New Ideas Same Problems

Let us be honest, for most of us in the cities of the world how we buy things is changing. Portland is one of the locations and the biggest problem is how to make something secure to prevent looting. Nothing will ever be one hundred percent proof, but there have been some store models that have caught my attention, for better or for worse so I would like to share that with you today. Big chains and small have been feeling the sting and those who have been claiming everything is right as rain is once again wrong.

One more for me.

Anywho, big chains and small shops feeling the heat and with the issues especially in America there are just a lot of problems, and it is to the point where Walmart is closed down in my city, Walgreens is closing stores, small stores are getting railed by the past decisions of the city, state, and country and it seems that the turnaround is a mirage. One problem at the heart of all of this and something that people need to remember is thievery and destruction of property. A lot of people who support those actions, will say it is the insurance that will pick it up. The problem is the insurance also has a right to see that the business is too risky and stop backing the premium.

I did some research calling for a business location next to Portland state where things like school supplies and some nerd stuff could be sold. I have to get insurance mind you to start a brick and mortar business in the city is because the city will fine me otherwise because it is necessary. Six companies, and full note I did explain after about halfway through I was researching to write on the cost of opportunity in the city and at large, and no one wanted to be quoted and named.

Something that I am not happy with, but I will respect and in doing so I got some very honest tidbits. Insurance looks at the crime rate in the area and in multiple ways for the formulas that determines their risk and if the risk is too high like in some companies idea of the city of Portland or in some areas of it, there will not be a premium offered. In the case of my idea that would mean it could not open and now the store is dead in the water. What was state by three separate agents had been that cities that cannot keep order will have a premium multiple times higher then a similar city who has a better crime rate or a stronger penalty for thievery. After that it would depend how much money is coming in in and if debt is accrued, how easy can it be paid, all simple things that should be no brainers. Something that the majority of them had said throughout my calls had been there is something to be said for things not being reported because the police are already past their limit trying to handle things. Things that had gotten so bad that Fred Meyer has had to have a special alliance with police just to stop thievery that as been plaguing the stores.

Now, business still needs to be done so some stores around the country had been trying to figure out this very important challenge, because in all of these areas there is too much thieving and not enough police. Walgreens is heading to something of a model, currently in Chicago that would only have two aisles of items open to the public. With everything of major value behind a desk in an area that only employees can get to, with some people saying how it is not showing trust to the customers and it is racial profiling.

First of all no it is not. Chicago is not a race first of all, and second of all, if the people have shown on the whole they cannot be trusted then do not be shocked when things change to give better security. On top of all of this when employees take video of the thieves, they are fired, when they try to stop the thieves they are fired, when they stop an effort in anyway they are, you guessed it fired. I can understand that because if an employee does something for the store that can open them up for lawsuits. It is also the paradox of starting a business in these areas that are staying empty, one cannot often file a report or will be able to because police cannot help them, and then people who claim its all political, you all need to get your head examined.

When businesses cannot do business, they will fail, I know I am bringing in my experience and training for some Einstein level formulas here, but it is true. All of this means businesses cannot do business, they cannot earn money, they cannot survive, and it shows in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Chicago Detroit, Portland, Seattle, New York. No money from business means business cannot open places, means less jobs, means less money those workers can get. What honestly shocks me is that his is very easy to grasp and a lot of people cannot figure out why after shoplifting at a place for months on end, that it would close down. Those losses from shoplifting means that prices will often have to be increased.

Security and keeping everything safe means that moving forward we will have more stores falter and without a way to fight back consider seeing more models of stores adopt the Walgreens setup. It is something that the next generation of business able to handle it well will be able to make money moving forward, but until then it is still a rough ride.

Stay Strong.

One Less Captain

Captain Kori has passed.

A young youtuber whose health issues had been something of a struggle. He was able to make use of his time with his family having fun and being able to get the most of out of the time left. Johnny Depp, after hearing about him and his love of pirates even showed up as Jack Sparrow for him, something for everyone enjoyed.

All of this on the internet, and up to this point and as he was trying to make the most of it. From this more people see him, he starts a Youtube channel with his family’s help, wants a play button, people support him. Bigger channels back him up to get him everything he needs to at least get him to the silver play button. People then send him stuff or try to make his day better. All of this as he gets some foothold on the internet, is several levels of good. Shocking to those who have been on forums their whole lives, but such things can exist. However, it is made clear he is still not well health wise and tries to do what he can where he can. This is for him and for others we may lose.

People may leave, but the dragons they hunted and the challenges completed will stay with us. How they handled themselves in adversity making their memories live on long after the last challenge. Here’s to ya captain. Ride the seas in the next life.

I did not know him, I was watching all the same, subscribed to the Youtube, left comments, and just tried what I could from here. Typing this was some small move that people remember the good. Below in order

Captain’s Channel

Mama Captain Channel – No she is not advertising her channel, and to my knowledge did so very little, and she just lost her little boy. It ain’t much, but its better then nothing.

#RIPCaptainKori

Some days it just feels like every day is a kick in the dick.

How do we fix it.

Politically, Portland is in a place of trying to keep up with appearances. It has been that way for the longest time and because of it mistakes are being made. Going more in depth no one needs to state that politically the past few election cycles have been painful. While there may not be a complete list of answers in my crystal ball there are enough that, I think, will explain how keeping up with the Joneses has made Portland fall from where it once was, as a city with so much to offer, to a warning.

For those who do not know, or may be seeing this in another country ‘ keeping up with the joneses ‘ is an saying that often describes an entity, in this case a city, keeping up with neighbors like it for the sake of not losing status. Portland may have been feeling it, because for those who do not know Oregon is on the west cast and the major cities of California, Oregon, and Washington have been the guiding force for the state as a whole, which as angered a fair number of people as the Greater Idaho project will show.

Portlandia, the fake corporate image of quirkiness for story line sake had been something that should not have been so strictly adhered to. Poetic, though that in trying to be we completely stole a line from Austin, Texas. Keep Portland weird, should have been ‘Keep Portland Honest’. Nothing is wrong with a little bit of nuance provided it is honest and it is not becoming a toxic trait. Make beer, smoke weed, be safe about it, and no problems will be heard from me. Unfortunate that many of the moments since then to try and keep the ‘quirky vibe’ had been something that has hurt us overall. The biggest backing issue of that is the homeless situation, We did not want to appear like we were mean, because the idea of Portlandia had been ingrained where people are nice, and that is not nice.

Continuing with this keeping up, I would like to make a note that San Francisco and Seattle are both very liberal, and have been that way for quite a while All three of them are aligned politically and all three of them have issues, but unlike Seattle we don’t have the sports trades and the rare streak of sense to save us. San Francisco has the money, but that does not save them, meanwhile Portland has neither. When it makes mistakes that money can help cushion the blow, it cannot do it so much as the other two, and when all three cities started allowing homeless sent to them. When the George Floyd riots were prolonged by all three because politically the riots and they aligned, and that can be verified by all three cutting money to police, rescuing rioters who had committed damage against the cities, and often times even go protest with them. Back in the Portland resistance Ted Wheeler thought it would be a good idea to join the protests with Antifa and BLM. One of those has been a group filled with pedo’s and now a group who has had one hundred million dollars over the past few years to go in reverse.

Wheeler was protesting against the feds, then, it does not count.”

Yes, yugioh memes. However those who voice said opinion just did. The buildings in question were being damaged by the riots and were targeted and the city did not do anything to help, standing in unity against those with beliefs different from them who currently held the white house. So, because Portland looked to the other two of the three stooge cities and saw what they did, and wanted to do it too they did some stupid whose purity has to be higher then what we have seen before. Jesse and Heisenberg would need to rewrite the laws of science for meth this pure and Portland is creating condensed idiocy because the cool kids are.

It has been that way for a while, and now we need to fix it and stop the stupid lab. This is not something that can be done in months, this will have to be fixed in years and it will need to be done quick. So in no major order some ways to fix it.

First, arrest the county commissioner on all the charges he has allowed to happen because he actively let those with his political beliefs have a free walk or a slap on the wrist for charges others would get years for. Charge him as associate in all those crimes, I doubt he would get charged on one, but that means he would not be able to handle his office fairly and would need to be removed. He may even get charges, some would cheer for that.

Second, you actually clear homeless encampments and if there are drug issues you arrest them and tell them if found again it is going to be years. We have been so soft now that we have to push everything back quickly, and it will seem mean. Deal with it. Keep 110 ( the measure to have small amounts of every drug legal), but if you are found with quantities of hard drugs for dealing its minimum 5 years no deals to go lower, no more bargains.

Third, figure out whether you back the police or not, but do not waffle because either way there will be those hurt. No police, means people handle business themselves and when enough people figure that out, that means if you try to steal a candy bar and get a chest of birdshot, that’s on you. If you let people sleep on your property and the light it on fire, blame rests on your shoulders.

Fourth, remove the homeless camps and rework the mini home parks for veterans needing them and students in the city and the surrounding areas studying to better themselves. They are the ones that can live in those should free up more resources down the line for homeless families trying to get things back together, and if people want to live in their car then they need to do it in a respectful manner at least, which shouldn’t be much of a problem. A lot of people working ot survive, and living out of their car are the people you usually want to help.

Fifth, have homeless who just had a bad turn of luck be easily found and make sure the resources to help them specifically are known and used. Make sure the money is going to the right places and make sure you cheer for the success stories, because that gets other people looking at them, if they had just gotten a degree, or was able to juggle a certificate with their own family caretaker duties and I see that? I may just want them on my team when I have an opening, and can use their services.

Sixth, Cut all the political keeping up with the joneses and remove everyone who has not shown to be responsible in their job positions, and those who are not need to be fined for dereliction to their duty to the state, the city, and its people. If there are any political position where someone has been underhanded or taken money or items for reasons they should not have. It should be an instant, loss of job, loss of benefits and investigation for charges, and if evidence is found then enforce the laws and commit to possible punishment.

Seventh, figure out what this city wants to be, and what the businesses and the people want to be and realize there will always be hardship, but we can strive past it. Not shy away and cry when things don’t go our way.

Stay Strong In Any Case

What Is The Problem…

When I was out there was a lot. A lot of things that make no sense in the city of Portland. I was going to do two whole posts but I will change that plan, a little bit. Portland is my home, it has been my family when there was no family for me and seeing it go the way it has been has been painful. No one is doing well in the city it seems. It all hurts.

This post, the plan is to go over some of the bigger things and then the next one should be about why is all this happening. First problem is with the crime. Simple enough problem, looking up some people may go to the point and blame the cops, but in this case they do not seem to be the bearers of the lion’s share of the blame. Remember in the past few years the police have had item after item taken away because they were used in the riots and they stopped the riots. They had their budget cut after those riots were filled with people who threw everything from eggs, rocks and fireworks at them. All that right there would be enough to have the police station completely lose their heart.

Also, I know people will bring it up. Yes, not all police are good, but the inverse is true as well, and I have met both. When the police screw up there will be nobody faster then me to call it, but to do that we have to keep track of some laurels, and to my experience, there has been a lot of things that police could have left for and they are staying despite what feels the leadership in the county prosecutors office and in city hall trying to stop them. Those are the sources of leadership for the police as well as the office in charge with charging for crimes. When those two do not do their jobs, when they abdicate their duty for the sake of feelings of the smooth brained then, like a lot of officers have, you will wonder why you are doing it and either walk away from the city, from your badge or both.

When shoplifting gets so bad that businesses run out closing everything including some of the biggest in the country closing down locations, we have a problem. No one feels safe and a good portion of Portlanders, have been clueless to this until it directly hits them. When those people open the business to have everything jacked in the day and the police cannot come, because they are taking care of over doses, murder attempts and shootings then you feel powerless. The police cannot multiply themselves and because of how have been treated you need to pay them a kings ransom for anyone to come in.

Look up “Portland is” on Google, leave it blank, this is what was my results. A pun on the county prosecutor who failed to such a level, that now his name is a slang term for badly run event or time frame. There have been times where I have tried to screw up in my specialties, and it would not have sniffed that level of excellence in failure. Wait, I can hear it now.

“Um, that was clearly taken from a page with your profile signed in, of course it will be anti leadership, it won’t do that on a private page.” sounding like someone trying to breathe through an ocarina.

Unfortunate for that point that this is here too.

For those who still want to complain, take your L, back of the line.

This is not good. If this does not change, we are going to see it get a lot worse, right now with how bad the rest of the country has been and the money of those thinking they can hold their breath before profits plummet on things like land. All of this will be the best it looks for quite a while. Money problems from management and how the markets are trying to sit through it, that is not the sign of a healthy market. It is the sign of a market who need to get enough to cover there needs and they would not get it now otherwise they would have sold already. All of the squalor has gotten so bad that police need to escort firefighters, in some areas to fight a fire because of homeless camps.

Willamette Week reports here https://twitter.com/wweek/status/1677342515031322633

I will say twitter is the prime website for watching dumpster fires. Things have gotten so bad firefighters need to weak Kevlar. Before you ask if that is part of natural kit, no it is not. Kevlar is not great for fighting fires but it handles bullets fairly well. https://www.oregonlive.com/portland/2021/09/portland-firefighters-to-get-bulletproof-vests-as-risks-increase.html

We don’t need a change, we need a lot of them.

Stay strong. Next part is why.

Portland Sports Woes

Everything going on in the Blazers being bad currently, I thought there should be something said. Despite how little I talk now about basketball I used to be a major trailblazers fan. Unfortunately, as a warning, if you have met someone who has been a fan for more then a decade you need to go and give them a hug. If they had done more then two decades then please let them know everything is all right. They keep cheering for their home team but it never gets any better and are constantly hurt.

Greg Oden, Sam Bowie, our drafting has been painful. Our scouting even more painful. During all these times there had been some pride that came from being better than we actually were. We would make playoffs sometimes but often were stopped by Kobe’s Lakers. Then we also had the JailBlazers. That was a time most fans could go on without. I bring all this up because now one of the biggest stars in modern Portland history wants a trade. He has not been given the tools to succeed and he would like to get a championship.

Understandable, if the management is not getting you the help then you need to leave, not happy with it, but it speaks to the leadership then to him. We have the timbers and thorns, which Soccer in America is the lowest of the major sports, and that is it. All of which is rather infuriating because there have been efforts to get Portland a MLB team. We would need to get a capable arena for them and we would need to have enough people back it causing everything to be at premium rates.

Then there is the hockey chance we had. We could have had a hockey team. Portland could have had a pro hockey team. We could have had the NHL give us a team, and we have the arena so we don’t have to pay to build one. so much money and we would have a team in the playoffs if they mirrored Seattle currently. Nope, they decided we did not need the money. Brilliance.

We don’t even have arena football anymore, not because of issue with fans, but because we had management that couldn’t figure out how to be honest about their finances. Another major sports team would have done wonders right now because right now Portland does not have a lot, we don’t have titles, or major scenes and we have more interest in either soccer or alternative sports in America. Look, you can go back in this blog and find receipts.

It is aggravating when people seem to try and fuck it up for the sake of their own bottom line, or their own stupidity, and unfortunately if stupidity was a sport then Portland and the people running the sport scene and management would be able to have medaled for the past 20 years. There is a market here, but stupidity seems to stop it, and right now it seems to stop a lot. Still bothers the ever loving piss out of me.

Why Try?

A few new awards and certificates sit on my mantle, well, window sill. Now not only am I dudist but nondenominational as well giving me the rights and capabilities in the cities which is often the capabilities to fill out forms in times of need for people if the need does come up. Also, the school has honored my work in particular for the efforts in the senate and helping some other groups work with the senate.

Not my actual mantle, just a fancy one tho.

Being in therapy there has been something on awards and titles, because all of them as it has been discussed is over time there has been an effort to use those awards to feel like I exist. Like if there was none on my record would anyone even know I existed? After finding time to mull it over there had been something to think on. There is no bones made my life was not the worst, but it was not the best either and part of that was there wasn’t a whole lot of family outside of maybe my grandparents. My mother passed and when she did she had been grasping the damage done before her upkeep got the better of her. My old man had been a slave to the bottle for so long he could not tell you what he did when he was drinking, and because of that did some horrendous things.

It took me until being an adult to be okay with people randomly hugging me. Every time someone did I would stiffen up and freeze like a statue, they did not know that my life had been so lacking of friendly physical contact. We had to talk about how people being social creatures, if they could not get something they needed would make due with what they had on hand, and for me my awards and laurels were what filled that need for something so simple as a hug. I know it sounds stupid but you know what people can be stupid sometimes, especially if they do not mean to be. Now, that does not mean I am stopping in my projects for excellence, that is just my wiring, but it is nice to understand something about how your head works.

Makes me able to look at my awards now and at least be proud of what has been done because back then it would not have been worth much. Still, there is always something to be done, one wants to aim high and the progress must be continuous. Been awarded from the faculty and the senate itself and from my certifications and it actually feels nice. Part of me will try not to use it as just filling a hole in my life, but you know what it was still earned, so at least in a healthier way there can be some personal pride. Hope, things are getting better for you as well.

Stay Strong.

Portland, Freedom, Bacon, ‘Murica

Happy Freedom Day. For those in the USA and then get some telescopes and wait for the fireworks. For those who are not its when we go bonkers on such things painting the clouds all sorts of colors and lights for a moment, without anyone hurt on purpose. It is a circus of the people and it has shown to be a fool’s errand to ban such things.

https://www.portland.gov/fire/your-safety/fireworks-banned-portland

Portland being dumber then a stack of stones, it has been too long since this happened. No, despite the article there are reasons to follow it. There is a massive fire hazard and then there will be a lot of problems with morons being stupid with them. That is all stuff, that actually makes sense. All the fire investigators will have a problem because there will be a lot of fires due to the homeless population still camping throughout the city of Portland. Hard to charge people with anything when they are released for everything south of murder, and you may only get a slap on the wrist for murder half the time for that.

Firework at night by U.S. Army is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

It is something sad that people cannot enjoy the celebrations the rest of the country is having, but when you count how the city needs something positive, and how the city is doing something about it that hearing this makes me laugh. This will not be honored and coming out of the city there was more then four shops for fireworks less then four blocs from the city limit. It looks like the rest of the area had a laugh and looked at the rule in about the same light that I did. Granted, my social calendar is something where there is not celebration save for a good meal, a nice bottle of whiskey and a two liter of Coke Zero and getting to work on projects until what’s left of me passes out on my keyboard or standing up whichever happens first.

Honestly, for this one try and be safe, whether in Portland or abroad nothing ruins the day like a moron with a roman candle trying to figure out how they can make a Megaman buster out of it and burning your apartment down. Take precaution. If you are going to use fireworks, do it safely. You could go on the internet and find different events going on in the city. Portland or otherwise, there should be something to look and see what may be in your area, you may find something cool, so while it is funny and stupid to try because a city that size with that many issues there will be people who will get fireworks for the night out of spite to the people in charge. The city is getting to that point that even if they had been charged there may be times and places where trying to enforce it is more trouble then it is worth.

Happy Holidays

Senate, Slimming and School

There ain’t no rest for the wicked.

Budgeting in a senate for a school of 50000, that’s right fifty thousand students. Their student government has had some issues with budgeting coming into our new form. I am proud as peach pie right out of the oven for the issues we had to climb over, for the obstacles that we come across, and that there is some damn fine work done. A team despite cut down and split for the needs of the other senate groups there is no better then those who had worked with me in my subcommittee. Making sure we did not ask for more money and even saved money for the future. Against the backdrop when it seems the state and the country wants to burn all they can with nothing in return.

My team, went from eight and because of everything had been cut and cut and cut again but even then we managed everything we could. We stood our ground where other finance people may sit in the back we were as much in the thick of events as everyone else and even more so when it comes to meetings with the faculty and the admins of the school. It made me think that there was something there and as my team is part of people returning there will be even more growth now that my spot in leadership is open. We showed ourselves well in events and this year will be fun because there is even more to do.

There has been more done then ever and that has meant my body has been getting leaner. It has not been changes so big, but smaller ones that had been where the value has been found because when one is used to it then one does not feel the need of older larger meals, they can move more like they used to and despite my body still creaking, now it is doing more and while there is still the battle with time it would be a laugh riot if when getting older there is something of better health. One hops this trend continues and it should for all that is coming to help me with it.

Next is the studies, projects that has been troublesome had more time spent to learning the ins and outs of the skills needed. No, I did not forget the music one, lots of time studying how to do it and to build in different ways. One thing has come up about what one would sing about because over my time as a senator and even listening to some other musicians especially in rap the criminal lifestyle is painted so rosy when so many people seem to fall into the traps of it. Now we have to make lyrics that does not deal with the same things that so many use in almost every song. Problems still exist, but there is still progress to make.

School is going well, still doing enough that my name is on the president’s list and there has been some efforts to make my transfer to university easier, meanwhile part of me wonders how the next part of my education for this will be getting harder still. Take the positives where they stand, I find life is easier that way. Tried to actually bring my father into it, some people had said how they ( my family should be here for when I make such progress. Being honest, they never cared about such laurels and awards unless it made me into a better trading chip for getting things for my sister. If it does not help her then my parents would rather drink at the bar then deal with me.

Which goes to the next thing is there has been somethings that I have found some therapy for. I am not going to hide about issues, and while it did take a while for someone that was trustworthy enough to help me, it did start uncovering some things that always hurt, and now it can start hurting a little less. Socially, it is taboo to talk about the mental injuries. We need to be open to make progress with the least amount of difficulty and there are more people about there who need to look into it thinking they can’t. No, you can. It is okay. When you learn you are a poker chip, a value to be played and bet, and not looked as a child but as a tool. It tends to make you unhappy, but now, after starting this therapy there has been great effects, at great pain to work through traumas. Some will never be able to completely worked through, although there has been contact with some of my oldest friends to realize that each of us has been broken in different ways. Hoping we can all get to do something soon, we had a lot of differences but to know all us still have our problems, makes me want to be the guy who would cackle and throw myself into the battle, trying to make it better. My goodness, already almost a thousand words, I will not keep you all. Stay strong, and keep bettering yourselves.

Finishing Business

https://gameoftomes.org/a/mrbigtanderson-person

There is no shame in losing to the best of a competition. Even though one tried their best it should be still a feeling a pride that if they had done everything and still not gotten it. That is what was once told when I was younger. Part of me believes it and part of me doesn’t because it hurts as everyone knows to put everything in your efforts and still have to be that much short of the goal, of the prize no matter how big or small it may be. In a competition that is all about base numbers and getting them high as possible there is something to when an amateur can stack with the pros. Looks good to see you can hang with people who may have made this their profession or who made it their main hobby because you may not have the time or the health or the energy but still you are there and doing everything to stand amongst them. This competition has something left for me to get because I have been the top writer in two separate events. Out of everyone I have been the one guy to beat and pushed myself to pain whether I like it or not and as much as those two times make me smile because some small part of me looks at all the people trying for everything and still feels like the outsider. No worries, while our work shows that we belong.

What had been the most painful has been the two times where I had been close, so close at doing it with all the books written the plots hammered out and the words counted only to find that unfortunately, my spot was one short of the goal. Jafar makes a good song about only being second best, but it stings when that is the case. It hurts, it burns and there is enough pain in my life that this time there is less a plan and just will. There needs to be a third victory, even if it never mattered and even if my fingers go numb and my body breaks again, fine. It will be done. Who knows, it may be that this will be second best again.

As Alexander Anderson said once, though” I would like a stab at it.”

Part of it will have to be new to get to the number that is in my crosshairs, but this time we are going to do, we are going to put on the joker makeup and act like a dog chasing an ambulance and see what happens when we get to it, if we do. Sometimes it has to be something that we put all our chips in and find the next level we have in something and let all we have be on the wayside. There is something to be said reaching that point for a goal no matter how inconsequential in the long run, and finding that right now would be nice.

Stay Strong.

Back in the Saddle.

It has been a while. Hasn’t it? So a couple months ago there is this sick feeling filling my gut, something of unhappiness. Something where the most I did throughout my years added to nothing and looking at the edited books waiting to be released. I had still clung to it was something where it made me sick because there was this feeling that nothing would get done. I was not allowing myself to proceed to become better.

Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

One of the things that made it through my thick skull was ‘if you do not move forward then you are moving back because time will push you, if you do not make an effort to stay on top of things’. and so we have to make efforts that sometimes means we have to do things where we have to swallow our pride. That was something new pride. I do talk a big game and I do work, but there is an effort to not be so prideful walking about because of how it could come off. Unfortunately there was a bit of a lesson that is taking some time to learn. Our world does not value humility, one has to be a monster of prideful sometimes so people understand that you are that damned good. For me over this time where I went radio silent there is and will always be a chip on my shoulder. Would more be done if my body had not short circuited? Would my body push farther, would it all be easier?

Even now the burning in my left leg has begun a feeling a fire that happens every summer and while some of the time has been spent getting in better shape it burns with a flame that never goes out. It tires and it grinds me down and makes me cry in pain as the feeling of crackling embers and poisoned lightning shoot through my nerves. Classes are still going on and there will be a lot of posts moving forward because despite all the issues of self questioning this month I am going to update because a lot has changed in my space, but there are always problems people need to get through. For right now though it is nice to be back on this again. For all the bad this allowed me to get some things straight. Also, this happens to be part of a writing challenge that had been sticking in my craw for quite some time. No one has been able to win three competitions and no one except me has done two and still tried.

One other person has done two competitions and they had to leave after a set of time, so doing something that no one has done before in a field filled with everything from amateurs to professionals. That will be the part of another post because all this will be part of this, and maybe there will be a push to finally get everything out and yell screw it. There are a lot of posts to update his month, going to try for one a month and see where that leaves me. After so much time there is a lot to go over. Stay strong.