Feeling Nothing but Hate

Let me tell you a small story, a long time ago, a young boy was abused by his family, he had been beaten daily, past discipline, his joints were twisted, his being concussed multiple times and due to his size when he begun going to school other kids had tried to further the damage. Making an example in his first able time to defend himself he broke a classmate’s wrist who tried to put him facedown in the bark.

Years passed and the fights continued, being part of a town going through a drug boom facilitated the ease of fighting and a police department so dirty and hands off had only made one needed to brawl at times.

He was known for brutality in fights and was willing to injure himself and others to make a point. Things had happened he lost people in horrible ways and it stung him deeply. After the last funeral he went to he thought the world was against him. That is the point we are talking about because a lot of people may be feeling this in their lowest, that their world that they inhabit actively hate them and that those who do not agree with them are the enemy.

From that story let me give this piece of advice of anyone with that exact mindset thinking the world can be reforged if enough anger is cast at it blindly. It won’t. You will hurt your own cause enough that you will be deemed a failure and a fool in relation to it. Anyone on the basis of that cause will look at you and deem you unfit to even be made knowledgeable of any coming changes in your direction, and some will take the hatred you have garnered from your own actions or lack there of and deem you the problem.

Blm, Antifa and the Proud Boys are groups with exactly that, both sides have actual problems and both have insults flung at them from the other just for the sake of emotional prizes and it just does not work.

Be mad, sure, think the world hates you? Most times it just doesn’t care, but if you can focus it on positives then make it work. For that to be achieved it is something that needs to work for all sides. Of the conflict. Focus your anger at the trappings of the cycle rather then those who execute and you will find your capabilities much more warmly received.

Alright enough of the Dr. Phil talk.

Stay Strong.

Handicapped and Homeless- Prepare for Hard Mode

Warning this goes over some graphic moments, I warned you.

Hope everyone enjoyed the holiday.  My neck had been really acting up and trying to give it some time to rest I decided to lay down all memorial day and it got me to thinking. After applying some Bengay just to get me to not notice the pain and after a look through of my articles I realized there wasn’t anything just what was the difference between healthy and handicapped while homeless.

Short version of that is just life is harder, there are no major benefits or charities at least in my area targeting handicapped homeless. That means a lot of them have to get the jump on everything versus other homeless that are physically healthy. For your information my body has nerve damage throughout resulting in about half my nerve function to be gone and resorting for me to walk with a cane. It didn’t matter when I tried to get help. Everyone had some one else they would rather help out more.

Dental, if you could get on state insurance and manage it, well you have clinics deny you as the Virginia Garcia Clinic in Cornelius denied me because they needed to take…

“Women, mothers and family are allowed to come in as customers at this time, unfortunately we are not taking any men.”

When my teeth broke, for various reasons, that meant I had to pull pieces out and the only way that could be done was the pair of pliers on my multi tool.

ozrk trail

This is the model of mine, an ozark trail multi tool, could be better but as served me well.

Trying to get help for housing I had gone to one charity that during my meeting I had passed out and had to be removed via ambulance. Keeping their eye on the ball they preceded to leave the paperwork on a desk for two weeks before sending it back and saying after they had stamped it, that I had never done it specifically that I could not be verified and needed a letter fro ma vocational rehab counselor. That letter was the first page of what was sent back You know it is bad when even a Vocational Rehab counselor was calling it bullshit when she is trying to be the calm presence.

Disability, something that is supposed to be there for people who meet the requirements had been so stymied in the area that the first meeting with a full breakdown from a neurologist at a specializing hospital, and a head of ER backed with other nurses, counselors, and another federal board looked at it saying clearly disabled. Meanwhile, SSDI ruling came for me last time and said I could go in to production. This is despite passing out at times, low blood pressure, can’t feel most of your fingers and some days different pieces of your body feeling like its tazed or on fire.

I have heard this from thousands of others and the disability I asked Senator Ron Wyden and he did not have an answer. People afterwards shook my hand and thanked me for those who had issues and who died waiting. The senator had no answer, but we did get a picture together, and if you check my instagram, you will find it, lost some fat since then bulked up a little, less facial hair, but it is still me.

When you are handicapped and homeless prepare to fight against the world. Work to show them of what a homeless person can do. Through the process you will find your mettle as well as your ability to continue.

Why So Mad, Trolls?

So I read my news and people are angry. I watch my videos and people are angry in the comments. I exchange some tips on forums I am a regular on and others are mad because the correct use of the oxford comma. Which got me to thinking.

If so many people are angry then why is there very little being done about it?

People feel safe to say things behind the keyboard then they would face to face with someone. Although I never really understood that.

I will never say I am a tough guy, but at least I understand how the joints work normally and how they work when someone is trying to pull them in a way they are not meant to ever bend. Does that make me tough? No, that makes me sore with knees made of candy corn depending on the day. I have given some punches and taken a few or more so what is the point of everyone thinking they need to be so angry while on the internet. Does trying to play the tough guy get you some kind of discount at the local supermarket? Do barbed insults lower the utility bills? Is there some kind of magical machine that turns randomly spouted hate in to some viable energy ready to lower your electric bill?

No?

Then what is the point?

We have ourselves an information superhighway capable of talking to people on the other side of the world with a couple of finger twitches and can find groups of people with our same likes to talk with and still grow our social abilities. Why don’t we just enjoy what we have and if you have to say something to someone clearly wanting attention ask yourself this.

“If I say this now will I be happy I said it tomorrow and ok to show it to people I care for and respect?” If the answer is no then it is not the best idea to say it. I am not perfect on this either, but a moment may happen many just shows the trash in the spirit of whomever you are dealing with.Just my thoughts, it was on my mind for a while.