Tired. So Tired

I have a lot of projects currently almost done and there is always more to do, and soon it feels like there is never enough time in the day to figure it all out. Learning more about business and what is needed to make what is personally wanted without killing myself with taxes or other things. Just trying to do it in Oregon especially close to Portland is like trying to enter an ass kicking contest on one leg and then try to stay on said foot. It is much more difficult then it needs to be and the market is not something that makes it easier so with all that there is a need to figure out finances which luckily have been enough for me to get this far.

When everything hurts though there is a point I have learned where you get tested, when it feels like spikes going through your legs and your body can barely move but everything has a price of pain whether nerve or muscular or something and you need to write a paper and you miss a quiz and your workout hurt but the intel on the stores to start selling in places. Then you need to research things and then you have to watch a ninety minute thing for a project and wondering if a version can be found to watch at double speed, because, yes listen to all new or nonfiction videos on Youtube like that and no that will not change. If it isn’t music then it needs to be doing it faster. Funnily enough it does work for me and if a deeper watch is needed, then one can take a look over the few seconds and minutes until the deeper details are found, and often still get done before the video would do.

There will be moments when you are pushed to your limit and you will realize what those moments are. People can quit but when you try to to make it through it does something a lot different then if you quit and in some way that is more in line with my own bouts of work fueled madness that makes me happy to have them. In those moments people will be tested and through my experience it can be found to be thankful for that test because without it is a question if I will never make it to the points my goals sit if in those moments the choice chosen is not to continue but to quit.

Pardon for the odd emotional outpouring, anywho, eve though projects will be hitting points soon, there is still somethings to keep moving because one thing I have learned about myself is that there will never be a point where enough is enough, there are always more things to do and to learn and better yet, when those moments come where the finish line is reached for a major portion if not an entire project. Learning that you can do it because a loud over-bearing egotistical person could do it and you might as well is something that personally, I hope more people do.

Do you have any songs that you listen to when you kind of need to get in a good head space to cause some havoc on your tasks, get some major progress down, competition maybe? One of mine is the Godzilla theme because large lizards, and I like large lizards so simple reason but it works for me.

So, what is done since last time and last week was my birthday so no article. Hope you all had a good week. Got some writing done on a d/d campaign and did more work for the kickstarter thing to start, there is some character sheets done for a manga and beginning to work on some music so while this may be late at night currently there is six full books that need to be formatted because it sounds like doing the self publish is the better route right now. Overall things are moving, more progress should be coming.

Stay Strong.

Last week today.

How was your week?

Ya, it has been one of those weeks. As of the writing of this I got about 10 days left in the month and 10k to go to hit my goal and then I need to try and make ground because next month is short. College is good we have gotten into a nice rhythm and it isn’t too boring so I just need to keep up on it, working through some programs to help for the education bit.

I want to work on all the details before even starting an Indiegogo because I don’t want to be someone who need all the extra time. Right now I can only work in the US. I may just have to pull the trigger on indiegogo for us people only right now.

So at some point it will just be time to pull the trigger and get stuff done and I even went so far to asking my family if they wanted to help. They said they were short on money paying for my sister’s horse lessons and paying off a new truck. It is fine. Family was something that never really worked for me. All of it just means I can do it alone.

All you can do is keep moving forward and even when family is poisonous. Looking into running for state government to start at least trying to help my area with a better quality of person. Some people in state government are good but right now the state is going down some bad roads and while there are other people that could do it, there is a line I remember.

“If you want something done right, do it yourself.”

Progress is progress and that is great it just sometimes stings and the the achy malaise just never goes away so you have to pick yourself up and keep working on yourself. There is always something to work on there are always faults to grind to a gleam, and one of the ones recently for me is that I do not take compliments very well.

My seasonings have been getting great reviews in testing. I have been complimented many times because of this and there is so much of me bound in the work that when I receive a compliment I make a face that looks like my brain is loading and failed. So I am trying to handle compliments with a proper thank you and enjoying it for a moment before moving on. It will be something I need to do because I want people to be so happy with my products and my work to compliment me, I just need to not insult them when I do not mean to.

In relaxing I have found myself liking the games of teamfight tactics and I think I might go for gold and blue rank in hyper role. Competing like that just makes me feel like the disability did not occur, and I am who I always was. It provides me that little bit of peace, that I am sure hunting for it my opponents wish I never found. I write that line with a smile.

So tell me about whaty ou are doing? Working on social media outreach? Projects got your eye for a while, let me know and we can chew the fat on it.

Stay strong everyone.

Disappointment In People

A lot was going on this week, and part of it made me think about how I deal with people I felt I could trust. I am not made of money right now, and on top of it, I had to get rid of some weapons-grade bullshit.

My roomie suddenly fell in love with a con man. She is two decades older than me, devout Christian type, supposedly. Well, con man has this supposed business idea he has been trying to get off the ground for a few years now. So she put in her laptop and hundreds if not thousands of dollars, only being told that her paycheck was on the way.

Well, at the behest of my roomie she stated, that a guest would be coming down to help with the business, and I don’t like this guy. Conman said he is black ops, is about 5’9, 130 lbs dripping wet and is on the phone at all times and cannot handle when he screws up, and when anyone is mad at him, he will run away like he had to change his pants after a taco night. This person came down, and she explained she would be paid by Tuesday. Thursday came with both my roommate and conman running away. The only time my roomie shows up, she says it is not her problem despite earlier helping the guest get here and working with a con artist.

While all this is going, conman insults her, brings up her kids, and is just trying to get a rise out of her and tells her, the guest, that she needs to give five things about what she did wrong. He also said to her that the apartment was his (it wasn’t), that they had money (they don’t), and that she just had to take a loan out on her boat in Michigan before she could get paid.

Things go sour because this person, who drove down to a different state with at least a five-hour drive, recognized she was scammed and after contacting my roomie wondering what was going on. She replies that it wasn’t her problem, and I exclaim that she put her name to all this. No reply, the guest is stuck in our apartment, and now she is just walking off, not caring. I talk to her outside, wondering what caused this change, and I explain conman can’t be here.

She says that she needs to find a place for him now. I ask why she needs to if he was a businessman and couldn’t get a home, and she huffs off, stating that she will need to move in with him. She tries, explaining that they were supposed to drive down to Vegas when she said they had flight tickets. The more my roommate tries to defend this, the more times their stories are getting incorrect, disappointing me.

I wish my body could be average. I wish I could work like I used to with boundless energy. Then, I would work much longer, and all this wouldn’t be a problem.

I still got to keep going, so stay strong.