When reality decides to interfere it can feel like you had all momentum stopped and then all you can do is look at where you are and see what stopped you and grit your teeth wondering that some foolish person or thing could not tell when you had been working on something and decided to throw the spanner in the works. It means a lot when you looked at what you had and something comes out of the blue taking away what you did and now you have a project where you have to get the energy to push the boulder up the hill all in the hopes of bringing your project to completion.
You will feel aggravated, angry, furious and there is a point where you may want to use your emotions and simply blow up at everyone who is causing you problems when you have that moment it will be hard to take that emotional energy and instead of using it and cause more negative you put it towards something.
Take a moment and get your beath and then get yourself back to work and use all the venom and vigor from whatever happened and try to make something happen with it. Sometimes this means you just need to tell people to turn tail and pound sand until the deserts are empty. There are moments where such things are all you can do and keep the momentum but it does feel good when you take that pain or anger for anything and you put it in your project.
For me, I had issues with my roommate that took me to use the patience of several saints and not go bonkers when everyone wants to seemingly act like screaming turkeys. When one person in a group has to be the adult or even the human of a group during a situation like that for any period of time.
Breaking down what she had come down from whatever she was on and there had been a conversation that I could not use what little energy I had left trying to go through some of the incidents she had with her friends and others around her and I could not fix things when she decided to fly off the handle. This has been a situation that had been getting progressively worse over the past few months and while I tried to play ball there was so much still to do that I had to look at myself and realize I need to focus on myself more than others because I cannot let people take the majority of my energy and care.
Something else I had learned is no matter what you want to do you have to realize that loyalty is like a precious resource and when people invest it into you. You should invest it in return but when people decide you can’t invest in them you really need to take that time and energy and return it to investing it in yourself.
That means that we have some things coming and obviously I need to move so with that I hope I can find somewhere that is more secure to work on my stuff, but overall progress is progress so I will take it.