Thoughts after an accident

Warning: This post is going to touch on some serious subjects.

So while I am working on all this writing, the business plans, future investments, the card game and everything it usually calls about on some major concentration. As anyone can tell by my pas posting I have not been able to get a lot done in the recent time.

It’s just I was thinking after my brother got in a wreck which he is thankfully ok from. After watching him lose his car, something that meant so much to him as being able to be free be taken away because of someone’s negligence just makes me think, and I need to vent a little.

My sister and I have a lot of bad blood between us, but its a least to the point of polite conversation. Now, during many of the years my parents often imbibed and my father was not the kindest man when things would set him up. Obviously, all the details are not needed. There were three kids and the times that someone didn’t stop it there was a couple of additions of bruises. Except my sister and I tried everything to keep our brother out of the cross hairs. Now, with pops out of prison, and mom’s memory it almost feels like my sister and I are two last soldiers in a forgotten war.

My mother’s memory was lost of those moments after her stroke. Pops would say he does not remember and my brother does not want to talk about the events he went through, the ones we couldn’t stop. My knee was twisted almost out of the socket, my jaw smacked, my ribs bruised multiple times, my shoulder blade nearly shattered just from family incidents.

It just sucks that my brother after we made it through so much after the three of us kids made it so far against everything and when my brother made it, and gets his car only to have someone wreck it and run out of their car to escape. The guy after hitting my brother so hard he slid across the width of a four lane street being spun out thought not to see if he was okay, but run. Run out of the SUV to get away from my brother, and luckily the car took the hit in the back seat drivers side. No one else was in the car except the door was bent in so far it wouldn’t open. If it was the front seat then the force would have bent the door half way through the drivers seat.

He loved to have that freedom of just going somewhere without having to ask someone. What scares me the most is when he got so mad I could almost see the reflection I had when I was so much younger. He is a different person though and I can only hope that he is not like me because I kept all my anger in when I was younger. Only time will tell and that’s what sucks. Maybe I am just over empathizing, I hope he isn’t dealing with it the way I used too

Thanks, for letting me vent.

Speaking of Food – Sauces

Haven’t done a food post for a while so with the holidays in a few months are some sauces you can use to brush up your meals so to speak. The sauce is a lot like the wing man in a fully composed meal. It should not compete with the other elements of the dish, but work with them to bring out their very best. So here are some sauces defined.

Pomodoro – One can look at this is as the basic tomato sauce. Fresh picked tomatoes with very little extra seasoning cooked down to a sauce consistency. Tomato puree can add thickening power if you find through the simmering process that it just is not the texture you wish.

Marinara – Usually seasoned with onion as well as more herbs and garlic then a pomodoro sauce would be.  Due to the additions of other flavors stirring to keep  any possible items  from sticking to the bottom of the pot  may be critical. Finding a a good bodied red wine can add a flavor boost near the end of the simmering process.

Arrabiata – This is known as the angry sauce due to the amount of chili pepper in it. It is made from a tomato base like the marinara and the spice should be calculated carefully as I have found acidic elements – such as the tomatoes in the base make the heat of the peppers a little more pronounced. When simmering try to keep the heat on the pot on the lower side of simmer (medium low on most stoves) Simmering sauces to high after the inclusion of spices may add unwanted bitterness or a metallic flavor to your sauce

Gastrique – A sauce comprised of vinegar, sugar and seasonings under low heat. With the holidays coming up a cranberry gastrique is often a nice way to bring a fresher cranberry sauce to the table. The biggest thing to be careful of is let everything come together slowly as if you leave it for a moment on high heat after it has just absorbed all the sugar then you could burn it.

Compound butter – A forgotten sauce for some reason it can be made and frozen and holds very well in the freezer. It really is butter plus (x). You can mix some apple sauce and honey in it and do a sweeter one. Mix herbs and lemon and use that for grilling or roasting. It is so easy to make you just take what you want to mix  add it to cold butter and let it warm to room temp before mixing it thoroughly.

Stock is also something that yo ushould make and usually is good with whatever is left over from a roast. It is in a lot of different sauces and can add body to just about everything that has to be simmered.

 

First time flying – Delta needs to get lost

I had the chance to take a flight for the first time this past weekend when I had to fly from Portland, OR to Charlotte, NC. The reason? A close family who had been friends with mine for many years just recently lost their father in a pretty graphic manner. Naturally, they need to grieve and I was going to help them with the process as things like that are which I have a bit more experience then them. So the couple weeks we had to plan for this went smoothly. I had gotten some nice luggage from good will for about eight dollars I had my confirmation set, and all I had to do was get my ticket in the airport before getting on my flight. Before, anyone asks I only have a card from a small credit union that just seemed to not work in withdrawing the money from the account. After a talk with my card carrier’s customer service I also let them know I would be going on a trip and that if usage popped up in those places for those days it would be okay.

Well, going to the airport I had to go straight from work. I got off at 5 while my flight was at 11, but I had never gone and if I was too early then it wouldn’t be too bad. take into account three hours which seemed to be the average before hand one should arrive as well as me going by transit all looked good to go.

Except it didn’t. You see with all this going on this was not some spa I was going to. They’re close friends, people who had known me since I was still in grade school with everything that happened in my family they were a group that were there. So when I find out that not only was my confirmation not recorded in their system, not only was I called a liar by the person behind the counter, not only did I have to explain the situation because I just did not have the money for a seat because the refund had not come back. I couldn’t have gotten another ticket on the flight if I tried because it was supposedly ‘overbooked’ I know Delta is a major company and they will not even care about this, because this is the status quo. This was the education to someone like me, because the next time this happens where your people decides to treat others so disrespectfully. I hope you find yourself in the same position. One where someone who you helped grow, and one you have been around for so long needs your help only for someone to spit on the gravity of the situation.

To hear their young teenage daughter Jessica cry knowing because in a situation I was needed that I would not show. After so many other situations she was made aware of that I would go through such troubles to be where I was needed when I was needed just to finally be stopped. It hurt me, and for your handling of the situation I would wish harm if I could find it in me to commit the deed myself.

For everything that happened, and for all the pain it caused I still cannot. I would have loved to go back to a point where I was fighting daily just so I could return the pain that was given from an emotional form in to a physical one. It’s not even hard for someone like me because I have been fighting almost every day of my life.

So I learned what it was like to fly and personally I would rather take a beating then deal with the rude service, poor pricing, and idiocy in almost every facet of the experience. I want to own a business because things like that where such poor standards are normal is something I know I can crack. You can make money while providing positive enjoyable service, and give people time to sort their emotions while they move forward.

In short: Dear Delta, I hope you have to be in the same position I was in. I would love to see how you handle it.

Now, whenever I get to sleep I hear the crying of a young girl because someone she trusted so implicitly to help in her and her family’s time of need to look on the brighter side will not be there when their family needed it most. The murmurs of my close friend trying to get her to stop crying while explaining that there I was nothing I could do.

Job Hunting and How To Succeed

I have gotten a new job and as it stand I am happy with it. So with that I thought I would take some time to go over some things that other employers may need to find people that can really better the companies. All of these things are by no mean set in stone or even the gospel, but when there is plenty of people that can work and you can’t find one that doesn’t meet your standards then maybe you should brush up on this list.

1. Honesty DOES help.
Finding the right person for a job is difficult, and the more emotion you have for the company while hiring the harder it can be. A great way to get the right people is to be honest with what you need. If you have training for your system, but you do not train how to use a basic computer then basic computer skills would be fine in many applications.

Some people I have had interviews with started as an assistant manager position open only for it to magically change as a burger flipper with a comment about how an assistant manager was not needed. Another one was following an ad for a lead line cook only to find they really just want a prep cook. Doing that shows that you obviously do not care about your people so why should anyone work for you.

2. Pay for quality.
If you need someone who has gone through and gathered experience under high stress conditions with a good background then you can not pay them poorly. You want people with two years experience then be prepared to start off higher then what you would pay for someone completely new. Obviously, if someone is low balled and does well, how long do you think it will take before another business comes in to offer them better digs? You need to bring the Cooks are my favorite example because professional cooking in America as of 2015 is a system where it eats its own young and leaving an evolution of style impossible to be maintained.

3. Think about it.
It sounds almost stupid to even note, but there are businesses that simply do not treat their prospective employees like people. It is sad we have missed this point, and with some of the other things are currently going through it definitely cuts the bigger companies off from the people with the skills they want.

Why can’t I social media?

So obviously as part of the millennials I should be very proficient handling myself on all the little social sites. When in truth I have the skill on these sites equivalent to a stack of pancakes. I barely update status, tweeting is absurd to me and Instagram is still just a very fast measure of weight.

I know how to use it and apply it towards businesses and how to advertise. Studied that and really learned how to get the hooks in in any possibly imagined. I just do not feel like using all of it for this blog. Doing advertising for this blog like I would a hardcore business position would just make it feel hollow. Over time I kinda learned I do not need people on here ever day I just want people to grow and I want to keep myself honest on my projects. Maybe, I can even do an opinion piece or tell a story.

It has been slow as of late and as much as I say I would do more, and I do to keep myself honest. It seems that whenever I do that seems to invite all the gremlins to have a convention on my bed. Things go haywire, like the kind that makes you wonder if you got cursed or that you are due for some negative karma ever since taking that last cookie.

Whomever reading this can give me their opinion how they like their blogs advertised. Maybe, I will do more or maybe I will just put it on the back end of the list of things I should get around to. Thanks for your input and good luck.

Black Lives Do Not Matter

I wanted to do a game post again, but that will be the next one. If you were expecting some half baked goof ball then my suggestion would be to wait a a few days, and I will do my best to have it up for you. It seems there has been something else sitting forefront on my thoughts, and doing so in a way that will not allow much else to be done until it has been expressed. I know some of my other posts may have had some badly thought out puns or a quip, but I think here I will not use such things. First, let me go over something that some people are angry about and let me give you my opinion.

Black lives do not matter.

Black lives do not matter because one group of people cannot have their lives try to matter more then anyone else’s. To have people chanting it, making it a hashtag, blowing up social media with it makes me a little depressed for the sake of our culture. Personally I can’t care less about what skin tone someone has on whatever particular day, because it is not something that really is important. Their culture is important, their background, context, political views, loves, hates, targets of affection and disdain are all important while skin tone simply is not. Unless you are trying to dress up to the best of your own aesthetic creating ability and aesthetic calculation aside color does not make something matter any more or less in my eyes, and for the eyes of many others.

Now, before someone goes down some fairly used set of responses pertaining to their own tragedy let me tell you something about myself, just so you understand who I am. I have tragedy befall me as so many others have had, and some would say even more so. I have had to cry myself asleep in junior high while someone close to me was raped and murdered. I have had to stop friends from murdering their entire family, bled buckets for people who thought that no one would defend them, cried for all the times the pain was too much, when one parent went to jail and once while the other was on the floor turning blue due to the effects of a stroke. I have seen people I have had so much hope for fall to the bottom, and I even tried to take my own life once to a painkiller cocktail that no one would take on accident and couldn’t sink under the rim of a large martini glass. I have seen so much idiocy in this world that it makes my skin crawl and my head ache. Every day because of all the fights I got in just to keep my sanity had some pain in it. Some days waking up is so much a challenge that I wish for some long reprieve.

There was no group for them or hashtag for us nor was their a group saying how they were a group whose lives mattered while seemingly forgetting the rest because creating such a thing would be disrespectful. The latina girl who knew I did my best as her friend, the black friend who was ostracized because he just liked acting like a hip hop styled gangster, the marine who came from the kid that tried bullying me in my youth, the christian who just wanted to feel respected by his parents. Their lives were not encapsulated in some news bit story or made light by a sixteen letter slogan. Hearing what kind of lives matter is such a foreign concept to me because it is so simple. It is like looking up and seeing the answer boldly written on the wall in marker. so simple that the questioning of it makes me wonder if we are becoming some side step on Mr. Darwin’s theory. We all have had to deal with horrible things, and some more then others. If you want me to think that those raped and murdered are not worth it, that those dying of hunger are not worth it, or even those who worked so hard to make the world better and died horribly are not worth it, but your little group of people does then please be prepared to either punch me or shut the hell up because you could not be any further from the point if you tried.

Black lives do not matter nor do white, nor yellow or red, blue or green or any shade on our spectrum.

We all matter because we all are the same when we start as a blank slate. We create the definitions of our world, and we grow within them. So how about we drop what we can say about who matters and who doesn’t, and start showing it through who you are. Make the world a canvas for all of the actions colored by who we are completely, and not what we just so happen to be on that day. A world colored so vivaciously that fantasy could become reality. That would be the world we all would be happy of.

Some black people are not the only ones that seem to have an ax to grind. Just because you think that getting people to act differently towards black people will make them act way towards everyone. It doesn’t work well that way, and that is why it such a celebration when it happens when homosexual marriage was legalized and women could vote. Because you have taken something and tried to push it through a process where spin doctors, headlines, and damage control is concerned instead of just doing it. If I said that the minimum age of presidency should be lowered by a half decade in the time frame of three years or that after four years of service as a representative or senator combined then you no longer able to work either one in the time frame of four years, or if every police department should not be so militarized then in a matter of months it would happen numbers can beat the painfully slow processes of law. Do not make something that needs to be an action i.e(wishing for police to be more transparent in reports and action) in to a reaction(#blacklivesmatter and #alllivesmatter by degree) otherwise the meaning behind it rings hollow.

We all matter, and we should act like it.

So there is what I think, some points to fight popular counter arguments, multiple points as to why this is a bad idea and my thoughts how I got there in case anyone was confused. I’m going to hope we can all treat each other better, and I know I will at least try to, thank you for reading and I am going to go have a talk with a whiskey bottle about how some actions are just so utterly disappointing.

Final Fantasy 7: Memories

Final Fantasy 7 may actually be remade. The last time people get this hyped for it was when it was being ported to the ps4 play store only for it to be a near copy of the pc port. If you love this game then you have got to be just as happy, but if you also look around is tempered with the same fear this will be just a quick grab. For many people though there is the chance to bring back some of the passion that made gaming of the past so much fun.

From the playstation era of RPG games this sat on the throne over them all with its popularity, cast of colorful characters, and despite the graphics not aging so well it is a wonderful experience. This was one of those things that you did multiple times in different ways just to see if you could. Sitting down with all the windows open, cold winter breeze blowing in to keep me awake. Hours of calculation to figure out exactly how I could best destroy whatever boss or side quest was giving me a problem. Until a character came in to my party named Cid Highwind.

Why he was so awesome was simply because, a character like him seemed never to show up in that kind of a game. While your white bread emo hero, his two female love triangle partners, a straight man, a buzz kill, a nerd, and a girl who couldn’t be happier with a lifetime supply of Lexapro were normal fare for such games, Cid was not. He had no special powers, and he wasn’t specially trained in all the flavors of murder with a weapon. Highwind was the every man that had a dream and worked over his entire life to make it happen. It also happens that he had a penchant for tea, and swore like the things in game was actually registering. Limit breaks, were attacks that often the character did as their last resort when the meter filled. For some it was a super secret sword technique, ninja magic, or even transformation. In the case of the pilot his ranged from a stick of dynamite, variations of a high jump with a spear, and just railing the enemies for a fair amount of damage. One of his techniques is called big brawl, and that should tell you the kind of guy this is.. Someone who takes anything they can do to help, and really becomes someone that can be a powerhouse. The final limit break often times is the most outlandish of the lot, and that’s the case with all the characters in game. The final limit break of Cid Highwind is just called Highwind.

Highwind – the flying battleship he had created fires missiles at your enemies until all that remains is the smell of gunpowder and whatever unfortunate splatter happened. It was a simple technique from his work that was adapted for a more up front attack. Harking back to his personality and character overall.

The best part for me was that he also had some problems. Not like cookie cutter RPG’s where everyone had a part to act, he also had some personality flaws. Drinking, chain smoking, and hard on his assistant Shera despite caring so much for her. Overall, he was a great character, and if it wasn’t for him I doubt that I would harp on this game even a quarter as much as I do now.

It is the kind of game that turned me from a weekend gamer to a full fledged game lover.

If I Could Be Serious For a Moment….

Five points if you are any sort of a Lance Storm fan.

So if you have read any of these posts they may seem like there is something I am not saying. Something, that maybe would make sense if I did explain it a little better. My head does work best when it multitasks, as sated before. That is not the only reason. I guess, with all the projects as well as the things I am trying to do I have had to make sure when I do something it ticks off multiple boxes between all possible projects. I originally started this to keep myself honest so further progress can be reached. On that aspect it has been very useful, and despite sometimes stepping back to deal with what life has thrown at me. Coming back to see where I left off is actually nice.

The problem stands on my pride. To say that most cases it could be a little more apparent is an understatement. Most times my pride only shows in an over representation smacking of the comedy of the idiotic. Some people can say they are supremely proud of who they are, what they have done, and the body of their life’s work. I cannot say anywhere close to that. There have been moments where I thought to myself that I can enjoy the overdose of ego, and as long as I do not insult anyone with it I find it okay.

Mind you, that does not also mean I am not unhappy of what I have done either. I don’t actually lie on my back and wait for clouds to go by unless I am being paid for it. Looking around I have seen many people use their pride as their shield to defend them from anyone in a competitive matter. I know I am good in a lot of things I also completely realize that for everything I have done their is most likely at least one person who has studied their entire life for the one single skill set. Knowing that I really cannot be too proud of it because their is always room to grow.

So I guess, what I am trying to say is I will never toot my own horn calling myself an ace. If I do you had better know that I am joking just to sound like a kingly bell end. (note: not British, but their terms sound a little bit more dignified then American terms.) I wouldn’t be wrong calling myself a bit of a jack of trades. Now, I can look at myself and know that is not a bad thing. Jacks are useful in many things and jobs could use a couple more jacks in the deck. I can be a little happier of that fact now.

Right now, I understand people have left, but there are still more then a hundred people still with this. Posts have not been to the schedule I wish. I am looking for a job so that I can continue making stuff with my projects, and stuff that although not related that you, my readers will like. To all of you, may the winds be in your sails and hopefully I don’t find myself on the rocks much longer.

Trying something new

Normally when it comes to very important projects one should be very focused. Which should not be a problem for many but, well the way my head works I need to constantly move and when it doesn’t happens I could do more damage trying to wait something out then doing something else. So the projects will still be there but they will become a bit more amorphous as life can be as well. So, no I have not forgotten anything I just have wanted.

Rant: People can do it

Something has been bothering me for a while. Longer then people not wanting to think sometimes or how some people can have the intelligence of a sentient can of spam.

There is so much ability out there that people are so afraid to use. whether they think they will fail or they do not deserve a chance or what have you. I know what I can do I try not to brag about it sometimes while still providing insightful blog posts and that has been a learning process. But this is not about me.

I know people who can be so much. Who have a great amount of ability, but for one reason or another it gets in their head that they cannot do it despite events pointing to otherwise.

I won’t use names for the sake of the people.

A girl who I had gone to school with wanted to translate and be a voice actress for anime. She studied Japanese for years and went to college in Japanese language to ease her way in to it. She tries to break in to voice acting, but suddenly she stops because their is this small group of friends who say that she can’t make it and she should quit to save the pain. On top of this she feels horrible because she has always been short and she can’t see how awesome she is when she defends herself. Because no one but me believed in her though she didn’t even feel pretty. I did what I could to argue otherwise.but numbers won and know she pushes paper for a state.

Someone else who feels horrible and can be a great writer but cuts herself short so much it makes go mad. She has the ability to write something wonderful. It is there as clear as the light of the new day. She downs herself so much though I almost want to shake her and get the point across that she could do it. She can be as lovely a writer and as a human being as she dreams about. I talk to her when I can and I want to hear how she did something she wanted to. She is pretty in her own way she can do what she sets her mind to.

A male friend who wanted to work on his own business something, but because his family said he couldn’t he stopped. Despite business plans and a litany of reports saying that it would be a good chance to take that their was enough there to make it work and for him to have his dream the faith of his family. They say no and suddenly he loses all self assurance.

Three people on top of so many others who have the skill, but just can’t get themselves to believe for a single moment. I understand that we do not live in a meritocracy, but can anyone tell me why people give up when they still want to do something so passionately but can still be dissuaded when everything remotely scientific points to the possibility of success.

More people can make it to their dreams