Thoughts on School Senate

So for those who don’t know, I am a school senator for my community college. With everything going, it would be nice if something got easier. Then I had to hear the results from the first week and found two people past me.

Fuck.

Welp. Things get hard. You gotta get harder. With everything going on, my body will be made of diamonds for the rest of my life because there is not enough time to do it while everything is still getting done as of writing this, a lot of things are already coming in, and there is little idea what to do although some projects do need to get wrapped up some time and there had been some work done in quite a few things.

People have told me that things will need to take time and that it moves slowly. For those new here, I am the same person most people think would stop breathing if I stopped doing it. Makes this infinitely more difficult because slow means good in some cases, but sometimes things need to get done. With coming back from the pandemic, from going from online only for the most part to bringing people back, there is a lot that needs to be done, and time will be something that will not be friendly.

Agreements are had when something will need to go slow, but there are times one needs to hit the gas and move before one can’t, or one will lose momentum. We cannot have that because we can only be senators for a short time, a year, which means we have to put as much into it as possible. Does anyone else feel like a clock is running too quickly about their work or your projects? Right now, it feels like there is a lot getting done, but to counter the clock is right behind me. What can be done? I wish I knew, but right now, it seems there is movement on all fronts, so in that case, we gonna run for as much as we can til the wheels fall off.

Remember, winter is coming, and that means now more than ever. If you can get extra things to eat in case the power goes out or you have a way to light your fireplace, then now is the time to get it in order. We have had some in storage here, and while you do not need a lot, make sure you have some to rely on in case things go badly.

Stay warm and stay strong.

Two Months Left

November comes, and things change in the game of tomes. New forces want to make a name, and old ones want to re-establish why they had been around so long. I won the first time to show I could write. I won the second individual award to show that I belonged. Since then, life has gotten only more chaotic and more painful. I am a senator of the student body in my community college. Now, as it stands, I will be moving forward as the only two-time winner competing because of events in between the competitions.

The other one, who was in my house also, had not been able to continue moving forward. We have a new leader in my house, and now I am the elder. I am the person with the longest tenure. My house has never been the house that won, and now we need to be a major player more than ever. So my goal is half a million to do half a million words or edits in thirty days when it was such a problem a year ago to do a million.

The first time was to try, second was to show I belonged. Each time the past few have been a problem because there has been more that takes my energy, and last time I pushed so hard my hands cramped up and needed days of rest just to loosen. I need to beat that score by about 80,000. Now, it is a small thing in life. Still, I never really counted myself as a writer and not even a good one at times. I need to work on self-depreciation, but this is a moment where if I want to show people they can through my action, I need the victory. There are enough projects I can do, and there are enough ways to work on them. It is just about if I have enough time and energy to do it on top of everything else.

Normally my writing has not been about me, or at least efforts were made to not have to be so self-focused. This is more just my thoughts because it hurt last time to finish, but it hurt more to finish second. In the time between events editing and polishing have been a focus, but there needs to be a victory here, to be the first to three. Not because of force but to show that I am genuinely about what I say I am, another piece of advice in a time seemingly ready to spin falsehoods. I want people to look at me in competitions and take a crack if that makes them better people. To be the one that people look to in something and goes, ‘if he can, then so can I”. To do it, I need to constantly push myself. Here is something where the victory individually needs to be mine.

The goal for this event is that there needs to be 50k every three days, no missing any, and no time off for thirty days. Something that I, three years ago, would have thought to be a fool’s errand.
I was close last time, I did the math, and if there was health for thirty days, I would have been brushing against it then. I have to find a way to make myself the machine I need to be to finish and then look at the plans for the next goals and see where my next steps are. That will be after this because a lot of work will need to be done.

This will not be so polished because there is doubt, and some portion is unsure if it can be done. There is no place it can stop me; it will just be me trying, and hopefully, it is enough. Afterward, the work can be done into something people can enjoy. I hope this month there is something you can go for as passionately as I go for mine, and if you do not, may I hope you find it.

Sorry for the thought vomit. I just had to get some things out.
Happy Halloween, and Stay Strong

July is Over

There is a level where you do something, and there seems to be a part of you that wants to do the chaos dance, especially against a specific group. In Genshin Impact, the term ‘chaos mage’ may be familiar. For those who would play it, they would be in a single element, often shielded, and make your life that much worse in game. Out of game, a chaos mage is someone who does something intricate to anger or tweak the nose of a group. So there is a writing project that will add to the books to get everything even more chaotic, but this is something I had a giggle fit when listening to everyone talk about the lore of World of Warcraft, something I know less than some breakfast dishes about. An idea came that I should take the most egregious of the lore spinners. Such spinners think their crap doesn’t stink, and they own the book on all things within the universe and tweak their nose to the point they crack under pressure or laugh at the absurdity of my work.

On top of that, there is a bit of fun that will be a little later as this is also being used to pad my word counts a touch because let us say things in the writing competition I am in as come down to in the third week a difference of over 150 words. All the projects need formatting, getting to the point of hilarity. Remember, there is a large, almost nutty pile of things that can be formatted and worked on to their release, and it is getting to the point where things are silly if I do not. This does not mean they are great works of fiction, but over time I think they have gotten better from the first drafts. I need to get a lot of these out soon. After that, I will need to look at my classes and my projects, but something about competing is what I missed. It reminds me of who I was once and who I can be again, and for the briefest moments, I forget the pain and feel like I can charge one more time. I will be the first three-time winner, but oh boy, it will be tough to do it. Through this whole thing, it looks like I will be close to a million not in a year but in three individual months, and that is more than I ever thought done. If my score ends at 333k, that will mean there will be something to the tune of 850 thousand words written and edited in three months, and that will be amazing writers groups or not.

With that kind of fire, there are projects that will make a dip in the water, and there is excitement coming through me. It will not be an easy fight, someone is trying to make their second victory in this, and they had competed in one of the first events. Who wins, the old guard looking to show they can make a comeback or the current champ? Mind you, a rival is gaining steam. A shadowy writer is trying to catch up, so all of this converges at one moment where people can all try, and only one person will win. I will talk about how I did next week from this post, but like any day with a blog post, it must end with something.

Stay Strong.

Tunnel Vision on the Finish Line

There are moments in your life when talking really has to stop. When a goal is right in front of you and all you can do is just stretch yourself and grasp it. After every pain and practice you took to be good at something it was within that moment it all added up and those extra inches, and moments added to all you could do making you seem more then your usual self. Despite all the good and bad in the world it takes so much focus that you cannot see much else except on the task in front of you and what it means to you. It could be something big or something small.

I love these moments because there is no place for me to soften the sting of failure, I did it or I failed and good competition makes it something where you have to rise to the challenge. When you look in the mirror and there is no more talking and there is a bizarre calmness where you have to just do it and there is nothing else that can be done. You could be crippled or poor but they cannot take you away from you and making yourself work to the best of your strengths and lose the least from your weaknesses is something that can make you smile because you have a chance.

So let me answer why these writing events are like that for me. Because, all three months, all three events had been under different circumstances and had enough to deal with. One I didn’t even know if I was a writer, two was when it only mattered to me and I matched the only other person out of hundreds of possible people who had won twice. This one, means I have to keep everything going to such a degree where I cannot fail because if I do then everything fails. I am currently an honor student, I am in summer classes. I am working part time and I am training to get in better shape. All of this in the same time frame, day by day and work on your projects, your food, your music and your stream do it all and do not let anything go one inch back. It makes me smile because it is just the level of crazy that I would approve of, and the thing when it is done like this. When people make excuses there is some attempt to mar it but the sheer amount, the sheer volume and list of everything done is something where people can try to make excuses but it would only make them look foolish.

You may do badly and tell everyone it was a conspiracy, but let us be honest you know better. Good or bad sometimes you just are not at the level you want and you take that fire to grow and turn into something you are proud of. Change is coming and there is a point where you instead of running away from it just brace you feet and start running knowing win or lose with whatever comes you may make some memories and you have just that inkling of that faith in you because you made it through harder times, through more painful times, through, more depressing times, and you still finished to the best of your ability.

There is something maddening and yet something not because when you run hot you feel it through you. You know you are running like a fine tuned machine and hiccups aside this is as good as you will get at this time and now people or yourself has to deal because there is no chance you are letting this time, that practice and all that work go to waste. Is the world gonna suck? Always, to some degree, but you have control over you and how you react and some can be happy and bubbly and some not but you can do this and make it happen all you have to do is push a little more. Stretch yourself and grab the banner at the finish line on your goals. People may not get it and they do not need to, if goals were easy everyone would do it, and a lot of people do not do a darn thing.

Find something and start pushing because the world is gonna change and you might as well do it, because you never know what you can do sometimes if you just go.

Stay strong and write your legend.

One More Time in Tourney of Tomes

No, I am not getting into the supreme court decisions at this time. I have had to explain no less than three separate times when even those on Twitter cannot argue the points. The actual facts, well, I am going to take the time and go over things because otherwise, it has been a good week, and people can get doom and gloom anywhere else. So for this moment, the move seems to be to take the time and go over the positives because more stuff got done, and for everything to progress, there are still things to learn.

July, the target is to claim the Game of Tomes top spot for the third consecutive time and have more books, more things, and all of what could be done. After that, nothing else could be done, and paperwork is getting in to join the student senate, granted at community college. Still, all things start at one point or another. If for the third time, my name stands at the top of the individual board, that means not only done three separate times, not only back to back, but it would be for twelve months straight. My first was in the November competition last year, then the tourney of tales after that, and from the first day of the previous Game of Tomes to the next, it will be one full year. Getting this third event means that for 365 days, the top writer and editor on Twitch is me since for at least another full year, at a minimum, no one would be able to do it. I am the second to do it back to back, but three times means something a little more, allowing me to knock out more stuff off the writing list.

News from the doctor came back bad because while there was a lot of good seen from the diet and exercise regiment, there was a fear that pushing to join any strongman events this year would be a risk too many and so has said as of now unless a severe change can be done that clearance will not be granted. That hurts but is understandable and does not stop the physical process of trying to better myself. It just means it may take longer.

Added is also a link to the nexus page https://www.nexus.gg/mrbigtanderson a game storefront for creators where a small portion of it goes to me. Do not push yourself, but every so often, it will change just to see, and sometimes a good deal will be there. Check if you are looking for something new. All of it has been something, and there is still a lot to do. There always is, so stay strong. 

Writing at Nyoom Speed

Writing, writing, writing. I have been writing a lot recently and it has added up to a few things that will be sold soon but right now we have to go over the little treats for you all. Two projects. One, a selection of fanfiction. I challenged myself to write and that can be picked up off of Gumroad, that is something you do not need to pay for, none of my Gumroad ones are. Just, if you do want to pay something I would appreciate it.

70k of words as short stories in 2k to 2.5k each about a character I have in the game, because I like the game, and that is enough for that right now. Share it, join me on twitch, (https://www.twitch.tv/mrbigtanderson) have a good time, but there is more that will be done in other things because you know I cannot rest for long periods of time. It just does not work well for me that way.

Also, after cost out it looks like I can sell each 4oz container by volume will be sold five dollars per but as one can see, there is a fair amount in each one and it will have flavors that will boost your food from the flat to the gold, but there is a video that is in the works. Five dollars per is at the high end of where I wanted it to be, and was within the range already in the stores. I still haven’t worked out the whole mail thing yet. Working on it, though, but it is a lot done in the month so far and we got a week and change to go.

We are going to get some stuff done, and hopefully have fun. It has been a rough road so far, but like everything you got to be more hard headed then your obstacles, and while I have had some low points, from the death of family members semi recently to issues with the body, it is still sweet to get a little progress. More is coming.

Stay Strong Everyone.

This is the face of nyoom. Speed unfiltered.