Offensive Interference

When reality decides to interfere it can feel like you had all momentum stopped and then all you can do is look at where you are and see what stopped you and grit your teeth wondering that some foolish person or thing could not tell when you had been working on something and decided to throw the spanner in the works. It means a lot when you looked at what you had and something comes out of the blue taking away what you did and now you have a project where you have to get the energy to push the boulder up the hill all in the hopes of bringing your project to completion.

You will feel aggravated, angry, furious and there is a point where you may want to use your emotions and simply blow up at everyone who is causing you problems when you have that moment it will be hard to take that emotional energy and instead of using it and cause more negative you put it towards something.

Take a moment and get your beath and then get yourself back to work and use all the venom and vigor from whatever happened and try to make something happen with it. Sometimes this means you just need to tell people to turn tail and pound sand until the deserts are empty. There are moments where such things are all you can do and keep the momentum but it does feel good when you take that pain or anger for anything and you put it in your project.

For me, I had issues with my roommate that took me to use the patience of several saints and not go bonkers when everyone wants to seemingly act like screaming turkeys. When one person in a group has to be the adult or even the human of a group during a situation like that for any period of time.

Breaking down what she had come down from whatever she was on and there had been a conversation that I could not use what little energy I had left trying to go through some of the incidents she had with her friends and others around her and I could not fix things when she decided to fly off the handle. This has been a situation that had been getting progressively worse over the past few months and while I tried to play ball there was so much still to do that I had to look at myself and realize I need to focus on myself more than others because I cannot let people take the majority of my energy and care.

Something else I had learned is no matter what you want to do you have to realize that loyalty is like a precious resource and when people invest it into you. You should invest it in return but when people decide you can’t invest in them you really need to take that time and energy and return it to investing it in yourself.

That means that we have some things coming and obviously I need to move so with that I hope I can find somewhere that is more secure to work on my stuff, but overall progress is progress so I will take it.

Stay Strong.

First O’ The Year.

The new year and it already feels like there is a lot of uncertainty in the world. Working on a lot of things it makes me wonder what the year has in store for me and I can only hope that a lot is going to come and part of something that has been the big problem for me has been my youtube channel.

I don’t know what people will want to see on the site and looking at my channel that has been around for a while and at this point I do not know what to do with it. I want to have something with it and it has just been something where there should be something and the time has changed that I will do more on Twitch then YouTube and I want to do something here, I just don’t feel that gaming is it for me here, right now.

Enough of the down, here is what is going on Millwordy is going to be fun, college classes are on for later this month and I am excited and I am looking at getting the business plan polished because we need to figure out how to get some money and how to get these products to more people. We have had some good talks so far and the end of the year has ended with some high notes when it comes to restaurants starting with orders.

Writing is going to be big and depending on how I can get to other projects there may be much more coming, but I also have to learn a couple things on those ways. In any case I hope you all find yourself a happy new year and things do get better in your lives.

Ever play Jet Set Radio Future? I love that game, when I think of being part of a group it is really that game because each character had their own personality but they came together for their own group. That and DJ Professor K was awesome. Video games have such an ability to go into depth of story and honestly I do not think we even scratched far beneath the surface on it. I hope to get to the point I can help produce them but that will be something down the road. Not as far as it was last year but sometime down there still.

Anywho I hope you all enjoy and I will be here next week 😀

Stay Strong

November Begins.

Mentally I have constantly pushed ways to get better, and mental is a part of the game like everything else.

For those who do not know, I am disabled. I don’t think I have advertised it as much, but I haven’t hidden from it either. More of my nerve system is damaged than not, and that is always trouble, leading me to what we can call some unusual situations. Like dealing with disability judges, I bring part of this up because, for those who don’t know, I am getting close to 8 years fighting for a disability that we have medical testing. We have multiple examinations in favor.

I was told I could go into production with nerve damage in my hands, fingers, passing out, and vertigo spells.

I was told I could be a welder. This is not a joke, lets take Mr. McCrabclaw and then give him explosive fuels because nothing could go wrong. Let that be a lesson that if you can’t read and can only count to 1, you can always get a judge’s position in disability. Glad to know that the support net is there for them. What bothers me is that my story isn’t even the worst I have heard, I have gone to town halls and city meetings on this, and no one can tell me why this is the case.

You know how bad I feel when people look at me and see someone who represents them I feel horrible because I am not good at it. I am a loudmouth who used to cook and saw a load of bs where people said the disability system is.

However, it is educational because in a time where people have to seem to each have their own thing. Maybe, as the idea has been rattling in my brainpan, that I could perhaps do something because I am making progress, and I will do so until I cannot any further.

Also, I need to cost out, but I also need to work on writing projects, and it is NaNoWriMo, the month I am just trying to get to 75k in words across my projects so I can finish up as many projects as I can. Typing this on the first, I am already 10% of the way with this post. It will be a big month, and I need to step up to the plate.

It seems each month I need to go another level, and at this point, I am in what some would call the ‘fuck it’ territory, which can be best described for those who do not know with the picture below.

If you like my work, share it, talk about it and catch me on other places online, and I hope you all stay strong.

Learning the Rules of Business

I do not know how to do business.

I know how to make deals. Trading is within my wheelhouse just fine but I do not know how to take what I can do and start something new with it. Knowledge and skill just don’t fall in to the formula mentally for me to know that path.

Been listening to a few different podcasts and YouTube videos and he said a line that at least I think, taught me something important. Paul Heyman is, for those who do not know is a wrestling promoter and personality, that has done a fair amount in a lot of different places. Content, financing, and distribution are three things he deems the most important in reference to the business. He was on Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Ranch and it was just also a lesson in something else.

Until it happens, until the money is in your account, do not count on anyone honoring to their word, as he regaled those with how the pay-per-view company held more then two million dollars when they needed it and the company in charge of the ppv distribution thought it would be cheaper to handle it in court versus just paying them what had been earned from their contract.

Those three things if I can hammer out and make sure that I am not going from one paycheck to another should be a good set of things to start my future businesses. After that then the first things would be how to get money to invest into my business when for all intents and purposes I’m broke as a joke.

Always something to do. It seems no rest for the wicked, but I will stop here for now. Stay strong everyone.

Updates and decisions

So apologies for the rant, in better news we have more videos up on the youtube channel for people who want to learn magic. The third batch of designs are about half way done and for the first recipe I wanted to show off on this blog I finally decided on a personal favorite. Eggs Magda!

Eggs Magda is a special version of scrambled eggs where the cheese and mustard match with the green onion or chive depending on what you have and the texture is so smooth you would think its like cream until you taste it. Completely done cheesy scrambled eggs french style coming at you soon.

Apologies for the short post. More later