There are moments in your life when talking really has to stop. When a goal is right in front of you and all you can do is just stretch yourself and grasp it. After every pain and practice you took to be good at something it was within that moment it all added up and those extra inches, and moments added to all you could do making you seem more then your usual self. Despite all the good and bad in the world it takes so much focus that you cannot see much else except on the task in front of you and what it means to you. It could be something big or something small.
I love these moments because there is no place for me to soften the sting of failure, I did it or I failed and good competition makes it something where you have to rise to the challenge. When you look in the mirror and there is no more talking and there is a bizarre calmness where you have to just do it and there is nothing else that can be done. You could be crippled or poor but they cannot take you away from you and making yourself work to the best of your strengths and lose the least from your weaknesses is something that can make you smile because you have a chance.
So let me answer why these writing events are like that for me. Because, all three months, all three events had been under different circumstances and had enough to deal with. One I didn’t even know if I was a writer, two was when it only mattered to me and I matched the only other person out of hundreds of possible people who had won twice. This one, means I have to keep everything going to such a degree where I cannot fail because if I do then everything fails. I am currently an honor student, I am in summer classes. I am working part time and I am training to get in better shape. All of this in the same time frame, day by day and work on your projects, your food, your music and your stream do it all and do not let anything go one inch back. It makes me smile because it is just the level of crazy that I would approve of, and the thing when it is done like this. When people make excuses there is some attempt to mar it but the sheer amount, the sheer volume and list of everything done is something where people can try to make excuses but it would only make them look foolish.
You may do badly and tell everyone it was a conspiracy, but let us be honest you know better. Good or bad sometimes you just are not at the level you want and you take that fire to grow and turn into something you are proud of. Change is coming and there is a point where you instead of running away from it just brace you feet and start running knowing win or lose with whatever comes you may make some memories and you have just that inkling of that faith in you because you made it through harder times, through more painful times, through, more depressing times, and you still finished to the best of your ability.
There is something maddening and yet something not because when you run hot you feel it through you. You know you are running like a fine tuned machine and hiccups aside this is as good as you will get at this time and now people or yourself has to deal because there is no chance you are letting this time, that practice and all that work go to waste. Is the world gonna suck? Always, to some degree, but you have control over you and how you react and some can be happy and bubbly and some not but you can do this and make it happen all you have to do is push a little more. Stretch yourself and grab the banner at the finish line on your goals. People may not get it and they do not need to, if goals were easy everyone would do it, and a lot of people do not do a darn thing.
Find something and start pushing because the world is gonna change and you might as well do it, because you never know what you can do sometimes if you just go.
Stay strong and write your legend.