Typing this up I feel like hell. I have collapsed four times in the past three days. My father says I have been pushing myself too hard and he is worried. My mother hasn’t even known how bad it is for a while.

I’m a fairly big guy just about 6’1 and before my latest few rounds of sickness about 320 lbs. It stands I have gained a hundred pounds without an addition of fat percentage, and I’m still at just abotu 27%. Gaining a hundred pounds nearly tends to be a bit of a question. Then I went to the hospital because it felt like I shattered my shoulder blade.

It also will feel some days like I had snapped something in my neck with the pain so intense I can’t even move. On top of this I had been throwing up a lot and altogether not in a great state of health. Combined with past injuries really the only thing that hasn’t been blasted apart is my left leg. My right leg has been ripped apart by a nasty injury someone had put on me earlier and never getting the chance to heal properly.

Anyway, I normally had the energy to at least keep trying to do things. Now, I can barely get out of bed sometimes.My typing speed has diminised because supposedly one of the side effects of this tendonitis is the arms individually going numb for hours at a time. I can’t go back to cooking because to have your arms numbed makes it difficult to use any sort of knife professionally.

No one knows what’s wrong with me. Not pre-diabetic no heart issues and blood pressure that a lot of people have to double check. (generally around 120/80) I can still walk for the most part when my knee isn’t lockedu p which with proper stretching has gotten it to hbe a rare occurance.

It just sucks being ill without anyone knowing what is wrong. The tendonitis is a symptom of something, and they do not know what. All I know now is my faith in my goals will be tested because with less energy and more pain it will start becoming a game of what can be done before one must rest. For the tendonitis to go away the doc said it will be either surgery which my still have it come back or just deal with it. The fatigue they can’t tell other then it is something going on with the body. It drives me up a wall sometimes, but if I keep trying eventually something will get better.

Sorry, had to rant.