So normally my posts are fairly positive or pokes fun at something. This time I am going to be a bit serious for a moment, no not really as I will poke fun at myself but for those who do not know me let’s just say I can be a bit eclectic. Bit of an understatement can be made on that as you see I have more things going then the US Government.

For many years I have been diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder. Which I would agree with no that I have figured out to make it work. My high moods are short blips of having enough positive energy I could get Richard Simmons to tell me to calm down and down turns so dark that goths would need a mining helmet to talk to me for more then a dozen minutes. The down turns are normally twice to three times as long as the upturns and every so often I get a nice case of social anxiety or paranoia flashes. Which means if someone talks to me for one hour every week I will go from how I normally am to a bit of a dysfunction in skin turning in to something that fears the light and just wants to sit in the shadows hissing and snapping at people until they pass. A werewolf basically.

After the hour passes I can usually get myself under control at least in the realm of wherever my personality is at the time.

The thing is when your head works a bit differently the first thing people will give you is some kind of pills. I do not like that because I do not like having another item I need to pay for with more side effects then a mystery cocktail made of bleach and drain cleaner. So what I do is try to deal with it. My moods come with their own pluses and minuses and I try to work my style so I can get the most out of myself. If happy and chipper then I can move faster and remember things longer without writing it down. When I am more morose I tend to be more intellectually active to balance out the speed I lose. Often my technique of doing something simple will differ between the two moods which makes things interesting in the kitchen and you try both side by side.

Finding those positives and negatives and working with them has been one of the reasons I can do so much at a level I am proud of learning at or doing at. Having something different from other people is common actually, and as odd as the sentence sounded it really is odd because the one thing everyone has in common is the unique traits they have making everything in to a bit of a tcg called life. Do you go for someone with a high mana cost and seven effects or drop another land? Couldn’t tell you but what I do know is when your head is wired a bit differently the next person that tries to counter your next spell