There are moments that when things get really high stress there is a part of me that likes to smile. Like right now, I am trying to get my third victory in game of tomes, there are people chasing me that can beat me, they have the ability to do it, and just need to run a little bit longer. Push a little harder, find another gear despite things not looking my way sometimes, all of it has just to be a little longer, and I can make it.

When my time started in Game of Tomes there was just someone who came and picked me up for their team, an offer that no one else made. Despite professional editors and writers all that was on my resume was some small stories and fan fiction no one liked to read. People seemed to be so proud of what they could do, and part of that insulted me. There never was that sort of pride with me then, and because of it there was a rage that came and gave me a charge that many found hard to fight against. Attempt after attempt was made to be a better writer, and some of the efforts are shown here, some are given away here.

Now, I have been top writer twice, been second twice, beat leaders and writers and editors and are sitting on more books then ever, now so more because the time it takes to release means there is not writing being done, and the focus is the writing and the editing. Ever since my youth there were moments were people would fight until my back was too the wall, where my wrists would be sprained or broken, where my ribs were cracked by shots with baseball bats or pieces of wood. There is something that my friends back then noticed about me.

When it came to the last card, when it came to the point where it was no escape, then I turned into a devil to survive. Some were even scared it despite them being bigger then me. The fact was not that they had been trained and my size was the factor, it was the factor that when there was one way out, there would be no expense spare to make it through. In fact in different circles it is why I am nicknamed Red, or the smiling devil. Those unused to it and had to see me fight would watch as the person who was happy and trying to help them out was painted in his own blood in a brawl and was smiling.

Fun fact, my hair is still long not because it is normal in Portland, because of the scars on my scalp, it looks really scary so the hair keeps it covered up really well. The reason that these moments are brought up is that there is something almost beneficial pushing yourself to those limits in something, even if it is for survival. When something you are so invested in is your goal where anything will be the cost to be paid. You realize how far you can go, and it is always farther then you originally thought. For this round of Game of Tomes, this is where I am. Due to being behind these posts did not get typed until the last day of July.

These are the moments that make me smile. One more fight, one more try, one more goal, one more path, just me and my surroundings against others and their capabilities. No health issues, no problems no handicap, just who can do more and part of me wants it to be me. The other part just smiles knowing if we lose that it was a good fight, and that allows me to sleep. It stands that for individuals no one, not a professional writer, or editor has done more then me and the work that is in my pile is proof of that. This time there was no practice on edits save for the light ones, this was just getting it done.

Backs to the wall facing your enemy seeing the goal behind them. One more fight, one more round, time to see who writes the end of the story on the competition. Let us see if the punk from Forest Grove who got in fights can win one more. Either way I will let you know of the results.

Stay Strong and keep fighting.