So my roommate is evolved in to super stoner idiot but that is okay because I get to spend more time with family. I love it when I try to focus on getting something up to speed and everything else seems to take that as a sign to throw everything else at you.
So that’s why I have been out but in good news. I saved up for a laptop. One that is not a decade old so at least some any equipment may be in the future and that is a good thing.
Well, well, well.
It is good to be back doing this, and it is rather cathartic. First though an explanation is needed with the sudden longer then expected vacation. It is a fairly long story that came to a head. Here is the cliff notes.
My roommate and I both played a lot of trading card games and we actually did fairly well at them. We worked best in a two on two format called two headed giant and this was far enough back that it was one of the bigger events at the mtg state tournament. He had blown up thinking I was going to pass his ability. We run two different styles so I don’t really think it is even possible. Anyway, we had to break the team and shoot our best chance of winning in the foot. The wound only stung more when the champs were a team we had thoroughly trounced before. So I was sickened seeing everything go south that I went to work on my cooking eventually going through school and taking contracts on a mountain in Washington.
After the second time the same person had asked me to get back in the fold after so many years because his singles career had sputtered and seemingly to help a friend I decided to do so. A year and a half of battles with little actual progress with other team members whose talents were not focused on any level turned all of our events where the one person who had been out for a few years having the best record. In short this all went down the tubes as he thought it was better to be stoned then to actually practice and try. On top of that he thought that buying weed would be more important then the sake of finances and decided that he could just couch surf while removing himself from the lease when we had to sign next. I may still be slightly bitter, but I do not find a good mood out of a waste of a good chunk of time. So soon I will be in a new place and getting that hammered out I can keep going on my little projects.
I am getting a little more comfortable so with that everything will be coming back too my full rate soon. Until then things will just be going at a rate of whenever I can get it out still 3 a week is the goal. We shall see what happens. I am surprised to see almost no one unsubscribed me or forget this blog while I was away. That means a fair bit so thanks for that. While I wish everything has been good with all of you. I also know that idiots never rest so hopefully you enjoy my work in the future.
So this one takes a little bit of explaining. Due to some circumstances there is a severe chance of my losing my apartment coming up in May. My roommate made some bad financial decisions and I don’t make enough to cover the rent and all utilities on my own. What this means is I will have to put this blog and the Youtube on the shelf soon. Without a place to work it doesn’t really do much good and considering there are more important things like trying to find a roof to sleep under or keeping this one my progress which I do know has been slow will only get slower until I manage to hammer out this wrinkle.
I try to keep the bad news away from this as there always seems to be enough bad news nowadays. In any case I will come back to everything when I am in a place where I continue posting here. Until then though, goodbye for now.
So for those who do not know Portland has a bit of a music scene. If you did not know then it is completely alright. I didn’t know until my senior year in high school. So don’t feel bad if anyone was actually hurt. For the rest of the population there is a band I am a major fan of and I know it is silly to fawn over them in a blog post. But I hurt my shoulders sleeping in a position that resembled a knotted piece of spaghetti and personally I would love to do something that does not involve the y-axis with my arms. Nightwish is a band that covers a lot of different schools throughout the music but can be summarized in the term operatic synth euro metal.
They are very popular in Europe and could be considered a big thing when you go to places that have thousands upon thousands of people cheering for you to where they are going now in their tour through Portland where only about 1,000 people can fit it makes things interesting because their is not a bad seat in the house. The last time Nightwish had come through that I was able to go the singer had just been replaced from Tarja who has a wide range and an operatic voice versus Annette who has more energy and a style of singing that may make more people comfortable to listen to. Now, with this tour we get to hear the new singer Floor Jansen and I am psyched like a Pomeranian on a sugar rush.
If you think you may want to give these a listen I would suggest Wish I Had An Angel, Bye Bye Beautiful, Amaranth, and Over The Hills.
This band is maybe one of two I would actually move my entire life projects and all to go see. The other two include a band that does not tour.(Black Mages) So while I am psyched to go my question today is what band would you money willing go see even if that meant calling sick or otherwise sloughing off everything else that day to get ready for? Comment below and if you have ever met someone who has a crazy story about going to a concert then share this with them. i am sure they will like it.
So with the past week this was on my plate. Three pieces of writing for the new grounds writing guild for their horror collection. Another book soon coming out nothing awe inspiring just a collection of stupid quotes for stupid conversations. I had to work out how to get the labels for the bath salts. To work on a website for my father. A full time week at the mail center and some cleaning up in my humble apartment has made me go from one thing to another at a rate where I have felt less then my best. My writing did not have the horrifying snap that I would think that it does and nothing I really have been writing has not been feeling like my best.
It was one of those weeks that made you feel like something less then your normal clip which I kinda felt blue over. Time is important so I took a little time to kinda recharge my batteries a bit because with work need growin’ I need to handle it or things will soon fall. So after tonight I am going to turn my dials up to full. Sometimes I just have to refocus my energies before making more progress.
I think some of the things that I may try is to get more grassroots advertising. Try to get people interested in to looking to my stuff and then things can get moving.
Time is sacred and no one knows how much time is left on their lifespan so using it to do the most you can makes the most sense in my world. I just need to make sure I keep myself in the sweet spot between doing just enough and burning out. So now we can bring you to your regular scheduled progress.
So normally my posts are fairly positive or pokes fun at something. This time I am going to be a bit serious for a moment, no not really as I will poke fun at myself but for those who do not know me let’s just say I can be a bit eclectic. Bit of an understatement can be made on that as you see I have more things going then the US Government.
For many years I have been diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder. Which I would agree with no that I have figured out to make it work. My high moods are short blips of having enough positive energy I could get Richard Simmons to tell me to calm down and down turns so dark that goths would need a mining helmet to talk to me for more then a dozen minutes. The down turns are normally twice to three times as long as the upturns and every so often I get a nice case of social anxiety or paranoia flashes. Which means if someone talks to me for one hour every week I will go from how I normally am to a bit of a dysfunction in skin turning in to something that fears the light and just wants to sit in the shadows hissing and snapping at people until they pass. A werewolf basically.
After the hour passes I can usually get myself under control at least in the realm of wherever my personality is at the time.
The thing is when your head works a bit differently the first thing people will give you is some kind of pills. I do not like that because I do not like having another item I need to pay for with more side effects then a mystery cocktail made of bleach and drain cleaner. So what I do is try to deal with it. My moods come with their own pluses and minuses and I try to work my style so I can get the most out of myself. If happy and chipper then I can move faster and remember things longer without writing it down. When I am more morose I tend to be more intellectually active to balance out the speed I lose. Often my technique of doing something simple will differ between the two moods which makes things interesting in the kitchen and you try both side by side.
Finding those positives and negatives and working with them has been one of the reasons I can do so much at a level I am proud of learning at or doing at. Having something different from other people is common actually, and as odd as the sentence sounded it really is odd because the one thing everyone has in common is the unique traits they have making everything in to a bit of a tcg called life. Do you go for someone with a high mana cost and seven effects or drop another land? Couldn’t tell you but what I do know is when your head is wired a bit differently the next person that tries to counter your next spell
So I read my news and people are angry. I watch my videos and people are angry in the comments. I exchange some tips on forums I am a regular on and others are mad because the correct use of the oxford comma. Which got me to thinking.
If so many people are angry then why is there very little being done about it?
People feel safe to say things behind the keyboard then they would face to face with someone. Although I never really understood that.
I will never say I am a tough guy, but at least I understand how the joints work normally and how they work when someone is trying to pull them in a way they are not meant to ever bend. Does that make me tough? No, that makes me sore with knees made of candy corn depending on the day. I have given some punches and taken a few or more so what is the point of everyone thinking they need to be so angry while on the internet. Does trying to play the tough guy get you some kind of discount at the local supermarket? Do barbed insults lower the utility bills? Is there some kind of magical machine that turns randomly spouted hate in to some viable energy ready to lower your electric bill?
No?
Then what is the point?
We have ourselves an information superhighway capable of talking to people on the other side of the world with a couple of finger twitches and can find groups of people with our same likes to talk with and still grow our social abilities. Why don’t we just enjoy what we have and if you have to say something to someone clearly wanting attention ask yourself this.
“If I say this now will I be happy I said it tomorrow and ok to show it to people I care for and respect?” If the answer is no then it is not the best idea to say it. I am not perfect on this either, but a moment may happen many just shows the trash in the spirit of whomever you are dealing with.Just my thoughts, it was on my mind for a while.
So when I started this project I was a soda drinking, overly serious human being with a propensity for projects. I still am in every sense, but I know how sometimes I can be just a little too serious. When in culinary school some people thought I actually was either a vampire or a cyborg. I kid you not when girls were scared of me because I reminded them of something out of Bram Stoker. I don’t tan much and the whole being up night and day and seemingly everywhere at once made fore some parts scary and quite exhausting. In any case thanks for being by and watching this little project grow.
Thanks everyone for reading. More will be coming. I also will be doing more writing soon. From here we will be going to a schedule I will most likely stick with for the remainder of the year. Three posts weekly. Just doing progress updates and recipes often can be two posts a week and I think a third will just be at my limit now that I am getting some steam doing these posts and interacting. So starting from the beginning of March we are going for it all and I hope everyone enjoys what they do on their own special projects. Although I am not perfect with my interactions I hope we all can grow with this.
Have a good one folks.
Also, I just had to be as big a dork with the picture as possible :p
For those who do not know I am not what one can call a small human being. I am tall, broad shouldered and rather round. Not round enough where I can fall on my side and roll naturally or I can do awesome cannonballs, but just enough to learn the ways of the bigger man. When I mean it could be a taller country boy type or just someone who lives life large and in charge.
First, often times there is a difference between us and those who are medically unable to move. Some of us have gland issues and have gotten over it some of us just don’t watch our diet. This does not mean we are lazy though it just means we have higher things to worry about then the biochemical breakdown of what goes in our face. Although to this day I still don’t eat Mcdonalds and I haven’t for years. Anyway, we do move and surprisingly well in some cases despite our height or size. Look at the some of the smaller heavyweight sumo wrestlers, some mma guys like “big country” and even historical figures like Al Capone or Theodore Roosevelt for examples.
We do know how to dress for the occasion. If we don’t need to dress for looks then often we will dress for comfort. Why? because that is what we want and it really should be looked at more. We will use what we have to do what we need to. Still every so often we can style and profile with the best of them.
Another secret that many of the bigger men have is the almost meticulous degree some people will look at others and just lose their minds over someone gaining or losing a dozen pounds. Unless it means a serious health hazard we don’t start caring over a dozen pounds. Some of us can’t even wonder why there is so much heat over some people gaining a couple pounds. Believe it or not we want you to be healthy it is okay to be whatever you want to be but all we want as people is just everyone to be healthy.
We are great space heaters. We can walk out in to the cold sometimes with nothing more then a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts and we will have no problems. Hug us and we can make you just warmer. It is good for the utilities when we don’t have to pay heating and it makes cuddling much easier. Also, if we are in a bit of a playful mood then we can actually make squeaky sounds like the ones you hear from a rubber ducky. No lie, we bigger man actually have a few voice tricks
Buying new clothes can be difficult. Though as bigger guys we know that if something says large it should be the same size from all companies. Except that is not the case when a large from one company means medium in another and no one will think of shirts with extra room in the shoulders, chest, legs and etc. Turns every time to shop for clothes like Russian Roulette by which your only save is to try it on awkwardly in store.
Finally, and I can get in trouble for this one. If you know someone that has been big their entire life then you should probably know that all of us can actually throw people into space. Don’t believe me. Make fun of their mom or tell them how their work is a pale mirror of your supposed work. Try to rip them a new one verbally I can assure you we as a subspecies of the human race have learned how to toss people for interstellar travel. Some of us can even travel ourselves. (This whole paragraph may be false for those who believe everything read on the internet.)
BigTAnderson in Portland 