Why I Was Out

So I couldn’t post yesterday but I think I have enough for two posts today to right the scales.

The reason I couldn’t do any typing yesterday was that I had to go to the hospital. Picture some big dude in a black t shirt and jeans walking away with a slight swagger going to the restroom only for them to not come back. The big man who was swaying lightly now is suddenly dizzy enough that without the walls to walk he cannot go anywhere.

Take all that and suddenly everything is spinning all you know is your feet are under you in some fashion. After the retching, the loss of feeling in your arms, you keep trying to push yourself through the day. Day after day just trying to get something started and for it to be struck down again was something that really got to me. I am usually the person that can do something and just over the past few months the only news received was something is wrong and we just do not know what.

Right now typing this everything feels like its spinning around me and if I go any faster then a snail’s pace then I will find myself in a wall or on the ground. Now for a while I have been trying to get some insurance to get checked out properly. Without proper use of one’s arms, without the ability to balance properly, without the ability to even stay standing makes work a touch difficult. Actually I was swaying so much that even working at getting to my desk was an adventure, and work thought I should go the hospital. Really though it killed me because even typing this the spinning has not stopped, but when I sit down it does get a little better. Still cannot move as fast as I had wish, but that does not mean we will stop. We just have to rebuild again, and I have to keep my head up to do it.

It really sucks because that was not the case about a year ago. All this started with a case of cellulitis in my legs. Since then it has been more and more problems that just seemed to knock me back when I take a step forward. Aggravating in any case over the year it took am moment to decide on a picture for this one. Being the wrestling fan and considering that there is a fight club wallpaper on my laptop right now the most sense for stuff I had found.redesign


Health problems – Rant

Typing this up I feel like hell. I have collapsed four times in the past three days. My father says I have been pushing myself too hard and he is worried. My mother hasn’t even known how bad it is for a while.

I’m a fairly big guy just about 6’1 and before my latest few rounds of sickness about 320 lbs. It stands I have gained a hundred pounds without an addition of fat percentage, and I’m still at just abotu 27%. Gaining a hundred pounds nearly tends to be a bit of a question. Then I went to the hospital because it felt like I shattered my shoulder blade.

It also will feel some days like I had snapped something in my neck with the pain so intense I can’t even move. On top of this I had been throwing up a lot and altogether not in a great state of health. Combined with past injuries really the only thing that hasn’t been blasted apart is my left leg. My right leg has been ripped apart by a nasty injury someone had put on me earlier and never getting the chance to heal properly.

Anyway, I normally had the energy to at least keep trying to do things. Now, I can barely get out of bed sometimes.My typing speed has diminised because supposedly one of the side effects of this tendonitis is the arms individually going numb for hours at a time. I can’t go back to cooking because to have your arms numbed makes it difficult to use any sort of knife professionally.

No one knows what’s wrong with me. Not pre-diabetic no heart issues and blood pressure that a lot of people have to double check. (generally around 120/80) I can still walk for the most part when my knee isn’t lockedu p which with proper stretching has gotten it to hbe a rare occurance.

It just sucks being ill without anyone knowing what is wrong. The tendonitis is a symptom of something, and they do not know what. All I know now is my faith in my goals will be tested because with less energy and more pain it will start becoming a game of what can be done before one must rest. For the tendonitis to go away the doc said it will be either surgery which my still have it come back or just deal with it. The fatigue they can’t tell other then it is something going on with the body. It drives me up a wall sometimes, but if I keep trying eventually something will get better.

Sorry, had to rant.