handicapped

Last Post of the Year

2021 is coming to an end, and like many times in the year, my jaw is quivering because of a spasm. Still, this year has a lot of highs and lows, and it seems more stuff is rolling, and we are now left here with an idea of what we had to go through in the last year and hopes for the future.

This will be the last message for me for the year, and I will write again for the blog in 2022, and hopefully, there will be much more stuff to go over. It will be difficult for some when we get into the new year, but I do hope that you will make as much progress and even more than me. Do the things you want to do and go for something you never thought possible.

My health will continue to be bad, and while that may take me out of action for a couple of days, it seems that if I can just keep going, there is something more. Some people over the year have claimed me to be one of the strongest they know, and honestly, I do not feel like it. Maybe, that is something that I can shake off in the next twelve months. Do enough that I can look in the mirror and chase off the shadows.

As an end-of-the-year post, let me tell you this.

I have been deemed depressed, or however, the tag works. It is just me against the darkness behind my eyes, and sometimes it gets hard to keep moving. If I keep moving, though, there is something of looking for something, doing more and more, breaking down doors, and going up floors, they will never dispel from the core. Still, maybe for a moment of glory in the next chapter of my story, the pieces I find can make me feel whole again.

Between all the issues in the world and my own problems, there is always a chance that I will never be content with what I have done. That is something I have already made my peace with. However, sometimes some people are never happy with everything, and if I keep my eyes on the next thing, then maybe I can get enough done to make progress. A constant need to test and grow can be bad in some cases, but at least I have enough challenges in front of me that I won’t go without something to do for a while.

Alright, that was about as much super personal stuff we got on this one. I will see you all next time, folks. Hopefully, your new year goes well and like all the other times.

Stay Strong.

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Millwordy in 2022

I will be going back to college, I will be working on millwordy, I will be releasing books and whatnot and now it is just something where I am trying to put it all together in a time frame that does not make me feel like crap. The more things that need to get done the more it is going to put my energy to the limits and moving forward.

Through workouts and taking vitamins and trying to eat better I have gotten some usage back, but there is still the part of my body where always want more but I think that may just be a personality defect, no matter how much I try it will always be something where I want to try to do more. So I may have a few more books coming out I guess and I am hoping I can release one next year. That would be a good plan.

One million words and so many plans and goals had been going now and it seems these next twelve months will seem to be important for the rest of my life and looking at that it makes me a little nervous. Failure here may be something where I cannot get back, but making this year work. To a new year of challenges and hopefully of goals being hit, and of hopefully life getting better despite the world trying to get worse.

Will explain more next week.

Stay Strong and Merry Christmas.

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Progress at Any Length

Three products were designed and worked on to the point where I can feel like selling them.

One is a salt substitute that includes some different dried mushrooms ground to powder and a pinch of white pepper. If salt does it, then this combination, after a process, brings out more flavor than ever. It takes a full day from when the mushrooms come into when I can put them in the seasoning, and that is, although time-intensive, the flavor it brings is second to none. I have done some light testing against similar products, which are not many, and honestly, I feel like mine tops the heap.

The second one is sugar and a mix of roasted vegetables, fruits, and garlic with a bit of brown sugar. Put that together, and it becomes a mix that works on anything and has a sweet, savory balance that works on meats and roasted vegetables and even some panna cotta. It does not blast other foods or seasonings you are enjoying. No matter how much you eat, it does stand up to anything I have thrown at it making it a perfect co-star in the spice cabinet.

Last is something I tripped over, taking some of the two blends and a couple of extra things and turning them into a spice rub that turned out some of the best barbecue I ever made. Three products, and right now, I cant make a whole lot. It takes at least a full day to cook them down and grind them to powders, so there is that, but I also will have a powdered soup stock as my next item to try.

I still need to find a price point that people can understand. I mean, if someone can make all your food taste good, how much would you pay for it? For restaurants, if I can provide you a flavor profile that would take you hours and take anything next level, how much?

Price points have been an issue of mine before, so it will take some time to research them. However, I have tried selling things at too cheap, and people that there was something wrong with it, and it was a price I had initially thought to be fair.

I had a meeting with a score mentor to go over some of the things I will need to find out about my products to succeed. Of course, there always seems to be things to do, but if you go to my stream and look at my banner, you will see something. A grid behind the big T and in the filled squares is something of a collage, each one representing something I have done as a streamer.

So many questions to answer, but we made it farther than we were last week, so progress is something at least.

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Handicapped and Homeless- Prepare for Hard Mode

Warning this goes over some graphic moments, I warned you.

Hope everyone enjoyed the holiday.  My neck had been really acting up and trying to give it some time to rest I decided to lay down all memorial day and it got me to thinking. After applying some Bengay just to get me to not notice the pain and after a look through of my articles I realized there wasn’t anything just what was the difference between healthy and handicapped while homeless.

Short version of that is just life is harder, there are no major benefits or charities at least in my area targeting handicapped homeless. That means a lot of them have to get the jump on everything versus other homeless that are physically healthy. For your information my body has nerve damage throughout resulting in about half my nerve function to be gone and resorting for me to walk with a cane. It didn’t matter when I tried to get help. Everyone had some one else they would rather help out more.

Dental, if you could get on state insurance and manage it, well you have clinics deny you as the Virginia Garcia Clinic in Cornelius denied me because they needed to take…

“Women, mothers and family are allowed to come in as customers at this time, unfortunately we are not taking any men.”

When my teeth broke, for various reasons, that meant I had to pull pieces out and the only way that could be done was the pair of pliers on my multi tool.

ozrk trail

This is the model of mine, an ozark trail multi tool, could be better but as served me well.

Trying to get help for housing I had gone to one charity that during my meeting I had passed out and had to be removed via ambulance. Keeping their eye on the ball they preceded to leave the paperwork on a desk for two weeks before sending it back and saying after they had stamped it, that I had never done it specifically that I could not be verified and needed a letter fro ma vocational rehab counselor. That letter was the first page of what was sent back You know it is bad when even a Vocational Rehab counselor was calling it bullshit when she is trying to be the calm presence.

Disability, something that is supposed to be there for people who meet the requirements had been so stymied in the area that the first meeting with a full breakdown from a neurologist at a specializing hospital, and a head of ER backed with other nurses, counselors, and another federal board looked at it saying clearly disabled. Meanwhile, SSDI ruling came for me last time and said I could go in to production. This is despite passing out at times, low blood pressure, can’t feel most of your fingers and some days different pieces of your body feeling like its tazed or on fire.

I have heard this from thousands of others and the disability I asked Senator Ron Wyden and he did not have an answer. People afterwards shook my hand and thanked me for those who had issues and who died waiting. The senator had no answer, but we did get a picture together, and if you check my instagram, you will find it, lost some fat since then bulked up a little, less facial hair, but it is still me.

When you are handicapped and homeless prepare to fight against the world. Work to show them of what a homeless person can do. Through the process you will find your mettle as well as your ability to continue.

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