Pandemic Chaos

I still have friends who are homeless for one reason or another, some have health problems where staying would only make it worse believe it or not. (We tried on that one) Talking to them through all the chaos has been pretty sobering, because whatever hope had been is completely gone. My home has been completely devoid of hope for many people left living on the street.

The pandemic has made the city look at its plans and the signs of the failure have been noted earlier before. One that was done where I was ready to go all political and rant and rave, but honestly reading over it, it didn’t bring anything more to the conversation. I am not happy about Portland for various reasons and I am working on a long term plan to make it better.

Want something done right, do it yourself. I will say that this chaos has been something that ripped away a lot of facades and right now there isn’t a lot where people can hide. Less stabbing in the back and more people against you at the start, but if you can explain to people where to put their passion then a mountain can be moved daily.

Let’s just say a lot is currently in the fire. We all can get better and I hope that through this blog you can see how you can do more as well from homelessness to disaster relief to things that can even make camping a little easier, and that is where I think I will keep it. Mostly on those subjects so if you are homeless a lot of the info can be useful still and even if you camp it can be beneficial.

Stay Strong and Stay Tuned

Rage Against The Scene

You may notice that this, being homeless is all very infuriating. No one gives you a chance, and seeing my family and hearing how they would boast about taking bets when I would give up my dreams of a better future and come back groveling, well let’s say there had been moments where by a slim margin I didn’t practice a swan dive from a parking garage.

It sucks that people say ‘because your white, your male, your late twenties to early thirties’ and think there are much more deserving. However, one thing through all of that I found is that making it out shown me a lot of people just want to be left alone and survive. I wanted to thrive. I wanted to make the world better. I wanted to do enough that my statue stood somewhere and people looked at it as a simple sign of what being a stubborn man with a goal can be. Others are going through this or painful things like this, one may be reading this, and let me put it simply, there is a way out, it is hard, it is painful, you will have moments of doubt, keep moving. Do not let others give it to you, but you go and take it because you could be on the outside looking back on what you survived.

This is somewhat long but this is the point, being handicapped, it sucks, but it is up to you to find ways use it and get something positive out of it. I wake up and realize I may die today. Death will have to work for it and until that moment I’m going for it all the anger the pure rage capped off by that time where I was no more then trash by so many, I use that. Not towards people, they didn’t know, but to the idea, the simple thought process that was so cold and cruel to me and so over bearing to others.

Coming where I come from people will say that anger is unhealthy. It all depends on how you use it and if you are in control of it, or is it in control of you. I am the angriest person anyone will ever meet, but if you met me in person, you wouldn’t think so.

If you have anger issues, and I have had many before I got it under control during the time on the bench than let me teach you something that was very valuable. Do not be mad at people, people are malleable, they learn, they do try, but that does not meat you can not be mad at an idea. Be furious at the idea of you remaining homeless or getting homeless, be furious and make yourself the promise that when you get out it will never happen again. No matter if your family tries to take you back, or others try to demean you, or life just seems to tough to continue, you can do it and you can take the anger and talk to people but you can get downright dirty breaking down ideas to dust.

Also, I am going to do something I have had to learn to do a little better since the nights on the bench, and that is ask for help. I hope you are all enjoying me getting into this again, but if you noticed I do not have my Twitter, I will not be on Twitter due to it is a complete madhouse and I have enough chaos in my life to invite more and make myself sicker about it. Instagram will be more about overall projects

There is a lot that needs to be said and I think it is time for me to start making some waves and working with more people to do it. If anyone has any suggestions then I would love to talk shop.DSC_0024Here is a picture for those who need it look at be calmer.