is that this is not something that has to have a figurehead, you need to have someone who can get the job done.

I am watching this next election very very closely because if people can look at her and look at all the other people wanting to give it a crack and still think she is the best option then I need to maybe look from that as political path. My home needs help but I cannot fix things as fast as someone else can screw it up. Did that with my roommate and honestly I am not going to lose time like that again.

Stay strong.