community college

Tales from the Shadowlands

Time is fickle, but fair.

My family has left me with nothing, they made the bet that I would fail and would do so at the cost of everything. that I would not make it so they can once again try to break me down further.

What they did not know, was that this time, this time I won the bet.

3 honor societies, awards and pins that had covered one of my college senate stoles so much that other people have made the joke of calling it the generals stole. As the awards are reminiscent of the rack of medals on a generals chest. That is something that cannot be taken away.

I could not be here to talk, because there was some learning that had to be done, and it was something that could not be done and then be possible for me to write about it.

We live in a world that the more you know, the more it seems to be a horror of our own design, but in that horror there are moments where hope shines. It takes a while to see them, but it does exist.

Hope is human.

Sorry for waxing poetic. Stay Strong

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Senate, Slimming and School

There ain’t no rest for the wicked.

Budgeting in a senate for a school of 50000, that’s right fifty thousand students. Their student government has had some issues with budgeting coming into our new form. I am proud as peach pie right out of the oven for the issues we had to climb over, for the obstacles that we come across, and that there is some damn fine work done. A team despite cut down and split for the needs of the other senate groups there is no better then those who had worked with me in my subcommittee. Making sure we did not ask for more money and even saved money for the future. Against the backdrop when it seems the state and the country wants to burn all they can with nothing in return.

My team, went from eight and because of everything had been cut and cut and cut again but even then we managed everything we could. We stood our ground where other finance people may sit in the back we were as much in the thick of events as everyone else and even more so when it comes to meetings with the faculty and the admins of the school. It made me think that there was something there and as my team is part of people returning there will be even more growth now that my spot in leadership is open. We showed ourselves well in events and this year will be fun because there is even more to do.

There has been more done then ever and that has meant my body has been getting leaner. It has not been changes so big, but smaller ones that had been where the value has been found because when one is used to it then one does not feel the need of older larger meals, they can move more like they used to and despite my body still creaking, now it is doing more and while there is still the battle with time it would be a laugh riot if when getting older there is something of better health. One hops this trend continues and it should for all that is coming to help me with it.

Next is the studies, projects that has been troublesome had more time spent to learning the ins and outs of the skills needed. No, I did not forget the music one, lots of time studying how to do it and to build in different ways. One thing has come up about what one would sing about because over my time as a senator and even listening to some other musicians especially in rap the criminal lifestyle is painted so rosy when so many people seem to fall into the traps of it. Now we have to make lyrics that does not deal with the same things that so many use in almost every song. Problems still exist, but there is still progress to make.

School is going well, still doing enough that my name is on the president’s list and there has been some efforts to make my transfer to university easier, meanwhile part of me wonders how the next part of my education for this will be getting harder still. Take the positives where they stand, I find life is easier that way. Tried to actually bring my father into it, some people had said how they ( my family should be here for when I make such progress. Being honest, they never cared about such laurels and awards unless it made me into a better trading chip for getting things for my sister. If it does not help her then my parents would rather drink at the bar then deal with me.

Which goes to the next thing is there has been somethings that I have found some therapy for. I am not going to hide about issues, and while it did take a while for someone that was trustworthy enough to help me, it did start uncovering some things that always hurt, and now it can start hurting a little less. Socially, it is taboo to talk about the mental injuries. We need to be open to make progress with the least amount of difficulty and there are more people about there who need to look into it thinking they can’t. No, you can. It is okay. When you learn you are a poker chip, a value to be played and bet, and not looked as a child but as a tool. It tends to make you unhappy, but now, after starting this therapy there has been great effects, at great pain to work through traumas. Some will never be able to completely worked through, although there has been contact with some of my oldest friends to realize that each of us has been broken in different ways. Hoping we can all get to do something soon, we had a lot of differences but to know all us still have our problems, makes me want to be the guy who would cackle and throw myself into the battle, trying to make it better. My goodness, already almost a thousand words, I will not keep you all. Stay strong, and keep bettering yourselves.

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College Loans and Disability

You know, I was initially going to just make a blog post about some positive things in the twitch community. However, something a little more serious has come into play after some thought. So now I will preface it with this. I have tried to get statements from others having this problem, but they did not want to come forward and put their names on it. So the only story I have is my own, but I can say others have had this problem. Unfortunately, no one at this time wants to step forward.

For those who are unaware, I am taking college classes, particularly in two fields of study, business administration and quantitative economics, some pretty heavy stuff. Now I am starting my first few years at a community college and making sure everything has no hiccups. I thought of getting some school loans just in case I could not work my job or something were to occur where if one had to focus on schooling and not work for a time, then it could be done.

Here is the problem. Due to health issues and previous school loans, now in a degree that can no longer be worked, I have what was called a TPD discharge. A total and permanent disability discharge. This means the government in a different department looked at what I originally did and thought. “This guy is no longer medically clear to work the degree he spent time learning and we cannot in good faith have him pay on it.”

Now it also means for three years, I cannot take any school grants, and I cannot take any more school loans until that period is over. I got the help, but for three years, I was on my own if I wanted to go to school. I am not getting any help from my family as they are concentrating on burning everything they have for the sake of cigarettes and cheap nail polish. Grants do take care of classes, but to make sure rent is covered by something would be some relief that I could use. Now, with Biden declaring how a portion of student loans will be forgiven, it would be really good to know what I took out would be removed.

Well, no, I have some questions about the amount and how that will hit a market already ballooning with inflation (remember economics major). The problem is before anyone points at my school loans as a gotcha, one has to be aware. No subsidized loans were made available to me. In fact, the community college in question declared that either a signed note backed by my neurologist or doctor stating that my health was 100% and my previous disability was gone or there would be no subsidized loans available.

It sounded weird, so meetings online were planned and attended where we could go over them more in-depth. The amount asked was not in question as it was low enough it could be handled by a subsidized loan. Still, the fact the Portland Community College explained it was due to the three-year time frame that had already expired with evidence to prove it to them. I did not take my first semester until it was already passed and still made sure everything was cleared beforehand. This made the person dealing with their finances stumble and grasp.

“Oh well even though you are disabled the government doesn’t want to take loans that won’t be paid.”

“So you are because of my disability not allowing me to get cleared for subsidized loans?”

“Correct.”

I did not yell or scream. I simply to my lumps and decided to get more information. Now, I took this to some disability lawyers just to get their opinion, and the consensus was either the Portland area had lawyers with no testicles or there was no case to be had. The problem was the decision was to make sure the loans would be repaid. As they are subsidized, the school would need to okay them from government lenders, and because of that, I would not need to pay interest until I was done with school. It was not the loan givers making it so they could not be sued, and the school was making decisions within their right, according to the lawyers around here, so they cannot be sued. From this point, it was just aggravating because there were still problems to be taken care of and the resources available for others were not available to me.

There was something that could be done, but I adapted, and as it stands, I can continue to adapt. This has been something that others have dealt with, making me a little bit miffed, to say the least. I will try to bring more evidence, but I would like to hear from you.

After A TPD discharge has been used and after the three-year time frame has expired, should they, if able, go into college and learn something to better themselves? For example, should disabled people have the right to school loans, or should they not, or is it something in between?

In fact, I may also have something to write about to help more people. Also, sorry this was late. Between health and problems, time decided to move faster than I liked, but I hope you will like the content coming.

Stay Strong.

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