college

Finals and New Year

The year is almost done. Currently I am trying to make a logo that I thought I had done and I am about two seconds away from just using a version of an older one I use for nearly everything else.

I know it happens in music but this was the first time I had something I thought looked really sharp, really clean, really nice, and I go away for ten minutes stretching to give myself a pat on the back for a job well done and turn around and I realize it is close enough that while people may not think it’s the same logo its close enough to something they would think its related.

Think how you got something all perfect and with some new eyes or ears it is close enough it could be seen as related to someone else’s. Very aggravating. It has been a while since I did a logo for a project of mine and there is time to do it.

School wise I am backing off of more things now that my terms are being finished, I have not found that the school may not be the best way for me to make an impact and it overall it has been something where I have been trying to see. Maybe I will look into more competitions.

Finals are currently my main focus in school and it may not be my best set of grades but it should be about a b average and right now that is fine by me.

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Fed Reserve Competition Post Mortem

I did not go on to the next round in my federal reserve competition. I was a one-person team, I hope I represented well and it spoke more to the issues of trusting in sources of financial power like the federal reserve and what will happen.  I thought it was interesting, I thought it would also help versus the average speech of possibly talking the same points as a paid group and claiming .25 will be a sizable change in the federal rate.

My point was at each level from us, to cities, states, federal, and even international the markets will react differently but no matter how they may take the moves in what directions because the finance game is essentially many layers of games on the same board. There was going to be a problem that if you are not trusted the moves made will not be held to the same value because trust is not as much in the reserve and the moves and people of it. My move was to take a year get the reserve to make itself a source of information for people about the reserve and finances and cut out a lot of the problems with people hearing about the reserve second or third hand.

It was a subject I thought was a good one, I did my best with it. I was ill when I had to speak, I was alone, but I also did it.  How many people can say that? It was a feast or famine presentation and it didn’t pay out.  I still would do it on that subject, I would still try to do a better presentation. Strategic Temporal Credibility in a Multi Level Reflexive Market. Could have workshopped the title more except when I had it that it felt like the best one.

Doing it on video and ill trying to speak through a rough throat the odds were long. I did something not many in my school have done and all I can hope that maybe they enjoyed something from it, that maybe they learned something. One can hope every time they enter a competition if they do well, but this time I was not enough to move to the next round.

Until the next one.

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Scary Decisions To Make

Fear is an odd thing, it comes when you never expect it and when you do expect it it never goes the way you think. When you get close to a big goal where it is within your reach.

Life has not been the kindest to me, but there was one memory, her memory that wanted Portland to be a better place. That goal has been the reason for me to get up every day, the reason to patch myself up, to learn and go to college the way I have instead just focusing on me. Now I sit on the precipice of a decision that will win or lose change my life, and for the first time in years I was scared.

This reason to go on, this goal, could be accomplished if I win one more time. I will have the road to make this city better and I think I can do it. Then a hand feels like its squeezing your heart and panic starts to rise, and you hear your own breathing a little too well, and suddenly you feel like you don’t know if you are hunt or hunted, target or tracker.

Honestly, it feels strange. When you spend so much time with a reason being why you push yourself and suddenly you have a chance, a moment where you can step forward and try to get it, knowing if you win that you have done it, or you may lose. Finality brings the fear, a chance of maybe you aren’t that good, you can or can’t. When the reason you made it through hard times was for a mission and you can finish it something happens with who you are.

A decision here one way or another will change my life.  I may lose. I may be made a fool. I may be the lowest scoring person to ever try.

However, I have to try.

More Coming.

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Million Word Month?

For those who do not know, doing 1,000,000 words is a challenge period to write a million words for projects for books for stories for blogging for everything that creative writing can be and in to do that in 30 days is going to test yourself. Generally, when it comes to something like this, I will go with the flow there will just be ideas and writing putting it all together seeing what we have. I cannot do that here.

This is a task that will require my full focus and with everything on my docket this month that is going to be incredibly tough. So, what I have done is I actually built myself a game plan a way for me that I know I can do and get to 1,000,000 words in 30 days now the reason I have to do this. Last time I wrote about my rival, well last time I was unable to compete they decided to defend the house I represented because I had to go do schoolwork and they did so very well they did the most anyone has ever written. Unfortunately, me and them both being here now means we have to compete with each other and now that means I have to try and go for what they did because I do not know if they’re going to do it again.

Now, I have been really slow in getting the books out. I apologize. You know, there are other things I’m doing. Also, there is just that I don’t feel comfortable quite yet, but I’m working on it. We have one on board. We’re getting the rest out. The problem is there’s going to have to be 10 other book projects I need to finish during this month for me to hit 1,000,000 words. I need to do 33,000 words a day.  Let’s put that in perspective need to do the following in 30 days. I need to write the equivalent of Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand and Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell in 30 days. I have to write essentially the length or the equivalent of the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer. That’s the four books: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. More than The Hunger Games and Lord of the Rings books. Together by the site I’m using for research, The Hobbit comes in at 95,000, Fellowship of the Ring at 177,000, The Two Towers at 143,000, and The Return of the King at 134,000. Hunger Games you have 99,100 and 1100 thousand. I have to do all that in 30 days, and granted, it’s actually going to be a little more than Lord of the Rings and The Hunger Games series together cause that’s about 850,000 words. I essentially have to write just under the length of the entire Harry Potter series in 30 days. According to Capitalize My Title, it comes in at 1,084,000 words. I have to hit a million. It took J.K. Rowling  almost a decade. It’s going to have to take me 30 days. Woo

What’s the plan. Plan is this. Obviously, there’s going to be posts on the blog because this is a form of creative writing. It is something where I have to train different muscles. There are going to be at least 20 different fan fictions, so if you’re the kind that likes that sort of thing, there will be more coming in very quickly. I must write 10. separate. books. Now in game of tones. There is something where editing does count for portion of words. I will be using that. Raw writing is going to be tough to hit a million on, however, I am using a dictation machine right now, which is a reason why am I writing sounds a little different on the blog because I’m just speaking it into a microphone to save my bloody wrists.

For those who are unsure if I really do talk like this. Yes, I do. It annoys everyone that has to deal with me. A lot of people think I speak like I’m from the 1920s or 30s. No, I’m not that old. However, back to the 1,000,000 words. There is a plan, there is a way to get to this point and hopefully with the tips and tricks I have learned. The focus I’m putting towards this. A dozen or so energy drinks in my fridge to help me along. There is enough here over all of that that we are finally going to get our third victory. I hope.

If you are unused to writing for long bounds or long periods or long anything, I would suggest starting off with a little bit of fan fiction. What is fan fiction, you may ask? Is it as bad as I’ve been told? There is a bit of a stigma about it. The way I have explained fan fiction, the way I have told people to look at it is you are already invested in a series in a way of writing and description that really speaks to you. What you can do is to use that knowledge and have it kind of as a lab. Not quite a scientific lab, but a lab nonetheless, because you will be experimenting with how you, the writer, do things with values you already understand very well. This is how I think fan fiction works, especially when it comes to writers because they often have series that they read, that they love the characters, they love the settings or descriptions, or they just love how things are put together. This is a way for writers to try it, to see what’s under the hood, so to speak, if you’re a mechanic, to see the playbook a little bit better, if you’re someone who likes sports in any way. It’s a way to see how everything comes up, to make it what it is. Hence, If you like to try and push yourself riding, have a fan fiction project as well. You can do a bunch of different ones, it’s a nice little. Way of doing things where you learn but you also get stuff done and people can give you some reviews on your writing. I have a profile on fanfiction.net. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad. I think I’m kind of mid as a fan fiction writer no matter the link will be put below where you can check it out for yourself. There is a lot there and it’s all over the place.

Fanfiction

Reflecting on how things have gone so far is where this plan has come off the rails a touch, because not being able to focus solely on this has been something that I knew would be a problem. This takes a lot of time and focus. As of right now I need to do a lot more to catch up but I have more time open in the next couple weeks so it is not so much that it is out of reach, I am a quarter of the way through the goal amount, but that means I need to do three quarters in two weeks and that will be difficult.

Stay Strong, and Keep Rolling

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Quick thoughts after 50 weeks

One month to go. Well two weeks. someone forgot to schedule a post

This year has been rough in some areas and better in others and it looks like next year has some more action for all of us. I can just hope that the action is not a complete disaster in waiting and we need to move through it. Writing wise I have learned more then any year before and have done more then any, as of this post in the last game of tomes between editing and writing in all its forms there is more then 3/5 of a million words worth in thirty days. Six hundred thousand words in the term of thirty days has gotten me to learn focus. It has been all I have been working on and it has bore a lot of fruit.

Seasoning wise there is a lot that has been done in trying to find out ways to bring the best flavors to the bottle. Got some test subjects to try some things and even made some starts on a series of non fiction books that is not about foods. Formulas sharpened and the need for creation even further. Financially okay which is a lot better then some people I know and there is a plan to make things grow even further.

Writing wise a lot has been done and there has been a lot learned on the subject with it seemingly close that writing should be published. Research has been good so plenty of ideas are coming and now its just the biggest questions. One needs to build so one needs to get resources, and that seems to be where my next work is going to be coming. Taking what we have and working with people to build one needs tools and money is the greatest tool of the time.

What are some of your goals moving forward. One does not have to be for the new year it could be for something starting December, starting the day after this post goes live. Leave a comment, I would love to hear, and as always.

Stay Strong

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College Loans and Disability

You know, I was initially going to just make a blog post about some positive things in the twitch community. However, something a little more serious has come into play after some thought. So now I will preface it with this. I have tried to get statements from others having this problem, but they did not want to come forward and put their names on it. So the only story I have is my own, but I can say others have had this problem. Unfortunately, no one at this time wants to step forward.

For those who are unaware, I am taking college classes, particularly in two fields of study, business administration and quantitative economics, some pretty heavy stuff. Now I am starting my first few years at a community college and making sure everything has no hiccups. I thought of getting some school loans just in case I could not work my job or something were to occur where if one had to focus on schooling and not work for a time, then it could be done.

Here is the problem. Due to health issues and previous school loans, now in a degree that can no longer be worked, I have what was called a TPD discharge. A total and permanent disability discharge. This means the government in a different department looked at what I originally did and thought. “This guy is no longer medically clear to work the degree he spent time learning and we cannot in good faith have him pay on it.”

Now it also means for three years, I cannot take any school grants, and I cannot take any more school loans until that period is over. I got the help, but for three years, I was on my own if I wanted to go to school. I am not getting any help from my family as they are concentrating on burning everything they have for the sake of cigarettes and cheap nail polish. Grants do take care of classes, but to make sure rent is covered by something would be some relief that I could use. Now, with Biden declaring how a portion of student loans will be forgiven, it would be really good to know what I took out would be removed.

Well, no, I have some questions about the amount and how that will hit a market already ballooning with inflation (remember economics major). The problem is before anyone points at my school loans as a gotcha, one has to be aware. No subsidized loans were made available to me. In fact, the community college in question declared that either a signed note backed by my neurologist or doctor stating that my health was 100% and my previous disability was gone or there would be no subsidized loans available.

It sounded weird, so meetings online were planned and attended where we could go over them more in-depth. The amount asked was not in question as it was low enough it could be handled by a subsidized loan. Still, the fact the Portland Community College explained it was due to the three-year time frame that had already expired with evidence to prove it to them. I did not take my first semester until it was already passed and still made sure everything was cleared beforehand. This made the person dealing with their finances stumble and grasp.

“Oh well even though you are disabled the government doesn’t want to take loans that won’t be paid.”

“So you are because of my disability not allowing me to get cleared for subsidized loans?”

“Correct.”

I did not yell or scream. I simply to my lumps and decided to get more information. Now, I took this to some disability lawyers just to get their opinion, and the consensus was either the Portland area had lawyers with no testicles or there was no case to be had. The problem was the decision was to make sure the loans would be repaid. As they are subsidized, the school would need to okay them from government lenders, and because of that, I would not need to pay interest until I was done with school. It was not the loan givers making it so they could not be sued, and the school was making decisions within their right, according to the lawyers around here, so they cannot be sued. From this point, it was just aggravating because there were still problems to be taken care of and the resources available for others were not available to me.

There was something that could be done, but I adapted, and as it stands, I can continue to adapt. This has been something that others have dealt with, making me a little bit miffed, to say the least. I will try to bring more evidence, but I would like to hear from you.

After A TPD discharge has been used and after the three-year time frame has expired, should they, if able, go into college and learn something to better themselves? For example, should disabled people have the right to school loans, or should they not, or is it something in between?

In fact, I may also have something to write about to help more people. Also, sorry this was late. Between health and problems, time decided to move faster than I liked, but I hope you will like the content coming.

Stay Strong.

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Honor Roll.

It has been a rough week, I got to play video games with my uncle and now have a 4.0 going through two semesters in college which is a welcome surprise. When it comes to the whole thing though there is always places to excel and this leads me to my work. Summer semester is currently in doubt because of issues from Vocational rehab after finding out the grants will not help in the summer.

There has been work on the project front and all things willing should be starting out to go to farmers markets to talk to people and see if a couple could try my products. Part of me has been wondering despite all the trying and efforts if I am good enough to do it and maybe instead I am just hopped up on my own ego.

During my whole life growing up up until me leaving. I cannot tell you times I had been struck by my family, but I can count on my hands during that time how many hugs I had gotten. There had been always a kind of prove it culture growing up in my family and part of me thinks that chasing all these goals has been a dark evolution of my determination due to that sort of thing.

Does this mean I am going to stop. Fack no. I look at my goals more then talk to some friends what it does mean though is it often leads me to think that maybe stuff like this is only how I will ever find myself in a better situation of living. There is a want to change the world, to make it better and there are multiple ways currently being used. Seeing my city fall to disrepair, to squalor still kills me for Portland is a beautiful city and it is going to be that way again and the world will be better, but first I need to find skills and grow my ways in more then ever before.

To the future, stay strong.

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Last week today.

How was your week?

Ya, it has been one of those weeks. As of the writing of this I got about 10 days left in the month and 10k to go to hit my goal and then I need to try and make ground because next month is short. College is good we have gotten into a nice rhythm and it isn’t too boring so I just need to keep up on it, working through some programs to help for the education bit.

I want to work on all the details before even starting an Indiegogo because I don’t want to be someone who need all the extra time. Right now I can only work in the US. I may just have to pull the trigger on indiegogo for us people only right now.

So at some point it will just be time to pull the trigger and get stuff done and I even went so far to asking my family if they wanted to help. They said they were short on money paying for my sister’s horse lessons and paying off a new truck. It is fine. Family was something that never really worked for me. All of it just means I can do it alone.

All you can do is keep moving forward and even when family is poisonous. Looking into running for state government to start at least trying to help my area with a better quality of person. Some people in state government are good but right now the state is going down some bad roads and while there are other people that could do it, there is a line I remember.

“If you want something done right, do it yourself.”

Progress is progress and that is great it just sometimes stings and the the achy malaise just never goes away so you have to pick yourself up and keep working on yourself. There is always something to work on there are always faults to grind to a gleam, and one of the ones recently for me is that I do not take compliments very well.

My seasonings have been getting great reviews in testing. I have been complimented many times because of this and there is so much of me bound in the work that when I receive a compliment I make a face that looks like my brain is loading and failed. So I am trying to handle compliments with a proper thank you and enjoying it for a moment before moving on. It will be something I need to do because I want people to be so happy with my products and my work to compliment me, I just need to not insult them when I do not mean to.

In relaxing I have found myself liking the games of teamfight tactics and I think I might go for gold and blue rank in hyper role. Competing like that just makes me feel like the disability did not occur, and I am who I always was. It provides me that little bit of peace, that I am sure hunting for it my opponents wish I never found. I write that line with a smile.

So tell me about whaty ou are doing? Working on social media outreach? Projects got your eye for a while, let me know and we can chew the fat on it.

Stay strong everyone.

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First O’ The Year.

The new year and it already feels like there is a lot of uncertainty in the world. Working on a lot of things it makes me wonder what the year has in store for me and I can only hope that a lot is going to come and part of something that has been the big problem for me has been my youtube channel.

I don’t know what people will want to see on the site and looking at my channel that has been around for a while and at this point I do not know what to do with it. I want to have something with it and it has just been something where there should be something and the time has changed that I will do more on Twitch then YouTube and I want to do something here, I just don’t feel that gaming is it for me here, right now.

Enough of the down, here is what is going on Millwordy is going to be fun, college classes are on for later this month and I am excited and I am looking at getting the business plan polished because we need to figure out how to get some money and how to get these products to more people. We have had some good talks so far and the end of the year has ended with some high notes when it comes to restaurants starting with orders.

Writing is going to be big and depending on how I can get to other projects there may be much more coming, but I also have to learn a couple things on those ways. In any case I hope you all find yourself a happy new year and things do get better in your lives.

Ever play Jet Set Radio Future? I love that game, when I think of being part of a group it is really that game because each character had their own personality but they came together for their own group. That and DJ Professor K was awesome. Video games have such an ability to go into depth of story and honestly I do not think we even scratched far beneath the surface on it. I hope to get to the point I can help produce them but that will be something down the road. Not as far as it was last year but sometime down there still.

Anywho I hope you all enjoy and I will be here next week 😀

Stay Strong

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Millwordy in 2022

I will be going back to college, I will be working on millwordy, I will be releasing books and whatnot and now it is just something where I am trying to put it all together in a time frame that does not make me feel like crap. The more things that need to get done the more it is going to put my energy to the limits and moving forward.

Through workouts and taking vitamins and trying to eat better I have gotten some usage back, but there is still the part of my body where always want more but I think that may just be a personality defect, no matter how much I try it will always be something where I want to try to do more. So I may have a few more books coming out I guess and I am hoping I can release one next year. That would be a good plan.

One million words and so many plans and goals had been going now and it seems these next twelve months will seem to be important for the rest of my life and looking at that it makes me a little nervous. Failure here may be something where I cannot get back, but making this year work. To a new year of challenges and hopefully of goals being hit, and of hopefully life getting better despite the world trying to get worse.

Will explain more next week.

Stay Strong and Merry Christmas.

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