Everything Else

Perfection and Impossible

One of my past coworkers is one of those people who is bright eyed and bushy tailed at least while at work. He would work from this desk with different pictures and sayings about driving one’s self trying to achieve perfection. We both had over our time at work found out we had a lot of goals that aligned and even just where we want to be in a few years were fairly similar, but the one thing we could never agree on was the subject of perfection.

If you like anime there is a show called Bleach where the main force is a group called the Gotei 13. It is a military group based on thirteen different squads each headed by a Captain who acts as both a leader of their own group while reporting to the captain of the first squad who also holds the title of Captain – Commander. One of these captains goes by the name of Mayuri Kurotsuchi. He was in a battle with a scientist from an opposing group who was very skilled at disabling opponents and after talking on the point of their shared interest in science they came to the point of perfection after the captain’s opponent claimed how he was the perfect scientist. Mayuri then ranted on the subject of perfection that I really had to agree on.

Here is a picture with the speech on it .

Perfection is the bane of imagination because after perfection there is nothing left. It is a condition of hopelessness when something is perfect. It does not mean you cannot strive to surpass yourself you can still try to improve, just be aware you will never be perfect.

When it comes to speaking I use impossible as many do perfect as one cannot know the odds about everything the argument can be fought how impossible is only limited by imagination and time. Impossible really can not be truly meant until you put against another abstract ideal.

Striving for better throughout your life was the only thing we could agree on whether the end we found to be abstract or within reach. The detail areound being perfect was just something that we both agreed to disagree.

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Shattered Reflections – Excerpt

Every week there was a semester being made up and over my year there at CALC my challenge was never lost. Testing was monotanous to a degree, but it was something I excelled in so it worked.While I was trying to salvage my grades there had been some who wanted to beat their chest before fighting for various reasons. To save space all of them will be here as there was not a grand fight among them.

One pair of gang banger wannabes were grabbing at a girl at lunch one day. She had come to talk to me to get them to stop. After trying once talking like human beings she had come out saying  and it ended with Harper kicking one in the skull while I tackled the other in the doorframe hard enough to break the doorframe.

Invented an armbar waltz when another male student tried to push a smaller female teacher around. The armbar waltz was just holding the standing armbar while I would negotiate him around spinning this way and that just to anger them and if I ever needed I could resort in to a hammerlock transition or give up the arm to take the leg.

One of the baby daddies thought he could sleap his girl around which is the theme of this place. Not a gang banger wannabe though he was a goth metal deadhead who got floored by a nut kick/ facejam combination then proceded to maon how that was fighting against the rules.

I did not understand such behaviors so Harper had to explain to me after another such incidents why people did such things. Supposedly it is because they think the girls are cute or they have some relationship with them, but I had to think that it would be much easier if they were treated like people first. Relationships were never a strong suit of mine. Thinking about such thing as the meaning of beauty or the understanding of the common students when I was choking someone out or grappling with them. No one got serious enough that a couple hits couldn’t stop. Put enough people on their head and eventually the message will sink in at least until the headache subsides.

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Not the right one

So recently I did an update of my bleesed bath salts and I have actually had some meetings with investors for small sums just to see if I can get some things going a little quicker. Brought my business plan to them, the numbers of possible sales, other companies in the field, profit margins, creation, possible advertising possibilities.I thought it was going well we had a good long discussion and what felt like suddenly to me was them saying thy like the plan. They like what it could build to and they think it can be done. They just believe that I am not the person for it, and due to that they would not invest.

I thanked them for the time, but inside I was boiling. I wasn’t the right guy. It rang in my head over and over. Until after that night I was up because it just made me mad. I wasn’t depressed at the time I thought I could pull it off. Now, for those who don’t know I do have bouts of depression where that feeling does come up and I do second guess myself.

It didn’t happen here. I couldn’t feel bad for myself. I am sure that it wil swing that way later but I made it through before and I will again. Dismissing someone as not good enough though made me wonder something for the future of my own businesses.

People nowadays go through life at speeds that taking in all the details, the little nuances of characters can be lost. It is after all through small nuances that different things can be found, tried, and applied and checked against the status quo to see what works best.

The possibility of a nuanced indidividual not being what people expect for a certain position and still have the skills made me think that workforce issues really boils down more to a workplace issue as well.

I really need to stop thinking of such things when people yell at me about how big their deposit is at work.

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What is beauty?

I have heard a lot of people talk about how they are pretty or are not. Their are a pair of brides to be that have been not feeling beautiful often trying to get themselves to lose weight to fit better in their dresses.

Being as I had no earthly idea of marriage, and they were more experienced as well as a reputation established for questioning previously established.I asked one why they would need to feel beautiful if by at this point the people who love you for your beauty is who you will be married to.

My first response back was how “that is such a guy answer!” Surprise, I thought I was turning in to Robo from Chrono Trigger. That’s this handsome creature below.

So as to be human one of the things you need to have is a gender one would think it is clear that upon giving such a supposed male answer that everything is ok? Right? Wrong. Although more then a few doctors have said I need to get my oil changed so maybe they know something I don’t.

What if though we can only percieve beauty in so many ways though clouded by things like our own wishes and desires. What if everyone does have their own beauty like a lock only for those who understand its value becoming the key would one dictate that someone is without such a thing when everyone seems to have a basis of it and hence some form of it?

Would it be closer to correct saying that oned id not understand some others model of beauty?

This is the stuff I think about when people yell about their deposit at work.

 

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Vent piece

So in trying to make this wordpress thing show what I want to it to show I may have sent a post twice. Sorry about that, if anyone was wondering why then it was just user error on my part most likely. Something got my attention and if you have been reading the news then maybe you already know where I am going with this.

Orlando. Never been there, and personally too humid for me. People who do live there had a horrible event unfold in their own backyard. A shooting of a nature undescribable by many against a crowd that just wanted to have a fun night. Someone had gone in to a club popular to many, and shot it up.

I felt mad, and I never been to Orlando. Personally I am not someone who believes in a homosexual lifestyle. I never got it. There are some things that everyone can understand though. If someone is happy in a lifestyle that does not outright hurt them or others then who am I to say they can’t. It is pretty hard to be happy in this life it seemes so if some people can do it by going a different route then groovy. Friends of mine as come out as gay, and it did not matter one bit, heroes of mine came out of the closet and it didn’t change one bit. I learned something new about them, but that didn’t change them.

Which is why Orlando gets to me not just for how much pain it has brought upon others. Some people think that because it was a lgbt club supposedly then it was okay. I don’t care what kind of a club it is. Someone killed people’s sons, daughters, best friends, squadmates, and a portion of the population believes because of one detail in their life that it is okay.

I came from a a life that some would seem as none too friendly. I have had had been shot at more then three dozen times without being a soldier or a police officer or even working in a job that makes you get close to guns. If there was a problem with someone you went to them and you hashed it out. sometimes with words and other times in more physical means. You fought it out and whoever walked away was the victor.

Now with some saying those people deserved it there are some calling for action against Muslims  in America. For those who read my post about the black lives matter thing you can guess where this is going. WE. ALL. MATTER. Some in different ways then others  with some being different value to others. It is not an Islamic attack it is an extremist group with no other way to speak except with guns and that is the saddest show of their intelligence. Life has been too bloody for my taste, and now others who never learned how to handle it get thrust head first in the grief just because of someone’s preferred fuckbuddies.

I am so angry though, not because of just the action but for the responses I see. Other then those trying to help or those sorry for what happeneed they seem to be matched with how some group should be punished.

Muslims are not to be punished. The qu’ran speaks how taking one life is like killing mankind and how one should compete in doing good. Christians who think because it was wrong to be gay that they should be shot can answer me this, what about the portions about treating others as brothers, loving happily, and allowing others to learn their own way with their own interpretation of a spiratual being.

LGBTQ are not to be punished. I will not be mad at someone just because they like a different something then me. If you like vanilla ice cream, and I like strawberry then enjoy your vanilla and let me have my strawberry. It sounds really silly when people get hurt, but that is really the argument boiled down to base function at least to me.

For me from this point, sorry about the rant.

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Not the most tech savvy – Update

So I do not know if this is WordPress or Windows updating but the theme on my blog does not come through on my screen. While I am working on that there are few other things that are getting some steam rolling and although each one doesn’t deserve its own post yet it is still enough for an all round update.

I am still learning the ins and outs of this wordpress deal. I don’t think I will ever stop learning, but if anyone else is having little problems with their blog then let me know. Did you get it fixed? Was it something that just took time to handle?

Anyway, on the books the editing has begun. Slow going just on the fact that I get an hour in here and there after work.

The card game has been paused for a moment because for the ones where rough sketches are needed it just does not feel right whenever one is atrempted.

Business wise there will be some small sales of the bath salts and a couple other products. Packaging is being a little difficult, and after looking some different designs there may be more on that coming.

Got ten writing contests  of which that I either have writing projects that already work for entry or create from scratch. The first one is a life lesson in 1500 words or less and mine will be to “learn to fight”.

Gotten some advertising for different projects coming up, but as Jim Carrey said ” Can’t make the scene if you don’t have the green.”

Otherwise it may be slow but it is gonna go and I hope you all have a good week. .

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Venting -How is this okay

I had to tell my three year old niece. That her father canceled his visit and now she thinks god is mad at her. I am not a religious man by any means, but trying to tell a small child one of her parents couldn’t come see her without telling her how much he really does not want to see her just makes me sick.

While I have been writing on my projects I also deal with my niece and nephew some times just so they have some kind of a good influence in their lives with their father being a waste of breathable air. My brother and I have helped where we could. While he was training at the gym and while I was writing and studying we both watched the kids.

I just had to tell a three year old child that her father who gets supervised visitations from the state has not seen his kids in three weeks. His parents think that is just fine, and he can spend all the money they want without even thinking of the kids. This is why I cannot have kids of my own because I nearly wanted to introduce their skulls to the ground and plant them like a tree.  It makes me enraged and this past week I have just had to calm down about it. This week instead of writing or studying something I have been playing Fallout 3 to vent. Started this week from scratch and now I am just about level 16 where the cap is 20.

Sorry for the disappointment, but I am still quite hot under the collar so have a good week.

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So my father recently started his own adventure riding across the country on his Harley.  All this was the epilogue after a painful loss in our family he decided to take the trip that he and his girlfriend were supposed to take. To help catalogue his adventures he has his own Facebook page that I will link down below and if you want to see what he is up to he does post his pictures from there.

He as to my knowledge has not done a whole lot of professional writing, but he will be doing some articles for the Harley owners group. More info will be on his page where you will find a lot of information about things he has found on his trip. Roller coasters will be big in the future of this trip as that was the main point of it when Tana was around.

https://www.facebook.com/Tanaghostrider/

I think it will be interesting to get to see some of what he does during he does during this cross country adventure.

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Dear Twitter

Dear Twitter,

You will have never heard of me, but I am just one of the many people that tried to make a little bit of home on your site. Guessing at the prior sentence can lead one to believe that I am not having the greatest of luck with it, and that is correct. Why, though baffled me because it seemed to me so many people were able to use it for all their projects. I even took classes to brush up until a sudden though caught me.

The physical processes of Twitter is not the problem. I cannot communicate effectively in the 150 characters to make any point I want to make a waste of all the time put in.  Some people can do it well, others need to be more freely to form their statements and that’s okay.

Some of the people you have though are the exact kind of people I just do not want to associate with on a scale that makes me think that being a true to form super villain actually seems like a sensical route. Once again, some does not mean all.  I would like to talk with some of the people on there as it would a nice way to open your mind further.

Just though, the majority of people on your website from my own experience have to be some of the most idiotic subjects in the history of failed lab experiments. Trying not to say anything about it would not make much difference, and I could do something a little bit more positive. Business plans, editing, writing, making my games, and anything else I may want to do.

Maybe, I just need some time to acclimate to the new form of communication. Maybe, I need to get used to what people think is important. Probably should stop thinking I have have found the bottom of the idiot barrel on the internet because that always goes badly. No matter what the reason is. It is about the time for me to look and go is it useful enough that I should continue trying or is it something that I should fall back until either I get used to it more, smarten myself up on it, or find myself an audience that actually has enough of a spark floating between their ears to bring a double AA back to life.

Call me old fashioned. Call me a raging idiot if it makes you feel better, and that could very well be the case. I am not safe from the sheer stupidity either. In any case hope your people are brighter and your days more enjoyable.

Sincerely,
Oneguyinportland

Also, what in the flying blue circle of hell does bae mean?
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The year we had. What will be next.

The holidays are coming and we have had a year.  Here are some of the events just from my own memory.

Lost a roommate and an apartment due to my roommate turning into a financial irresponsible stoner.

Lost my job due to my job not being able to pay on time.

Practice my writing more then in recent memory.

Brother got in a hit and run.

Siblings tried acid for the first time provoking to a bad trip.

Got a better job to fund a new apartment.

Got a newer car after my sister had scrapped my old one in spite.

My family had overreacted to a medical crisis of my sister.

I had to work through a cellulitis incident that made my legs in to a pair of bumpy water balloons for a couple months.

Got more then forty different certifications on alison.com

Got to play in a MTG Grand Prix.

Got started on a text based computer game.

Got started on a free card game and nearly done with all the rough sketches.

Got started on a youtube channel.

 

I didn’t get to my goals. But the good things about goals is that they don’t have an expiration date unless you put one on.  So you all enjoy, and I will see if we can get something more done.

 

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